Reverend Conehead
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I've met the love of my life on Facebook. Yes, just out of the blue some woman I've never met, who has ridiculously gorgeous pictures on her profile, sent me a friend request. Then I told her I'm glad she found me because I lost her number after we met at the Billie Eilish concert in New York City (which I did not go to). She agreed that we met there. I referred to our night of passion that we shared there (which did not happen), and she agreed.
Of course, she loves me like crazy and is super glad we met. But right now she's in a jam and is about to be evicted from her apartment and needs my help. She needs me to send her $300 for the rent for her NYC apartment. (You can rent a flat in NYC for $300?) I told her I'm a multi-millionaire, and I'll send her a check for one million dollars. She tells me a check will take too long to get there, and she's about to be evicted today. She says just buy gift cards for $300, and it will get her out of the jam. I told her my feelings are hurt that she won't accept my one million. She says to send the 300 or she'll be out on the street. I tell her to just live in a tent until she receives my one million dollars. She says she needs food too. I tell her to go to a food bank and live in the tent, and then once she gets my check, she'll be millionaire.
I tell her I'm madly in love with her, and I'm worried that, in our night of passion in NYC, I might have gotten her pregnant. She says, yes, she's pregnant, and she needs that $300 to end the pregnancy. I tell her I'll be furious with her if she does that. I tell her I'm madly in love with her and want to marry her and have that kid with her, and 8 more. She says she'll keep our kid, but I need to send her the $300 so she doesn't end up on the street. I tell her living in a tent is just fine if you're waiting for a one million dollar check.
She says she doesn't need the one million, just $300. I tell her my feelings are hurt that she won't accept my million dollars, and that proves she doesn't love me. She says, help, she's about to get evicted. Just do the 300 in gift cards.
I finally blocked her. I was sure she was the love of my life, but it just didn't work out. Sigh.
Of course, she loves me like crazy and is super glad we met. But right now she's in a jam and is about to be evicted from her apartment and needs my help. She needs me to send her $300 for the rent for her NYC apartment. (You can rent a flat in NYC for $300?) I told her I'm a multi-millionaire, and I'll send her a check for one million dollars. She tells me a check will take too long to get there, and she's about to be evicted today. She says just buy gift cards for $300, and it will get her out of the jam. I told her my feelings are hurt that she won't accept my one million. She says to send the 300 or she'll be out on the street. I tell her to just live in a tent until she receives my one million dollars. She says she needs food too. I tell her to go to a food bank and live in the tent, and then once she gets my check, she'll be millionaire.
I tell her I'm madly in love with her, and I'm worried that, in our night of passion in NYC, I might have gotten her pregnant. She says, yes, she's pregnant, and she needs that $300 to end the pregnancy. I tell her I'll be furious with her if she does that. I tell her I'm madly in love with her and want to marry her and have that kid with her, and 8 more. She says she'll keep our kid, but I need to send her the $300 so she doesn't end up on the street. I tell her living in a tent is just fine if you're waiting for a one million dollar check.
She says she doesn't need the one million, just $300. I tell her my feelings are hurt that she won't accept my million dollars, and that proves she doesn't love me. She says, help, she's about to get evicted. Just do the 300 in gift cards.
I finally blocked her. I was sure she was the love of my life, but it just didn't work out. Sigh.
