The "I'm stupid" thread.

[YosemiteSam]

I did that for a few minutes one time...but for days?:laugh2:

That would suck...I guess it could have been worse if he started tearing stuff up trying to fix it though.

Yeah, I bet you've driven around for a few minutes with the parking break on! :laugh2:

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Yeah, I bet you've driven around for a few minutes with the parking break on! :laugh2:

NEVER!!! These are unfounded lies to besmirch my good name.
Ok...I admit it...I did it.

:laugh2:

Funny story though.

My pops took me and my cousins to go see the empire strikes back years ago.
Probably wore him out driving a car full of kids to and from the movie.

Anyway, on the way back off in the distance was a bright light. Looked like it was a motorcycle coming down the road.

My dad is getting mad (he is quick tempered while driving :laugh2: ) and saying...why is this blankety blank driving in the middle of the road with his high beams on. So my dad is cussing and flipping between his high and low beams in order to get the motorcyle driver to switch off his high beams and to let him know another vehicle was coming so that they would get in the right lane.

After a few seconds of switching between high and low beams and cussing...we hear two real loud blasts from horns.

Turns out it was a train. The tracks ran parallel to the road for a good portion and since we were on a slight curve it looked like the train light was in the middle of the road.

Pops did not say anything and my cousins and I were smart enough not to laugh...at that time.:laugh2:

 

[Khartun]

Sold my 68 Firebird when I left to go in the Army.

Should have kept it and sent money back to have it worked on and so on.

I still regret selling that car.

A buddy of mine had a cherry convertible 68 camaro or firebird, I forget which, that he traded for a street legal dune buggy. The dune buggy broke down within a month or so and he got rid of it. What a waste.

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

I hardly ever go to bars (usually for a football game if I go) but I've be asked by women who just walk up to me to buy them a drink. I tell them straight up, I don't arbitrarily buy drinks for people I don't know. They usually look at me with an ugly face and call me a cheap ***. I just shrug, and say "Bye."

That goes for just about anything, no matter who is selling it. In NY, you get ask to buy all kinds of crap on the street. It's a flat no, unless I see some value in it for me. (99.9% they are never offering anything of value)

You reminded me of something.

Back in the mid 90's my company opened a new location. One day I was there in front alone. A gentleman comes walking in and just had a ticked-off attitude about him. The look, the way he walked and all. He was carrying key chains.

He walks up to the counter, and as opposed to handing me this piece of paper, he sort of slams it down on the counter. I pick up the paper and unfold it and it states, "I am deaf. Buy a key chain for a dollar." Not please, not even a "Will you buy". I took it as being demanding. I looked at him thinking maybe he can read lips and tell him that I'm not interested just to see his reaction. He reaches over and snatches the paper out of my hand and turns to walk off. I said, "Hey wait, I'll take two." And he turns around. I said, "Not deaf are you?" Boy if looks could kill, I would be six feet under. I told him as he was walking out not to try that stunt next door because I was calling them to warn them.

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

When I was in High School I had someone offer me a good price on a Suzuki 125 enduro motorcycle. $400 for a pretty nice bike.

So I started saving up my money for it. We had some friends who were getting up there in age and she did not want me to buy another motorcycle. I already had a couple. Instead they offered to sell me there car. Even though the car was a convertible I thought it was horribly ugly. They offered me the car for the exact same price. I turned them down.



That car was a 1958 red Volkswagen Kharman Ghia with a while top.

I'm an idiot.

Ouch. Wasnt the grammar thread your baby?

I hope there/their wasnt one of your pet peeves

If you were speaking about this, then you may need more grammer classes. Hos used it correctly.

When I read your post, I thought you meant his spelling. (highlighted in red)

 

[Khartun]

If you were speaking about this, then you may need more grammer classes. Hos used it correctly.

When I read your post, I thought you meant his spelling. (highlighted in red)

No he was referring to this:

When I was in High School I had someone offer me a good price on a Suzuki 125 enduro motorcycle. $400 for a pretty nice bike.

So I started saving up my money for it. We had some friends who were getting up there in age and she did not want me to buy another motorcycle. I already had a couple. Instead they offered to sell me there car. Even though the car was a convertible I thought it was horribly ugly. They offered me the car for the exact same price. I turned them down.



That car was a 1958 red Volkswagen Kharman Ghia with a while top.

I'm an idiot.

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

No he was referring to this:

Missed that. Thanks for the correction.

Dang Hos, there/their and a while top. Getting old sucks, huh?

 

[CoCo]

You reminded me of something.

Back in the mid 90's my company opened a new location. One day I was there in front alone. A gentleman comes walking in and just had a ticked-off attitude about him. The look, the way he walked and all. He was carrying key chains.

He walks up to the counter, and as opposed to handing me this piece of paper, he sort of slams it down on the counter. I pick up the paper and unfold it and it states, "I am deaf. Buy a key chain for a dollar." Not please, not even a "Will you buy". I took it as being demanding. I looked at him thinking maybe he can read lips and tell him that I'm not interested just to see his reaction. He reaches over and snatches the paper out of my hand and turns to walk off. I said, "Hey wait, I'll take two." And he turns around. I said, "Not deaf are you?" Boy if looks could kill, I would be six feet under. I told him as he was walking out not to try that stunt next door because I was calling them to warn them.

30 years ago I was working one saturday afternoon in a rural location when a motorist stopped by and needed help. He'd run out of gas. I stopped working and drove him a couple miles back to a gas station. They had no gas cans to borrow, had to buy them. But an old contractor who was gassing up said he had a gas can the guy could borrow. So we filled it up and I drove him back to his car which was a short distance from my employer and I went back to work.

I thought it a bit strange that I never saw the guy drive by back the other way to return the gas can but I figured I just missed him. Its not like I stood there waiting to see it. A short time later the old contractor shows up at my door mad as heck and telling me he's going to call the cops on me. Sure enough the out of gas motorist never returned the gas can.

This kind of attitude absolutely INFURIATES me. You're in need, you ask for my help, I give it, and then you rob me? Not of MY gas can, but my reputation!

Your "deaf guy" story makes me mad, but nowhere near as mad as my out of gas story. Its because your deaf guy was scamming from the start. My guy, I believe never set out to "scam a free gas can." He just had a need that when it was filled he couldn't have cared less about the people who helped him out.

And we wonder why some people have become cynical. I don't care necessarily if people proactively seek to make this world better. I want them to, but I certainly can't make them. But could you at least not make the world worse off with your screw others attidtude?

/rant off

 

[Hostile]

Missed that. Thanks for the correction.

Dang Hos, there/their and a while top. Getting old sucks, huh?

Actually I need to get my eyes checked but I had to buy new glasses for my youngest first.

Some stupid typos. I don't do those every time though which is a lot different than the point of the grammar thread, but I'll wear the egg on my face for both mistakes.

 

[MarionBarberThe4th]

If you were speaking about this, then you may need more grammer classes. Hos used it correctly.

When I read your post, I thought you meant his spelling. (highlighted in red)

I usually dont care about all that , and I rarely bother w/ apostrophes, and I constantly use run-on sentences. I just want Hos to be on his toes since it was thing

 

[Hostile]

I usually dont care about all that , and I rarely bother w/ apostrophes, and I constantly use run-on sentences. I just want Hos to be on his toes since it was thing

Can you translate that for an old geezer?

:wink2:

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

Actually I need to get my eyes checked but I had to buy new glasses for my youngest first.

Some stupid typos. I don't do those every time thought which is a lot different than the point of the grammar thread, but I'll wear the egg on my face for both mistakes.

Oh no!! You did it again!! :tongue: :doh:

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

30 years ago I was working one saturday afternoon in a rural location when a motorist stopped by and needed help. He'd run out of gas. I stopped working and drove him a couple miles back to a gas station. They had no gas cans to borrow, had to buy them. But an old contractor who was gassing up said he had a gas can the guy could borrow. So we filled it up and I drove him back to his car which was a short distance from my employer and I went back to work.

I thought it a bit strange that I never saw the guy drive by back the other way to return the gas can but I figured I just missed him. Its not like I stood there waiting to see it. A short time later the old contractor shows up at my door mad as heck and telling me he's going to call the cops on me. Sure enough the out of gas motorist never returned the gas can.

This kind of attitude absolutely INFURIATES me. You're in need, you ask for my help, I give it, and then you rob me? Not of MY gas can, but my reputation!

Your "deaf guy" story makes me mad, but nowhere near as mad as my out of gas story. Its because your deaf guy was scamming from the start. My guy, I believe never set out to "scam a free gas can." He just had a need that when it was filled he couldn't have cared less about the people who helped him out.

And we wonder why some people have become cynical. I don't care necessarily if people proactively seek to make this world better. I want them to, but I certainly can't make them. But could you at least not make the world worse off with your screw others attidtude?

/rant off

I'll tell you one.

A few months back a lady strolled into our place of business and asked for money. Said her daughter was out of gas and stranded at a community college about 20 minutes North. I told her that I won't give money, but it just so happens that I was headed that way so I would take one of our cans and drop about 3-4 gallons in it. The "mom" replied in a not so nice way, "What would 3-4 gallons do for her?" I looked her right in the face and said, "Get her home wouldn't it?" The "mom" was so upset at not getting cash that she actually left in a hissy. I yelled next time to come up with a better lie.

 

[MarionBarberThe4th]

Can you translate that for an old geezer?

:wink2:

Last edited by Hostile: 5 minutes ago

hmmmm......

 

[bbgun]

Has anybody ever used lighter fluid to "jump start" an indoor fireplace fire?

 

[Hostile]

Oh no!! You did it again!! :tongue: :doh:

:bang2:

hmmmm......

One point. I did go back and edit my posts. I always do when I find typos. Even posts that are dead for 4 months if I find them later and no one had ever caught them. You will always find the edit remarks when I do this.

I did not however edit any of the posts quoting my errors. Not your posts quoting my errors nor the other one. So my errors are still exactly that, my errors which are typos.

Typos are not the same as grammar errors done over and over.

Doesn't matter, I will again wear the egg on my face that you have caught. No big deal.

 

[DallasEast]

There is a dinky little Chick Fil A located not to far from my workplace. The restaurant has two drive thrus on both sides. It's nestled alongside a busy side street, with a narrow EXIT driveway sitting almost directly in front and an ENTRANCE into its parking lot from another side street which snakes its way behind the building.

The first time I went there, traffic was thick and I couldn't make heads or tails of how to get into the parking lot. With folks bearing down on their horns for me to get off the freaking road, I pulled into the parking lot via the exit driveway and whipped my car right beside a service window.

One of the employees walked over to the window. She was a cute little thing. She smiled very politely at me and said:

"Sir, you've entered the drive thru backwards."



:bang2:

 

[DallasEast]

Has anybody ever used lighter fluid to "jump start" an indoor fireplace fire?

Can I trade you my going into a Burger King restroom when I was thirteen and thinking to myself that the two women I met inside (who were smirking at me for good reason) were in the wrong one?

 

[bbgun]

Can I trade you my going into a Burger King restroom when I was thirteen and thinking to myself that the two women I met inside (who were smirking at me for good reason) were in the wrong one?

No biggie. I always loiter in women's bathrooms.

 

[DallasEast]

No biggie. I always loiter in women's bathrooms.

Cue memo to WG: You're going to end up having to go after leaving the restaurant...