What are some funny things you thought as a kid that were wrong?

[Silver Surfer]

....

-I literally thought my dad could beat up anyone.

...

My dad literally WOULD beat up anyone.... and everyone.... he's lucky he didn't get shot.

 

[SilverStarCowboy]

That I'd end up as good or better than the men who led by example, taught and coached me, or even some that failed to exceed expectations of society ....that's the funniest thing that i can come up with, just not "ha ha" funny.


Wait...as a child went to a Barber Shop, the Barber says " Hey there kid you want a Buster Brown!"....after an awkward silence, then i replied "No sir, I just say Dam-mit."

 

[Trouty]

I grew up with my grandparents and we had a dog who had free run of our large fenced-in yard. The yard was basically flat, green and full of trees, but there were woods behind the property that tended to get a bit swampy that during the colder months and some of it would reach a little into our backyard.

I had the largest yard in the neighborhood, so all of the kids in my neighborhood came to my house to play football in the backyard. Well one day we were playing football like we always did and I see our dog trotting along from the backyard and it looks like he has something in his mouth. I started walking toward him and the closer I got, I started realizing he had a snake in his mouth! A live snake! It was also a dark colored snake which most likely meant it was a water moccasin (aka: cottonmouth).

So, I started chasing my dog screaming his name and the word "NO" and every other verb I could think of. Of course the dog thought I was playing with him and he started running around, shifting back and forth, having a great time while I was freaking out. I started yelling at my friends, "He's got a snake! Help me get it out of his mouth!" and they started chasing him, and the dog couldn't be any happier. There were more kids playing with him than he had ever seen. After what seemed like forever (probably more like 3-4 minutes), he started to get tired and dropped the snake. I took a hoe and killed it and later found out it was indeed a water moccasin.

Needless to say, football was done for the day, the dog was worn out, and I still to this day have no idea what I would have done had I actually caught the dog with the snake still in his mouth.

Reality, your dog killed a water moccasin? That's a gorgeous species of snake, but one of our most aggressive and most poisonous in NA (per LD-50).

You grew up near moccasins? Have you seen any in their natural environment?

 

[Reality]

Reality, your dog killed a water moccasin? That's a gorgeous species of snake, but one of our most aggressive and most poisonous in NA (per LD-50).

You grew up near moccasins? Have you seen any in their natural environment?

He didn't kill it. He finally opened his mouth and let it go and then I killed it.

Yes, I saw a few growing up, but I moved away since then.

The only snake I have seen in the last few years was a king snake that I almost stepped on. I didn't know it was a king snake at first. I was walking and had my foot in the air when I heard a rattling noise (more like a fast thumping noise) and noticed a snake that was curled up and very hard to see in the grass even though it was 4-5 foot long.

It was rattling its tail which really freaked me out as I thought it was a rattlesnake. I slowly backed away and went online to identify it and it turned out to be a king snake, and while I had never seen a king snake, I remember my grandfather telling me how they eat snakes so I didn't kill it. I never knew a king snake would rattle its tail though. It wasn't a high pitched rattle sound like you normal hear from a rattlesnake, but it was shaking its tail quite fiercely which definitely made it look like a rattlesnake.

 

[Trouty]

He didn't kill it. He finally opened his mouth and let it go and then I killed it.

Yes, I saw a few growing up, but I moved away since then.

It was rattling its tail which really freaked me out as I thought it was a rattlesnake. I slowly backed away and went online to identify it and it turned out to be a king snake, and while I had never seen a king snake, I remember my grandfather telling me how they eat snakes so I didn't kill it. I never knew a king snake would rattle its tail though. It wasn't a high pitched rattle sound like you normal hear from a rattlesnake, but it was shaking its tail quite fiercely which definitely made it look like a rattlesnake.

I adore this (the bolded)

Yes, King Snakes predate on rattlers and other snakes. They are a small constrictor and gorgoues. The regular King and California King vary vastly in color scheme.