Chief
"Friggin Joke Monkey"
- Messages
- 8,543
- Reaction score
- 4
Vinny Cerrato (sitting in Daniel Snyder's office): "Boss, we've got to do something. We still don't have a head coach. We have coordinators, but no head coach. People are starting to laugh and point fingers."
Daniel Snyder (pacing back and forth). "We need a sexy hire. It's gotta be a sexy hire."
Cerrato (eyes crossing and bugging out): "Boss, you're the sexy face of the organization. We just need a guy to be head coach. You're the headliner."
Snyder: "Who's out there?"
Cerrato: "Well, we already had Spurrier."
Snyder: "What about Pete Carroll. He's a hot coach right now. Very sexy."
Cerrato: "We already talked to him, remember?"
Snyder: "Who else turned us down?"
Cerrato" "Several guys. Jim Mora, Steve Spagnuolo ... "
Snyder: "Hey, I've got it. Parcells! A sexy hire that would make Jerry Jones cry."
Cerrato: "Boss, he has a new job running the Dolphins organization. Hey, what about Jimmy Johnson?"
Snyder: "The race car driver? C' mon Vinny. The media would roast me for that. They would say I went from a car owner to a car driver. Big step down."
Cerrato: "No, the former Dallas and Miami coach."
Snyder: "Never heard of him. Hey, what about Bobby Petrino? He's probably ready for a move again."
Cerrato: "Boss, you've tried an NFL coach (Schottenheimer), a college coach (Spurrier) and you've returned a legend from retirement (Gibbs). Maybe we should find a real good high school coach and try that."
Snyder: "It's gotta be a sexy hire, though. I NEED SEXY."
Cerrato: "Let's broaden our search to include guys that aren't really football coaches."
Snyder: "Good idea, you crazy-eyed *******. Hey, I've got it. Bobby Knight. He's a free agent now."
Cerrato: "Boss, you said you would never tolerate anyone with a hotter temper than you. Remember?"
Snyder: "Oh yeah. Hey, I know, I'll bring in Tom Cruise. That'll blow everybody away. It's perfect. He's my best friend. He's a big name. A sexy hire. He was in that football movie, "All the Right Moves." And he's shorter than me."
Cerrato: "Boss, he won't do it. He's too busy guarding Katie Holmes."
Snyder: "I give up."
Cerrato: "I guess we're back to Fassel or Mariucci."
Snyder: "OK, Fassel it is, but have him change the pronunciation of his name from Fossil to Fau-SELL. It sounds sexier."
Daniel Snyder (pacing back and forth). "We need a sexy hire. It's gotta be a sexy hire."
Cerrato (eyes crossing and bugging out): "Boss, you're the sexy face of the organization. We just need a guy to be head coach. You're the headliner."
Snyder: "Who's out there?"
Cerrato: "Well, we already had Spurrier."
Snyder: "What about Pete Carroll. He's a hot coach right now. Very sexy."
Cerrato: "We already talked to him, remember?"
Snyder: "Who else turned us down?"
Cerrato" "Several guys. Jim Mora, Steve Spagnuolo ... "
Snyder: "Hey, I've got it. Parcells! A sexy hire that would make Jerry Jones cry."
Cerrato: "Boss, he has a new job running the Dolphins organization. Hey, what about Jimmy Johnson?"
Snyder: "The race car driver? C' mon Vinny. The media would roast me for that. They would say I went from a car owner to a car driver. Big step down."
Cerrato: "No, the former Dallas and Miami coach."
Snyder: "Never heard of him. Hey, what about Bobby Petrino? He's probably ready for a move again."
Cerrato: "Boss, you've tried an NFL coach (Schottenheimer), a college coach (Spurrier) and you've returned a legend from retirement (Gibbs). Maybe we should find a real good high school coach and try that."
Snyder: "It's gotta be a sexy hire, though. I NEED SEXY."
Cerrato: "Let's broaden our search to include guys that aren't really football coaches."
Snyder: "Good idea, you crazy-eyed *******. Hey, I've got it. Bobby Knight. He's a free agent now."
Cerrato: "Boss, you said you would never tolerate anyone with a hotter temper than you. Remember?"
Snyder: "Oh yeah. Hey, I know, I'll bring in Tom Cruise. That'll blow everybody away. It's perfect. He's my best friend. He's a big name. A sexy hire. He was in that football movie, "All the Right Moves." And he's shorter than me."
Cerrato: "Boss, he won't do it. He's too busy guarding Katie Holmes."
Snyder: "I give up."
Cerrato: "I guess we're back to Fassel or Mariucci."
Snyder: "OK, Fassel it is, but have him change the pronunciation of his name from Fossil to Fau-SELL. It sounds sexier."
