Am I becoming an alcoholic?

[Yeagermeister]

Raging just like Sarge :laugh1:

 

[bounce]

Regardless of whether or not you fall under the subjective term of an 'alcoholic,' if your wife is concerned and thinks you're going down a bad path -- then cut back, or stop altogether.

If it's something that bothers your wife, and stopping drinking isn't that important to you, then don't die on that hill. Don't fight that fight just to win. If it (drinking) IS something that's important to you and you won't give it up for your wife, then it may have more of a grip on you than you know.

 

[Shunpike]

Thanks bounce.

Just an update

It is Friday night and normally this is my drinking night. I buy some appetizers on my way home, put the kids to sleep and drink 4-5 beers before I go to sleep.

Apparently I am craving beer. I am thinking about how I can fill the void. My Friday nights are mostly enjoying beer with appetizers and watching movie with my wife.

So what I am thinking now is if I am craving beer, I probably am on my way to becoming an alcoholic. Thank God my wife intervened on time and made me think about it. And thanks to all of you who commented about this topic.

One more time, much appreciated.

 

[muck4doo]

Thanks bounce.

Just an update

It is Friday night and normally this is my drinking night. I buy some appetizers on my way home, put the kids to sleep and drink 4-5 beers before I go to sleep.

Apparently I am craving beer. I am thinking about how I can fill the void. My Friday nights are mostly enjoying beer with appetizers and watching movie with my wife.

So what I am thinking now is if I am craving beer, I probably am on my way to becoming an alcoholic. Thank God my wife intervened on time and made me think about it. And thanks to all of you who commented about this topic.

One more time, much appreciated.

It hasn't always worked for me, but try eating a big meal instead. If you are a big drinker, it won't leave as much room. Doesn't always work with liquor.

 

[jobberone]

Thanks bounce.

Just an update

It is Friday night and normally this is my drinking night. I buy some appetizers on my way home, put the kids to sleep and drink 4-5 beers before I go to sleep.

Apparently I am craving beer. I am thinking about how I can fill the void. My Friday nights are mostly enjoying beer with appetizers and watching movie with my wife.

So what I am thinking now is if I am craving beer, I probably am on my way to becoming an alcoholic. Thank God my wife intervened on time and made me think about it. And thanks to all of you who commented about this topic.

One more time, much appreciated.

A last piece of advice. Get into AA as soon as possible and invite the wife to Alanon.

 

[goshan]

Man you guys need to lighten up. 15 total drinks a week (3 days a week) and more than half you guys are telling the guy he should enroll in AA.

Yeah you may crave a beer because it relaxes you and its something you look forward to.


FROM WIKIPEDIA:
Alcoholism is a broad term for problems with alcohol, and is generally used to mean compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcoholic beverages, usually to the detriment of the drinker's health, personal relationships, and social standing.

Are you exhibiting uncontrolled consumption? And dude, go back an ask your wife why she thinks you are becoming an alcoholic. Are you getting belligerent? Is it changing your personality? Are you slacking off? That is the key question to ask.

If you can't pinpoint a problem or definitive change (for the negative) it has created in your life, then you are probably ok. Its all about maintaining control...15 beers a week is not that much quantity.

 

[muck4doo]

Man you guys need to lighten up. 15 total drinks a week (3 days a week) and more than half you guys are telling the guy he should enroll in AA.

Yeah you may crave a beer because it relaxes you and its something you look forward to.


FROM WIKIPEDIA:
Alcoholism is a broad term for problems with alcohol, and is generally used to mean compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcoholic beverages, usually to the detriment of the drinker's health, personal relationships, and social standing.

Are you exhibiting uncontrolled consumption? And dude, go back an ask your wife why she thinks you are becoming an alcoholic. Are you getting belligerent? Is it changing your personality? Are you slacking off? That is the key question to ask.

If you can't pinpoint a problem or definitive change (for the negative) it has created in your life, then you are probably ok. Its all about maintaining control...15 beers a week is not that much quantity.

It's not matter of how many you have, or how often. It's a matter of is it causing problems or not.

 

[Smith22]

It's not matter of how many you have, or how often. It's a matter of is it causing problems or not.

and he stated that:

usually to the detriment of the drinker's health, personal relationships, and social standing.

 

[Shunpike]

Are you exhibiting uncontrolled consumption? And dude, go back an ask your wife why she thinks you are becoming an alcoholic. Are you getting belligerent? Is it changing your personality? Are you slacking off? That is the key question to ask.

Hi goshan.

According to her I am not showing any change in my behaviors and personality. She just wanted to point to my increased amount of beer consumption over the years and wanted me to look into this. And this is what I am doing right now. I am not calling myself an alcoholic or even a heavy drinker. As many on this topic suggested, if there is a path for alcoholics, I am on that path. I am now convinced that if I don't somehow change, I will be on my way to become alcoholic in the long run.

And I understand what jobberone tries to tell me by suggesting AA. It is better to tackle the issue when it is small before it becomes a bigger issue. I don't feel ready to go to AA meetings yet but if I can't control myself in the next 30 days I will be seeking professional help.

Thanks for commenting on the topic. I value your opinion.

 

[jobberone]

That's not the main point. You are or are not an alcoholic. Going to AA not only gets you rolling towards not drinking but if you have a problem that's causing the drinking then you'll probably find it eventually. You'll have support and you'll be surrounded by people like yourself and people who know for sure they are alcoholics and have the experience to help you no matter what but especially if you're an alcoholic. There are many people who join AA and find out they aren't alcoholics. Working a 12 step program is not a bad thing whether you are or aren't an alcoholic as well. But you're the one who needs to make that decision. I wish you nothing but the best.

 

[Shunpike]

Thanks my friend. I wasn't very knowledgable about AA but from what you are saying it will definitely help me. I will try to find more about AA and act accordingly

 

[Hoofbite]

It's not matter of how many you have, or how often. It's a matter of is it causing problems or not.

This is pretty much it.

Different amounts can result in different outcomes for different people.

If it starts spilling over into different facets of your life, then you're getting a problem.

Little OT but I've heard that some people who deal with alcoholics or deal with people in general in terms of health, counseling or whatever take reported amounts of drinking to be about 1/3rd of actual consumption because people often underreport their consumption be it intentionally or not.

 

[Muhast]

A last piece of advice. Get into AA as soon as possible and invite the wife to Alanon.

That's not the main point. You are or are not an alcoholic. Going to AA not only gets you rolling towards not drinking but if you have a problem that's causing the drinking then you'll probably find it eventually. You'll have support and you'll be surrounded by people like yourself and people who know for sure they are alcoholics and have the experience to help you no matter what but especially if you're an alcoholic. There are many people who join AA and find out they aren't alcoholics. Working a 12 step program is not a bad thing whether you are or aren't an alcoholic as well. But you're the one who needs to make that decision. I wish you nothing but the best.

Strongly agree. Goto 1 meeting. Just tell yourself "Ya know what, I'm going to invest an hour and a half into this". Goto the meeting, listen to some of the stories. You may go and feel like you don't belong there, and you don't need it because your not "like them", but I'm willing to bet when you walk out the door you will find you have a lot more in common with a lot of them. You'll see teachers,managers,executives,parents,grandparents,soccer moms and all different groups of people that either have a problem, are starting to get there, or supporting a family member.

I got a DUI when I first turned 21. I was pulled over after having 3 beers, and blew right at the limit but still got a DUI. I felt like I was being punished for something that wasn't even that bad etc. I was ordered to probation and attending AA meetings, but it actually changed my life. At first i felt like I wasn't that bad, and that the other people had a problem, not me. And that I could control it. I considered myself a social drinker, and while I didn't drink daily, when I did drink, it was binge drinking. After going to the first few meetings and getting the stigma of being at alnon out of my head, I started to actually hear what the people were saying. I heard about the things that transpired in their lives and how it affected everyone that they knew and it just finally sunk in. I was being reckless(drinking more than I should in a single outing. Feeling like I could drive when I obviously shouldnt) thinking I was just being a normal college kid, but whether I was naive or thought I was invincible, it just never sunk in how much damage I could potentially do to myself or others. I changed my life after that, got rid of bad influences, matured, took responsibility for my action. I went to more than I was ordered to, and learned from it. I have talked to, and helped several of my friends with the same issues now. My life has done a complete 180 since then. I am so much happier now than I ever was before, and I am at peace now. Those people really helped me, and I think it would be worth at least going to 1.

That was my lesson from it, you may go and learn something completely different, but it really did change my life. Best wishes to you, and good for you for heeding your wifes word!

 

[Hoofbite]

Thanks my friend. I wasn't very knowledgable about AA but from what you are saying it will definitely help me. I will try to find more about AA and act accordingly

You'll probably go to your first meeting and immediately conclude that you aren't an alcoholic because you'll hear some horror stories that are likely levels of addiction beyond what you personally know. Many of the people in AA who are young are there not by choice and many of the people who are old are there after the bottom has fallen out. Lots of really tough stuff gets aired out in those meetings but I would suggest that you not get turned off by the horror stories you hear because typically those who share are the one's who really feel they need to be there to conquer their addiction.

Also, depending on the impact it has had on your family members you might look into Al-Anon. It's the group geared towards families and friends of those who are struggling with addiction.

No matter the conclusion you arrive at, I think you're making some pretty solid steps. Being cognizant of a potential problem is a pretty huge step. From people that I know, most didn't get there until well beyond 15 beers per week.

Try the 30 day break. You'll probably shed a few pounds and you'll be able to look back on the situation with a clear mind.

 

[Hoofbite]

A last piece of advice. Get into AA as soon as possible and invite the wife to Alanon.

Didn't see this at the time but thoroughly agree.

 

[rynochop]

Really, AA for someone that likes a few beers on the weekend? He's the definition of a social drinker. If the wife doesn't like it then that's between you and her. But certainly no alcoholic, by definition. I have a family member that can and will eat a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting and is morbidly obese, but anyone that drinks a few beers has a huge problem.
I also know people that have gone to AA just for attention.

 

[muck4doo]

Really, AA for someone that likes a few beers on the weekend? He's the definition of a social drinker. If the wife doesn't like it then that's between you and her. But certainly no alcoholic, by definition. I have a family member that can and will eat a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting and is morbidly obese, but anyone that drinks a few beers has a huge problem.
I also know people that have gone to AA just for attention.

Certainly sounds like no problem. He should just keep it up, and put her in her place.

 

[ologan]

Strongly agree. Goto 1 meeting. Just tell yourself "Ya know what, I'm going to invest an hour and a half into this". Goto the meeting, listen to some of the stories. You may go and feel like you don't belong there, and you don't need it because your not "like them", but I'm willing to bet when you walk out the door you will find you have a lot more in common with a lot of them. You'll see teachers,managers,executives,parents,grandparents,soccer moms and all different groups of people that either have a problem, are starting to get there, or supporting a family member.

I got a DUI when I first turned 21. I was pulled over after having 3 beers, and blew right at the limit but still got a DUI. I felt like I was being punished for something that wasn't even that bad etc. I was ordered to probation and attending AA meetings, but it actually changed my life. At first i felt like I wasn't that bad, and that the other people had a problem, not me. And that I could control it. I considered myself a social drinker, and while I didn't drink daily, when I did drink, it was binge drinking. After going to the first few meetings and getting the stigma of being at alnon out of my head, I started to actually hear what the people were saying. I heard about the things that transpired in their lives and how it affected everyone that they knew and it just finally sunk in. I was being reckless(drinking more than I should in a single outing. Feeling like I could drive when I obviously shouldnt) thinking I was just being a normal college kid, but whether I was naive or thought I was invincible, it just never sunk in how much damage I could potentially do to myself or others. I changed my life after that, got rid of bad influences, matured, took responsibility for my action. I went to more than I was ordered to, and learned from it. I have talked to, and helped several of my friends with the same issues now. My life has done a complete 180 since then. I am so much happier now than I ever was before, and I am at peace now. Those people really helped me, and I think it would be worth at least going to 1.

That was my lesson from it, you may go and learn something completely different, but it really did change my life. Best wishes to you, and good for you for heeding your wifes word!

 

[MapleLeaf]

I was a non drinker up until 2004. Started drinking a few beers every other week.

Now I am drinking around 12-14 beers weekly.

I don't drink everyday. I mostly drink on Friday's and Saturday's and on Sunday's during football season. I don't drink more than 5 beers at a time and my weekly consumption is always below 15 beers a week.

My wife thinks I am becoming an alcoholic.

What is your take on this issue?

...litmus test I use to define addictive behaviors?

Is your decision for a drink your desire or not? If it is your desire and not some other variable such as a social situation can you turn it off and control in whatever fashion you or a love one wants.

Ex. You get a Friday beer take two sips and say "Nah not today." Or you come home for the weekend from work and you say it's not important to buy alcohol for the house. Or it's been four months since your last drink and you go out to a friends for a BBQ and you only have one beer and quit.

Basically are you in control to stop and start and the amount in the container or the situation or the friends or the day doesn't influence your decison on how much alcohol you choose to consume.

If you can say "yes" to all I have stated I don't think you have a problem with alcohol. If you say "no" to one of those maybe you need to drill down deeper and ask yourself why you can't say, "Yes I can do that".

 

[5Stars]

I'm an alcoholic and a bad driver, so I joined AA and AAA.

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