Englishmen, take notice

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,901
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
OK, I've been making fun of our folks across the pond about losing the war, c'mon, little red jackets, playing a drum and marching in a straight line, what'd ya expect? And probably too many 'teeth" jokes, I know I pissed off one member so I don't do that anymore...…...in his threads. But I have been especially bad about ragging on their food.

Well, I must apologize now. There is a small food store chain in Texas, owned by the HEB chain, called Central Market. They are legendary with their offerings and will soon be offering 40 different varieties of apples and are well known for having produce that evokes "what the hell is that and what do I do with it"? from many patrons. During the holidays, you can see people giving their families guided tours through one of the stores in Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin,. Houston or San Antonio. They are the ones credited with the term "Foodies". They created the first Earth Muffins in Texas and inspired Whole Foods.

They have a weekly special pub called Weekly Savor and have saluted countries like France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Mexico and now, England. If they can recognize England as a large village of Foodies, who am I to argue? They should have a Foodieshire. I am, therefore, pulling food from the joke vault and will cease to make fun of their food. Teeth and the war are still on the menu.

Here, just for you, my brothers of a different mother but I ain't calling her Mum, is proof you indeed have food. I, humbly, apologize for my wretched behavior with regards to your victuals. Notice the lamb's haggis and yours truly's restraint. Who says an old dog can't pick up some tricks, uh, learn some new tricks.

https://centralmarket.com/weekly-savor-austin-westgate/
 
Last edited:

Londonboy

Well-Known Member
Messages
4,793
Reaction score
10,365
OK, I've been making fun of our folks across the pond about losing the war, c'mon, little red jackets, playing a drum and marching in a straight line, what'd ya expect? And probably too many 'teeth" jokes, I know I pissed off one member so I don't do that anymore...…...in his threads. But I have been especially bad about ragging on their food.

Well, I must apologize now. There is a small food store chain in Texas, owned by the HEB chain, called Central Market. They are legendary with their offerings and will soon be offering 40 different varieties of apples and are well known for having produce that evokes "what the hell is that and what do I do with it"? from many patrons. During the holidays, you can see people giving their families guided tours through one of the stores in Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin,. Houston or San Antonio. They are the ones credited with the term "Foodies". They created the first Earth Muffins in Texas and inspired Whole Foods.

They have a weekly special pub called Weekly Savor and have saluted countries like france, Germany, Italy, Spain, Mexico and now, England. If they can recognize England as a large village of Foodies, who am I to argue? They should have a Foodieshire. I am, therefore, pulling food from the joke vault and will cease to make fun of their food. Teeth and the war are still on the menu.

Here, just for you, my brothers of a different mother but I ain't calling her Mum, is proof you indeed have food. I, humbly, apologize for my wretched behavior with regards to your victuals. Notice the lamb's haggis and yours truly's restraint. Who says an old dog can't pick up some tricks, uh, learn some new tricks.

https://centralmarket.com/weekly-savor-austin-westgate/
france, Italy, Mexico and Spain I can understand, but Germany? really? it's the only country in Europe whose cuisine is generally acknowledged to be worse than Ours.
I'll take Spotted Dick, Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole over Sauerkraut and Pumpernickel (which translates as Fart Goblin) every time.
 

Xelda

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,240
Reaction score
17,925
OK, I've been making fun of our folks across the pond about losing the war, c'mon, little red jackets, playing a drum and marching in a straight line, what'd ya expect? And probably too many 'teeth" jokes, I know I pissed off one member so I don't do that anymore...…...in his threads. But I have been especially bad about ragging on their food.

Well, I must apologize now. There is a small food store chain in Texas, owned by the HEB chain, called Central Market. They are legendary with their offerings and will soon be offering 40 different varieties of apples and are well known for having produce that evokes "what the hell is that and what do I do with it"? from many patrons. During the holidays, you can see people giving their families guided tours through one of the stores in Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin,. Houston or San Antonio. They are the ones credited with the term "Foodies". They created the first Earth Muffins in Texas and inspired Whole Foods.

They have a weekly special pub called Weekly Savor and have saluted countries like France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Mexico and now, England. If they can recognize England as a large village of Foodies, who am I to argue? They should have a Foodieshire. I am, therefore, pulling food from the joke vault and will cease to make fun of their food. Teeth and the war are still on the menu.

Here, just for you, my brothers of a different mother but I ain't calling her Mum, is proof you indeed have food. I, humbly, apologize for my wretched behavior with regards to your victuals. Notice the lamb's haggis and yours truly's restraint. Who says an old dog can't pick up some tricks, uh, learn some new tricks.

https://centralmarket.com/weekly-savor-austin-westgate/
I'd like to say on behalf of everyone in the forums from the US...HUH? Did you get hit on the head? A nasty fall? Probed by aliens? Possessed by evil spirits? When does Coach apologize for something this subjective? I don't know who you are, but untie Coach and leave his house immediately before we notify the authorities!
france, Italy, Mexico and Spain I can understand, but Germany? really? it's the only country in Europe whose cuisine is generally acknowledged to be worse than Ours.
I'll take Spotted Dick, Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole over Sauerkraut and Pumpernickel (which translates as Fart Goblin) every time.
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!!!. Easy Londy. Half your food sounds not family friendly and the other half sounds straight up nasty. Is this Monty Python humor? Nobody here would order a Fart Goblin Special even if it's $4.99 at Denny's.
 

Londonboy

Well-Known Member
Messages
4,793
Reaction score
10,365
I'd like to say on behalf of everyone in the forums from the US...HUH? Did you get hit on the head? A nasty fall? Probed by aliens? Possessed by evil spirits? When does Coach apologize for something this subjective? I don't know who you are, but untie Coach and leave his house immediately before we notify the authorities!

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!!!. Easy Londy. Half your food sounds not family friendly and the other half sounds straight up nasty. Is this Monty Python humor? Nobody here would order a Fart Goblin Special even if it's $4.99 at Denny's.
Nope, all of those are genuine (and tasty) English classics and the English translation for Pumpernickel is indeed Fart Goblin.
 

kskboys

Well-Known Member
Messages
44,400
Reaction score
47,280
I'd like to say on behalf of everyone in the forums from the US...HUH? Did you get hit on the head? A nasty fall? Probed by aliens? Possessed by evil spirits? When does Coach apologize for something this subjective? I don't know who you are, but untie Coach and leave his house immediately before we notify the authorities!

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!!!. Easy Londy. Half your food sounds not family friendly and the other half sounds straight up nasty. Is this Monty Python humor? Nobody here would order a Fart Goblin Special even if it's $4.99 at Denny's.
Nobody? Did you mean to say everybody?
 

Cowboy Brian

@BrianLINY
Messages
15,864
Reaction score
5,053
france, Italy, Mexico and Spain I can understand, but Germany? really? it's the only country in Europe whose cuisine is generally acknowledged to be worse than Ours.
I'll take Spotted Dick, Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole over Sauerkraut and Pumpernickel (which translates as Fart Goblin) every time.
As a 100% German-Jewish American, I disagree entirely.
 

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,901
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
I'd like to say on behalf of everyone in the forums from the US...HUH? Did you get hit on the head? A nasty fall? Probed by aliens? Possessed by evil spirits? When does Coach apologize for something this subjective? I don't know who you are, but untie Coach and leave his house immediately before we notify the authorities!

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!!!. Easy Londy. Half your food sounds not family friendly and the other half sounds straight up nasty. Is this Monty Python humor? Nobody here would order a Fart Goblin Special even if it's $4.99 at Denny's.
What if it's the authorities that have me restrained?
 

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,901
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
france, Italy, Mexico and Spain I can understand, but Germany? really? it's the only country in Europe whose cuisine is generally acknowledged to be worse than Ours.
I'll take Spotted Dick, Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole over Sauerkraut and Pumpernickel (which translates as Fart Goblin) every time.
At least the Germans don't allow the sexually frustrated to name their food.
 

Londonboy

Well-Known Member
Messages
4,793
Reaction score
10,365
Bickits, they're little bickits and they call their sausages "bangers" and all their metal heads have to take them to concerts. Prompting the lovely lasses to ask "is that a banger in your pocket or are you just glad to see me"?
Crumpets are hard to describe, but They're more bread than biscuit (though They're not really bread either).
You toast 'em and slather 'em with butter.....deeeelicious
 

Runwildboys

Confused about stuff
Messages
50,368
Reaction score
94,337
CowboysZone DIEHARD Fan
If the authorities acquire Mr. Grand Poobah, the crown jewel in our PGJ, we must fall on the mercy of @Streetwise and his connections. Don't make his job harder by sassing your arresting officer.
No, no. @DeathMonkey......err......Dreadhonkey is our black ops agent. If the Grand Poobah is being restrained (against his will, that is), we'll send our best man to the rescue...........or in this case, Dreadhonkey.
 
Top