Reverend Conehead
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Why does Dak sometimes look like an excellent quarterback, but other times he looks like a scrub who doesn't belong in the NFL? I think the answer is obvious. Dak is actually two different men who are identical twins. One of them is an excellent quarterback; the other one is unfit to play in the CFL. Scrub-Dak played against the 49ers, and then we've had Good-Dak ever since then. For reasons I don't understand, it's always Scrub-Dak who plays the 49ers, especially in the playoffs. Good-Dak has been playing great. We need to keep him under center and refuse to let his brother back.
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Unless anyone else has a better explanation, this is what must be true. The quarterback we know as "Dak" is actually a pair of identical twin brothers. What else could explain his going from playing great to playing terrible and back again? He looks like two different quarterbacks, because he actually IS two different men. In his rookie year, we only had Good-Dak. Unfortunately, after that, he got feeling generous and started sharing duties with his brother, the lousy quarterback.
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It's admirable that Good-Dak loves his brother enough to be willing to share the spotlight with him, but enough is enough. I want to keep this good version of Dak and not let the other one come back. We can let Scrub-Dak take charge of the stadium's concession stand.
...
Unless anyone else has a better explanation, this is what must be true. The quarterback we know as "Dak" is actually a pair of identical twin brothers. What else could explain his going from playing great to playing terrible and back again? He looks like two different quarterbacks, because he actually IS two different men. In his rookie year, we only had Good-Dak. Unfortunately, after that, he got feeling generous and started sharing duties with his brother, the lousy quarterback.
...
It's admirable that Good-Dak loves his brother enough to be willing to share the spotlight with him, but enough is enough. I want to keep this good version of Dak and not let the other one come back. We can let Scrub-Dak take charge of the stadium's concession stand.