I hate to post something so personal but support is needed

Discussion in 'Members Zone' started by cowboy_ron, Apr 18, 2020.

  1. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Well-Known Member

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    I am sure Ron will be back as soon as his head begins to clear. I went through it but I had a year to prepare for it and was still a basket case and unable to fix on one thought but if I did, that was the only thought I could focus on. It truly becomes a one foot in front of the other existence for a while.

    This was unexpected and I can only imagine the additional overwhelming effect of that. I do believe that takes some additional time to deal with that part of it.

    Ron, even if it's difficult to respond right now, you are in our hearts. Just know this, wherever you are right now, that is temporary. I know it feels as if life has ended and the grief is so strong that it's hard to breathe but that will subside in time. One thing that kept me going was repeating to myself, even out loud, "what would she want me to do"? I fixed myself on that over and over and it helped.
    Jake, Runwildboys, John813 and 5 others like this.
  2. Diehardblues

    Diehardblues Well-Known Member

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    I’m sorry I’m just now reading this. My heart goes out to you in this time of mourning. Hopefully you have some children or family you can lean on getting through this.
    kskboys, Jake, cowboy_ron and 2 others like this.
  3. Londonboy

    Londonboy Well-Known Member

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    My heart goes out to You Ron, stay strong Brother.
  4. nightrain

    nightrain Since 1971

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    Very sorry your Wife passed, Ron. Wishing peace and comfort for you and your family. May your Wife rest in peace.
  5. cowboy_ron

    cowboy_ron You Can't Fix Stupid

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    Thanks nightrain, I really appreciate it.
  6. JW82

    JW82 JJ21

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    wow. That is just terrible Ron. So very sorry for your loss. My wife and I are best friends, we have no kids and are inseparable. That thought is just a nightmare. Please take care of yourself and be sure to know, it's OK to have happiness as she would want that for you. Sending a prayer brother.
    Jake, Runwildboys, Xelda and 2 others like this.
  7. HotDog37

    HotDog37 Well-Known Member

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    Unfortutately I know how you feel a bit and I am sorry to hear this. Time. Just time.
    Jake, Runwildboys, CouchCoach and 4 others like this.
  8. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member

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    Well put sir. I've been through this and that's honestly the only thing I know for sure. Time.

    That got me thinking. Another thing is trying to learn to go on and live without them physically, while honoring and savoring all the memories.
    Xelda, Jake, Londonboy and 2 others like this.
  9. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Well-Known Member

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    G, I agree but one must be careful with time and not just wait on that as I did. I, emotionally and mentally, stayed in one place and time could only stand still with me. It can be a friend but it needs help to do it's work.

    Humans are social creatures, we are built to lean on each other and not go through the hardships alone. I didn't get that. I thought I was a lot stronger that I was. And in thinking that, I actually became weaker.

    I didn't realize, and I hope Ron realizes this well before I did, that time was there right with me, begging me to move, to not stand still in one place to long because the darkness likes the lack of motion. Using time is the path to the light. And there are time guides available to us.
    Xelda, Jake, Londonboy and 1 other person like this.
  10. Big_D

    Big_D Well-Known Member

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    Very sorry for your loss Ron!
  11. Oz-of-Cowboy-Country

    Oz-of-Cowboy-Country Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss, Ron. I wish I had the right words, just know...You and your love ones will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  12. Corso

    Corso Offseason mode... sleepy time

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    My good friend... I am destroyed for you. I'm offering my number also.
    So much love I'm trying to send your way.

    You can call me a year from now at 3 in the morning. I don't care, my line is open.
    Last edited: May 28, 2020
  13. cowboy_ron

    cowboy_ron You Can't Fix Stupid

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    Corso, I wish I could put into words how much your reaching out to me means to me. I've pretty much lost interest and the drive in everything. I thought it would improve much quicker than it has but I was wrong. The VA has been really good to me they call me every other day if not everyday.

    I still look in here occasionally but my interest level is really low. Hopefully it'll get higher as the season heard.

    Thanks again for your concern, I left my # on your VM.
    Xelda, Captain-Crash, Jake and 5 others like this.
  14. Corso

    Corso Offseason mode... sleepy time

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    Saw it! I was cooking. So sorry. Not even done! Call you in the morrow, my friend.
    Looking forward to it.
    Xelda, Londonboy and Runwildboys like this.
  15. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Well-Known Member

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    Allow yourself some time, ron. I knew a year ahead what was going to happen and still I was paralyzed for almost two years. Your loss was sudden and I think that carries it's own special healing needs.

    I expected to get better sooner as well but I don't know why, there is no template for the pain of loss. Stay as strong as you can.
    Xelda, Londonboy and Runwildboys like this.
  16. Furboy

    Furboy Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear that my friend. I'm so sorry. I will be praying for you. Please feel free to talk to me if you would like to do so.
  17. John813

    John813 Well-Known Member

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    My god, that's terrible. At first I though it was bad news about your surgery, but I didn't expect this.
    My condolences.

    What you're feeling is normal. You lost someone you loved deeply.
    There's nothing that can be said to make you feel better or snap out of it. It's something that will take time to learn to accept and slowly develop a new normal.
  18. Ranching

    Ranching Well-Known Member

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    Haven't been on the board much and don't foresee coming back for a while. That said, I just read your post and wanted to express my condolences. God bless.
  19. Jake

    Jake Curmudgeon

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    Somehow I'm just now seeing this thread. I haven't had much luck with marriages so I can only imagine the grief you feel. Looks like there are others here who can relate.

    My condolences to all of you. It's one thing to have never had something, it's quite another to have it and then lose it.
  20. TexasBoys2288

    TexasBoys2288 Zone Supporter

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    I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of someone we love is heart wrenching and so difficult to deal with. But know this, you have many on this forum that care and stand beside you. God bless you, Ron, my heart goes out to you.

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