Is anybody really happy?

im happy as can be i love life and all that it entails. Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind dont matter and people who matter dont mind
 
I understand & kind of there now myself. Like someone else said it is just a storm. Trouble don't last always. Keep you head up, just keep keeping on there is a brighter day ahead. Don't give up or give in, your time will come and you win this battle. Much prayer for you.
 
JonJon;2870736 said:
I think I've forgotten what happiness feels like. I used to be the overly-optimistic guy that always smiled no matter what with dreams of promises and even better days ahead. Those days are long gone and seem so far away.

Now, I don't even know what it's like to be really happy anymore. I mean, I can put on a good show with the best of them, but I'm just lying to myself and everyone else. My smile is now forced and my nights are spent awake wondering if my pain will ever end and if I will ever be happy again. I doubt it though. I see no solution for what troubles me. Your heart can only take so much before it gives up, and I'm just about to that point. It's rough...really rough...and sad. Maybe theres someone out there that can give me hope. Tell me you've found happiness and maybe "I can convince myself to hope for the same thing. Go ahead and bring out the violins if you want, but I am serious. I think I am near the end of my ropes.
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The rule I learned over a... well, hard life was that if you're not happy with something. Change it. No matter how hard it is. It just isn't worth it if it makes you unhappy.

I'm now pretty successful, I work in New York City, I live in Connecticut near the water (Long Island Sound) in a beautiful city full of trees and almost zero crime rate. I'm generally quite happy now. There are a few things that aren't so great, but I fully intend to change that which makes me unhappy.

The point is, don't suffer and dwell on what makes you unhappy, throw out what is ailing you. Even if it's a woman you *think* you love. If she is making you miserable, then she isn't the woman for you! (or guy! :laugh2: )
 
I've been there before a time or two. Asking myself what's the point? Why do I get out of bed? Why bother?

The thing that always brings me back are the simple things. I take a look at my kids and see what true beauty and simplicity is. Maybe you don't have kids, but you have pets. Take moment and bask in their unflinching love for you. Go for a hike and enjoy the beauty of nature. Go to the beach and watch a sunset. Take a drive down to your local "bad part of town" and realize what it TRULY means to be in bad shape.

We all choose our dispostion. When live deals you a sack of crap, you can look at it as a crushing blow or a minor setback. You can blame the gods or you can ask yourself what you could hae done differently and decide to do it differently going forward.

I think you've taken a big first step which is talking about it. Now find someone you trust and talk to them about it in person. Someone at church, a close friend, a shrink. Someone who will listen while you let it all out. Sometimes that's all it takes, and sometimes that person can see it differently and offer you some perspective.

Hang in there bro, it's always darkest before the dawn...
 
theogt;2871048 said:
kittens-orange-large.jpg
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:lmao2:
 
Every person on the planet (well sane people) live in three states of being.

1. Worry = living in the future

2. Guilt = living in the past

3. Or the present = living for today, right now as you read this


If you live in Worry, there is nothing you can do about it, so stop worrying because you cannot tell what the future holds.

If you live in Guilt, you are living in the past over something that has happened that you cannot change, ever! It's over! So stop feeling guilty about something, or feeling sorry for yourself.

If you live in the Present...like RIGHT NOW as the time goes by, then you will see exactely what is going on around you...right now! Not tommorrow, not yesterday...live for right now. That is all you can do! And, it's good for you...

One thing about living in the future (worry) is that you don't need to worry about tomorrow, BUT you can make plans for the future. If something is bothering you, plan how to get yourself out of the situation...but, don't worry about what might happen...you cannot predict that.

Live for the moment...look around you, see the value that life has given you and live for moment!

Don't live in the past, and don't live in the future...it never works.

If something is bothering you or scaring you...forget about it. If it happend in the past it's over. And we cannot tell what happens in the next few minutes...so cheer up and live for the moment....

Good luck...
 
5Stars;2872163 said:
Every person on the planet (well sane people) live in three states of being.

1. Worry = living in the future

2. Guilt = living in the past

3. Or the present = living for today, right now as you read this


If you live in Worry, there is nothing you can do about it, so stop worrying because you cannot tell what the future holds.

If you live in Guilt, you are living in the past over something that has happened that you cannot change, ever! It's over! So stop feeling guilty about something, or feeling sorry for yourself.

If you live in the Present...like RIGHT NOW as the time goes by, then you will see exactely what is going on around you...right now! Not tommorrow, not yesterday...live for right now. That is all you can do! And, it's good for you...

One thing about living in the future (worry) is that you don't need to worry about tomorrow, BUT you can make plans for the future. If something is bothering you, plan how to get yourself out of the situation...but, don't worry about what might happen...you cannot predict that.

Live for the moment...look around you, see the value that life has given you and live for moment!

Don't live in the past, and don't live in the future...it never works.

If something is bothering you or scaring you...forget about it. If it happend in the past it's over. And we cannot tell what happens in the next few minutes...so cheer up and live for the moment....

Good luck...
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That's really good advice about the past. I've done and said things that still bug me to this day.
 
JonJon;2870736 said:
I think I've forgotten what happiness feels like. I used to be the overly-optimistic guy that always smiled no matter what with dreams of promises and even better days ahead. Those days are long gone and seem so far away.

Now, I don't even know what it's like to be really happy anymore. I mean, I can put on a good show with the best of them, but I'm just lying to myself and everyone else. My smile is now forced and my nights are spent awake wondering if my pain will ever end and if I will ever be happy again. I doubt it though. I see no solution for what troubles me. Your heart can only take so much before it gives up, and I'm just about to that point. It's rough...really rough...and sad. Maybe theres someone out there that can give me hope. Tell me you've found happiness and maybe "I can convince myself to hope for the same thing. Go ahead and bring out the violins if you want, but I am serious. I think I am near the end of my ropes.
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PM me. I know something that will will help out tremendously.
 
Jon88;2872178 said:
That's really good advice about the past. I've done and said things that still bug me to this day.
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Fug it about it...it's over. Done!

;)


Living with guilt is the downfall of a lot of people...and, some people will not even try new things because they worry about what might happen! Like the guy or girl that does not want to approach a person that they might like...they are scared of what might happen! Rejection? :D

So what...it's still fun...
 
This probably won't help you, JJ, but in my 57 years on this planet, I have come to believe that life is a pendulum, constantly swinging from the good times to the bad times...

So my philosophy is to hang on for all you're worth in the bad times, have faith that they'll eventually come to an end... then enjoy the good times just as much as you possibly can...

Generally, the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train...

IOW, hang tough... that's all you can do, unless you really are willing to give up... and if you do that, who knows what great stuff that might be coming your way you'll wind up missing??
 
A bit disturbing that this was the guy's last post here.
 
JonJon;2870736 said:
I think I've forgotten what happiness feels like. I used to be the overly-optimistic guy that always smiled no matter what with dreams of promises and even better days ahead. Those days are long gone and seem so far away.

Now, I don't even know what it's like to be really happy anymore. I mean, I can put on a good show with the best of them, but I'm just lying to myself and everyone else. My smile is now forced and my nights are spent awake wondering if my pain will ever end and if I will ever be happy again. I doubt it though. I see no solution for what troubles me. Your heart can only take so much before it gives up, and I'm just about to that point. It's rough...really rough...and sad. Maybe theres someone out there that can give me hope. Tell me you've found happiness and maybe "I can convince myself to hope for the same thing. Go ahead and bring out the violins if you want, but I am serious. I think I am near the end of my ropes.
Click to expand...



Contrary to some people's beliefs. We control very little of what goes on in our lives.

BUT... one thing you have total control over is what you do for yourself.

Start with this:

What ABSOLUTELY "moves" you. For example, for me, it is music. I put on some good tunes and it works just about every time.

It doesnt sound like much but music can change your mood.



On a side: Sometimes when something or many things are bothering you - you have to make a list of those things and say which ones are really worth that space in my head. You will find that not much is worth the space in your head - so just go with what makes you feel good.

People can lie to others... people can lie to themselves but at the end of the day = if you are really honest with yourself, when something TRULY makes you feel good = that is real. Go with real.
 
theogt;2870745 said:
Grill yourself a steak, drink a beer, and eat some raw cookie dough fro dessert. Should solve most problems.
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Sound advice right there.
 
Identify several small things/activities that you enjoy and put your mind to making them happen more often.

Finding ways to help others is often useful too.

If that doesn't work, consult an expert. Don't get caught up in whether you "need help." That's not the relevant question.

The relevant question is whether you deserve expert assistance - and that answer is obviously "yes."
 
My advice would be to take up a hobby,one that will have you get
involved with other people that share your interest.I hadn't played my drums
in over 20 years and i got back to practicing and now i do it for hours every
day.I started to jam with others and found myself happier than i have been
in years.Good luck to you.
 
theogt;2872552 said:
A bit disturbing that this was the guy's last post here.
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Plus, Bob has been absent recently. That would qualify as less disturbing.
 
bbgun;2872841 said:
Plus, Bob has been absent recently. That would qualify as less disturbing.
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Yeah where is Bob. That's strange.
 
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