Is anybody really happy?

[peplaw06]

Yeah where is Bob. That's strange.

Don't ask that question. And if someone else says his name in this thread, that will be 3 times..... DON'T DO IT!!!

 

[theogt]

Plus, *** has been absent recently. That would qualify as less disturbing.

Ban hammer.

 

[daschoo]

Don't ask that question. And if someone else says his name in this thread, that will be 3 times..... DON'T DO IT!!!

so you don't want me to say bob?


oops

 

[ajk23az]

No offense or joking here but this thread actually makes me sad

 

[Mash]

Get some help my friend.......talk to someone......anybody.....let it out and let the people around you that love you help you.

Life is hard.......I dont know how old you are but the younger generation has it tough.

I lost my son in may.....he was 19........there isnt a day that goes by asking myself how I didnt see his depression. He kept everything in.

God Bless you brother........dont sweat the small stuff......my daughter had a great saying......keep positive and positive things will happen around you.

PM me if you ever need to talk

 

[theogt]

so you don't want me to say bob?


oops

See what you did?

http://cowboyszone.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2873014&postcount=148

 

[lewpac]

Whew..............................

Tough one.

It's difficult to respond w/o what exactly is so terrible about life that you just want to wave the white flag. Did a loved one die? No money, forclosure, bankruptcy? The wife leave?

Some things are indeed bigger than others, and no one person has the crystal ball to tell another person what is or isn't big enough to throw in the towel about.

The advice that I give is to eat, drink and be merry TODAY. Don't borrow upon what tomorrow's problems may or may not be. Tomorrows troubles? Deal with that tomorrow. Sometimes life gets down to day-by-day. I know that all the pundits want you to have a one year plan, a five year plan, a ten year plan, goals, etc................

But there are times you feel like a boxer on the ropes and just taking shot after shot after shot. No offense. Just covering-up and deflecting shots. But if you make it to the bell, you come out the next round. Again, blow after blow after blow, and all you can do is cover up. So, just make it to the end of THAT round too. Even if you lose THAT fight and make it to the end, you live to fight another day.

Sometimes, just "live to fight another day" is what we're reduced to. It sucks, but it's better than dead. I myself............................

I'm 49, married to the girl of my dreams, and have three perfect minor kids. I've been in business for 15 years. The first 12 years, everything we put our hands too came up roses. Great marriage, everyone healthy, lots of money.

The last 3 years, the wheels fell off. I got stiffed in 2006 for over $300,000.00. I got stiffed again last December for over $70,000.00, and that about put the nail in the coffin. I got 5 acres and a 4,000 sq. ft. home in Hawaii (and that's no small task in Hawaii) that's now in forclosure. Everything we worked our butts off for for 15 years is looking lost, all because I got in with the sharks.

I've been through EVERY emotion...........anger, rage, feeling sorry for myself, "why me", drinking, etc....................Finally, about a year ago, the ONLY thing that works is "WHATEVER". Anything else is insanity. I'm done with it. Whatever happens happens.

But, what's the worst that can happen? They come and take all your stuff? So what. I'll just build a better house on a bigger lot. Sounds all pie in the sky, but you gotta' think something right? If it's the WORST thing that has happened to me, I've had a blessed life.

Think along those lines. Think about what's the "worst" thing that can happen, and count backwards from there. I'm sure you'll find some blessings and some things to be thankfull for. Be thankfull. Don't covet. Don't think about the neighbor or the other guy. Think about how far you've come in this life-time and consider how much farther you've come than you every thought you would. Life has probably been better to you than what you thought it would be when you were a kid.

If not, I'll pray for you. But still, eat, drink and be merry TODAY!!

 

[silverbear]

Lew, you and me have had our arguments, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for what you're going through right now... I am, however, encouraged by the attitude you've shown in the face of it...

Keep on truckin', wild man...

 

[Bob Sacamano]

whatever you're going through, let it go and place it in the man upstair's hands...

 

[lewpac]

Lew, you and me have had our arguments, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for what you're going through right now... I am, however, encouraged by the attitude you've shown in the face of it...

Keep on truckin', wild man...

Thanks man.............

It's rough. The financials are one thing. A close second is the attack on your manhood, your dignity. The 30 years of "I'll take care of it", and now it ain't working anymore.

But, when you run with the big dogs, there's a dark side to it. It took 15 years to finally get stung, and it's no disco. What are ya' gonna' do? I signed up for 4 Million worth of work, and thought it was my retirement gig. Turns out, it put me under.

Oh well, win some, lose some. As long as I can look in the mirror and know that I did nothing untoward or dishonest or underhanded............

Still, it sucks. I don't know what the OP is going through. I'm sure it's valid to him. I got a lot of good that the Lord has blessed me with. Only thing, I ain't got no money. Just one thing. Money. Everything else is off the charts good. It just so happens that when the problem is money, it sucks all the air out of the room.

Just stay philosophical. My wife and kids are all good. I'll make that money again. I'm still young enough to rebound. I just finished a glass of wine and had mushroom pork chops for dinner. How bad can life be? I just thank God for all the good....................take the house.

 

[Jon88]

Thanks man.............

It's rough. The financials are one thing. A close second is the attack on your manhood, your dignity. The 30 years of "I'll take care of it", and now it ain't working anymore.

But, when you run with the big dogs, there's a dark side to it. It took 15 years to finally get stung, and it's no disco. What are ya' gonna' do? I signed up for 4 Million worth of work, and thought it was my retirement gig. Turns out, it put me under.

Oh well, win some, lose some. As long as I can look in the mirror and know that I did nothing untoward or dishonest or underhanded............

Still, it sucks. I don't know what the OP is going through. I'm sure it's valid to him. I got a lot of good that the Lord has blessed me with. Only thing, I ain't got no money. Just one thing. Money. Everything else is off the charts good. It just so happens that when the problem is money, it sucks all the air out of the room.

Just stay philosophical. My wife and kids are all good. I'll make that money again. I'm still young enough to rebound. I just finished a glass of wine and had mushroom pork chops for dinner. How bad can life be? I just thank God for all the good....................take the house.

That sucks. I thought you were a bartender. What kind of business are you in?

 

[lewpac]

Commercial/Industrial Painting Contractor................

That bartending stuff, that was back in my late teens/early 20's. I got into painting houses way back in the day just to supplement my income. One thing led to another, and another and another until this was what I did to make a living. Figured I might as well go for the gusto.

Things were great for a long time. I worked for others for about ten years, then started my business about 14 years ago. All it took was that one bad deal in '06 to start all this trouble. The recent economy didn't help trying to make up that loss, and then I got stiffed again last December like I said.

But I don't tell you all this to make this thread about me. The OP sounds like he's in a real dark place or in a really bad pickle. W/O knowing what the problem is, it's hard to respond. I only tell my story so that maybe he'll see that he's not in this alone out there. A lot of folks nowadays are hurting in one way, shape, form or anthor.

I hear that all the time when folks hear my story. "Dude, a lot of people are hurting too, many worse off than you". Yeah, there's some weird and morbid comfort in that I suppose. But I don't rejoice in others misfortunes either. At the end of the day, the fact that "you're not alone" doesn't put beans on the table.

I'm just thankful that my marriage, despite our financials, is probably stronger than ever. And the kids, God bless 'em are doing great. Really, other than this pickle I got myself into over money, everything else about my life..............I'd give it a 8 or 9 out of 10. No complaints. But somehow or other, when the problem is money, it sucks all the oxygen out of the room..................

 

[Avaj]

Wow lewpac

First of all I always enjoy reading your posts. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was something I needed to read. Just wanted you to know your words reach one person and that is me. Thanks again.

 

[Jon88]

I would sue whoever stiffed me.

 

[Rampage]

Wow lewpac

First of all I always enjoy reading your posts. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was something I needed to read. Just wanted you to know your words reach one person and that is me. Thanks again.

he's one of my favorites here. whenever I scroll through a thread and see the next post was by him I always think "this should be a good one ".

 

[Bob Sacamano]

No offense or joking here but this thread actually makes me sad

I'm back dude, you don't have to worry anymore

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Don't ask that question. And if someone else says his name in this thread, that will be 3 times..... DON'T DO IT!!!

biggie smalls, biggie smalls, biggie sm...I can't do it

 

[lewpac]

I would sue whoever stiffed me.

You could sue, or better yet slap a mechanics lien on them. The problem with that is, even when you prevail, it takes a couple years, and then they file for bankruptcy anyway.

When you get "stiffed" like that, you need the money NOW!! Not two or three years from now. See, when you run with the big dogs, you get paid as a sub-contractor for "work that is completed". By it's very definition, you send your resources to the project, usually for the period on one month. Then, you submit you invoice for work you've completed. So, a 10 man show and materials for a month cost me about $15,000.00 a month at least. You do that month after month after month after month....................and they pay you .40c on the dollar, or .60c on the dollar.

They got all their "I's" dotted and "T's" crossed, and contest the definition of "complete". You're then caught in this space where, if you leave the project, firstly YOU'RE in violation of contract. Second, you'll NEVER SEE ANOTHER NICKLE from them if you quit. It's a wicked trap that I only got caught in ONCE, but it buried me.

I got off easy. The plumber, electrician, framer and roofer all got stiffed for over $600,000.00. The framing contractor for over 1.3 million! They put four subs completely out of business, the rest of us having to rob Peter to pay Paul to remain solvent.

I'm still in business. Actually, I've got my share of work. Around $400,000.00 worth of contracts. But that's just paying the bills. That's "payroll" money. I've never been able to catch that rabbits tail since 2006.
I thought for sure, given the past years, that I'd be back to even by now at least. But the last three years, that's where this "economy thing" hurt me. Usually, by now, I would've made up that $300,000.00 hit I took. But, it is what it is.

Again, just thank God for what you got....................and that's a lot if you decide to be thankful. Unthankfulness is like a cancer to a mans bones. You could chose to wallow around, look at what everyone else has, and piss and moan about your lot in life if you decide to. Or, you could be thankful and circumspect and again, the "if this is the worst thing that happened to me" thing. There are people dodging bullets in Afganistan, folks sleeping under bridges, and folks on their hands an knees looking for bugs to eat in a lot of places. There are people with a terminally-ill child. Now THAT'S A LIVING HELL!! I wouldn't with THAT on my worst enemy.

My neighbors wife (51 yrs. old) just died on Friday. Mother of five. She had a liver problem caused by Hepititus B or something. The insurance company refused to pay for a liver transplant because they found pot in her system. The say she didn't qualify because of the results of her blood test. Turns out, she was taking a puff or two off of a joint periodically to ease the pain and dementia she was going through. THEN, the insurance company changed their mind two weeks ago and allowed to pay-up for a liver transplant. She goes to the hospital, only to find out that it was a mix-up and the insurance company never actually agreed to pay for it. She died in that hospital one week later................................

Count your blessing.

 

[JonJon]

Just want to say thanks to all the responses and personal messages that I got from you all. It really helped. I'm not a fan of anti-depressants because they just hide the issue, and I am looking for answers.

I did talk to my brother and he gave me some encouraging words. It's kind of funny though; I used to be the guy giving the same advice/words to others, but now that the shoes have switched feet, it was hard to think of anything other than the issues that had me down. Although I'm not all the way out of my slump, I have made strides since last week, taking sometime to myself to re-evaluate my situation and not make any permanent decisions.

I guess I just need to take it day by day, and like someone said, wait for the pendulum to swing back into my favor.

Thanks again for the kind words all.

And sorry if my absence worried anyone. I just needed time away from everything.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Just want to say thanks to all the responses and personal messages that I got from you all. It really helped. I'm not a fan of anti-depressants because they just hide the issue, and I am looking for answers.

I did talk to my brother and he gave me some encouraging words. It's kind of funny though; I used to be the guy giving the same advice/words to others, but now that the shoes have switched feet, it was hard to think of anything other than the issues that had me down. Although I'm not all the way out of my slump, I have made strides since last week, taking sometime to myself to re-evaluate my situation and not make any permanent decisions.

I guess I just need to take it day by day, and like someone said, wait for the pendulum to swing back into my favor.

Thanks again for the kind words all.

And sorry if my absence worried anyone. I just needed time away from everything.

well I hope you find the help and peace that you seek...