Is anybody really happy?

[lewpac]

Just want to say thanks to all the responses and personal messages that I got from you all. It really helped. I'm not a fan of anti-depressants because they just hide the issue, and I am looking for answers.

I did talk to my brother and he gave me some encouraging words. It's kind of funny though; I used to be the guy giving the same advice/words to others, but now that the shoes have switched feet, it was hard to think of anything other than the issues that had me down. Although I'm not all the way out of my slump, I have made strides since last week, taking sometime to myself to re-evaluate my situation and not make any permanent decisions.

I guess I just need to take it day by day, and like someone said, wait for the pendulum to swing back into my favor.

Thanks again for the kind words all.

And sorry if my absence worried anyone. I just needed time away from everything.

If there's anything else I can leave you with, it's this:

The four "D's" to you answer...............

1. Decision
2. Desire
3. Details
4. Deliverance.

Make a decision. Many folks think that "once the feel like" doing something, it'll grow into something. Wrong. If you wait until you "feel" like quiting smoking, you'll never quit. If your waiting for some desire to come along to lose weight, you'll never do it. If you're waiting for it to "feel like the right time" to make changes, it'll never happen.

First, you DECIDE to do something. Commit to it. THEN, the DESIRE for doing it begins to make sense and grow on you. You get exited about it, because you've DECIDED to do something about it. More and more, you'll fell like doing it. As you're doing it, you'll get even more convinced and exited about taking it to next level............and the next level, and the next.

Then, of course come the details. The actual work. The stopping-this and starting-that stuff. The longer you stick to the detailed work of accomplishing what you want, the more reward you'll see, and that just builds upon the desire to keep going.

Finally, comes your deliverance. You've overcome. You've done it.
It's the rocks in brook that make the brook sing. It's the ability to overcome that makes a mans life great. If you have no obstacles, you'd have no victories. To have victories, you have to have an advesary. No rain, no rainbows.....................

 

[Avaj]

Good stuff again lewpac!!

JonJon glad to hear your alright

 

[Doomsday101]

I think I've forgotten what happiness feels like. I used to be the overly-optimistic guy that always smiled no matter what with dreams of promises and even better days ahead. Those days are long gone and seem so far away.

Now, I don't even know what it's like to be really happy anymore. I mean, I can put on a good show with the best of them, but I'm just lying to myself and everyone else. My smile is now forced and my nights are spent awake wondering if my pain will ever end and if I will ever be happy again. I doubt it though. I see no solution for what troubles me. Your heart can only take so much before it gives up, and I'm just about to that point. It's rough...really rough...and sad. Maybe theres someone out there that can give me hope. Tell me you've found happiness and maybe "I can convince myself to hope for the same thing. Go ahead and bring out the violins if you want, but I am serious. I think I am near the end of my ropes.

Don't worry you 12-21-12 to look forward to. I would not miss it for the world. :laugh2:

 

[CF74]

I honestly am a very happy person. I wasn't always though. In fact my journey to being happy began with me holding a gun to my head when I was 11.

I don't know what to share with you though that could help you and not break the forum Guidelines. PM me if you are curious I guess.

I lived with that mindset from around the age of 12 till the age of 22 until something powerful happened in my life. Then new challenges came and went throughout the years but never to the original point that I couldn't bare it like before.

To the op:

I was talking to a friend of mine today about happiness and he said that word comes from happenstance. Which means our circumstance can dictate our moods if we let them.

Poetically speaking we are like trees that produce fruits (Like joy) in certain seasons. Other times such as fall our leaves fade and some branches even dry up. This is all part of growth as a person. Sometimes you have to dung a tree to get it to produce fruit and believe it or not sometimes you have to beat your tree, or drive nails into it to get it to produce fruit.

When I was a serious weight lifter I used to shock my body (Not with electricity) by changing my routine in order to continue muscle development. If not then I would plateau and muscle growth stopped.

I said all that to say this, if you can't think yourself happy then change something about your life. We always feel best when we are successful, creative, or just simply accomplishing a task. If you are surrounded by negative, soul sucking, and unproductive people, they might be draining your joy.

 

[lewpac]

Good point..............

Happiness depends upon outward circumstances.

Joy is an "inside job". Happiness comes and goes, but if your joyfull on the innards, nothing can suppress that. It's a wiring, a default position. No matter how the winds blow, the joy remains.

Want Joy? PM me..........................

 

[DCgirl13]

I used to be really unhappy and what I did was change. I used to work at a job I hate, barely socialized, gained weight and was extremely depressed because of it. I finally got a new job with the employer that I wanted to work for awhile and I am now more social and have made a lot of friends. I feel HAPPY again finally and am working on dropping a few unwanted pounds before I get married next year. I also got engaged a few weeks ago which was really exciting.

What I'm trying to get at is that if you are unhappy, do the very best you can to change things up. It may work, it may not, but you have to try.

The biggest thing that has helped me is to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or saying and worry about my own self. I've also removed almost all negativity from my life which has helped a great deal.

 

[Kangaroo]

I honestly am a very happy person. I wasn't always though. In fact my journey to being happy began with me holding a gun to my head when I was 11.

I don't know what to share with you though that could help you and not break the forum Guidelines. PM me if you are curious I guess.

I know where Hos is going with this I would agree with his sentiments on the issue and to keep from breaking forum rules. I will say from other side conversations we had in the past via PM's he has a good answer. I would also say I am happy.

This from a man who at one time hated himself early age in my life to still being happy even when the word Autism was introduced into my life I remained happy and that was over 5 years ago.

 

[Trouble]

Go ahead and bring out the violins if you want, but I am serious. I think I am near the end of my ropes.

JJ, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. In no way is it a slur on ones manhood. It's an honest thing to do. And at the end of the day, I've always felt that's good for ones self-respect.

Alot of good advice has been shared on this thread. I'm certianly no "Psychiatrist "or "Religious Giant". I know nothing about Zulu teenagers, Eskimo mating rituals, or how they get air into tennis balls, however, I do know that one should never underestimate the power of severe depression.

You may just be experiencing melancholy, or the bules as some call it. A slight disruption of your "circadian cycle", those metabolic and glandular rhythms that are central to ones every day life. However, if your malady continues, and you find yourself floundering in your efforts to deal with it, I suggest you seek professional help.

Personally, I feel as long as there's no dreadful national shortage of good scotch, chicken-in-a-box, and football in the fall....I believe everything is going to be OK!


I hope your feeling better & hang-in-there!





:starspin

 

[visionary]

A lot of good advice already in this thread.

All i will say is:

remember that there is good and bad in everyone's life, just because others seem happy does not mean they dont have their problems, i always say: everyone has a cross to bear, some are obvious and some are not but everyone has them.

no matter how "bad" your life is and how dark it is, there is always something good in everyone's life. think of that and hold on to ot to get you through the rough part. if you have kids/family, that usually will do the trick.

find someone you respect (not love but respect) and talk to him/her. it sounds corny and weak, but believe me it will help.

last, FAITH. I truly believe that we are not put in circumstances that we dont have the capacity to handle.

all the best

 

[Achozen]

Don't worry you 12-21-12 to look forward to. I would not miss it for the world. :laugh2:

That's the only thing that's keeping me going.