It was late at the office when she walked in

[GimmeTheBall!]

You guys are harsh.

I enjoy the film noir writing style.

Harsh, very but manning the barricades agin the onslaught of critical review is OK.
Better than a tour of the tin can of a prison term near downtown San Bernardino where people don't last long, only the ring on the washtubs in the sunlight yard. Where stella can find a nice room where they don't ask questions and questions don't go asking.

But back to the harsh (and tinny) voices of critics. I
was gonna write it in post-Truman beatnik but I thot some here (and you know who you are) would have thought it was Generation X.
Still, it is hard to like a style that the Huns would have and accept, exceptin for the readin' they get on the MTV and VH1 streamers at the bottom of the screen.
Well, time to go. My lead in Ventura wants to talk for a hundred dollars and a one-way ticket to Palookasville where the women are cheap but not easy. And where a slug of rye with a chaser is still less than a one-dollar bet in the eighth at Glendale.

 

[GimmeTheBall!]

Wait a minute, you must be a huge fan of the 1920's reporter.

1920's reporter to Tom Brady: Champ Champ!! Talk about the long pass to Donte Stallworth. It looked like you guys were doing the jitterbug, while the Dallas Cowboys' secondary was doing the charleston.

Tom Brady: I don't know what the heall that means, but it was a great route... BOLAH BOLAH BOLAH.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZTGJKnwIu8&feature=related

OK, good one!
The comparison and allusion and illusion are great. For literary affect I would have said jitterbug and the tango.

 

[BigDFan5]

wait you mean people actually read this? I could tell by the author that it was going to suck

 

[GimmeTheBall!]

Wow, get over yourself.

You can be as clever as you want with your so called comebacks but all you are doing is making yourself look like an arrogant ______ . (use some of that creativity you have and fill in the blank yourself)

Remember this, you are the one who posted your piece on a PUBLIC forum. If you can't handle a little criticism then you are obviously in the wrong place.

Oh yeah, get over yourself... it had to be repeated.

Boo-hoo! Smart doesn't like nothin i post.
Um, if you stop posting, maybe you would be less incensed. Such harshness coming out of you.
But, still, nice to hear your views.
And, too, if you can get over your anger and your disapparoval over me, maybe you could go on to some other post and vent.

Me? I'm just waiting for the game. Having a good time responding to Forum bros.
So chill.
Precipia. No, that is for hair loss. Zanex or Xanex, that's it. Take it, control yourself and don't be hating no more.
Now that I have addressed you and taken important time from this Forum, you go do what I said and you'll feel better. And bring a note from your uncle that you will respect others' opinions and act like the good person you normally are unless the moon is on the wane.
Thank you for your views.
Um, straightforward and strident you are. Thank you.
(Man I bet your blood pressure has come down now, huh?) Take care, Smart.

 

[GimmeTheBall!]

In this instance, people don't like it

There he is! Let's git him!!!

Oh, come on. It's harmless fun while we await the Packers.

Odd how incensed some can get in things literary. Or satire.

Please, the price of admission will be refunded.
Thank you.

 

[Angus]

I would have posted an "owned" pic along with this post but I would have been called immature

Immature at 23 years of age? No way!!

Underfed? Maybe . . .

j/k

 

[GimmeTheBall!]

Well, that was a pretty cool little story. However, that was a lot of words to just say that the Cowboys defense "sucks" and that they will eventually cost us in the playoffs...

But, I'm confused! You said the lady had on a D. White jersey and then later said she was dressed in red? So what is it? Did she change clothes sometime after she entered?

Also, rye, if drank stright will make you go blind!

I am blind so I cannot read your inquiry.

But, if by chance, if you are referring to the contradiction in her attire or the ridiculous connection between Irving "society" and SMU, let me address the first.

Obviously the dame came in from the cold and took off her jersey to show me her well nourished condition in that crimson, not red, dress.
Now run along now and don't be asking questions and causing disruption in the literary world.
And it is R. White. And if you peer at the detective book cover, in the corner, off way off to the side there is a white garment with the letters R. Vite
(The folds in the jersey obscure the name)

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

http://i18.***BLOCKED***/albums/b133/BrAinPaiNt/doesnotapprove.jpg

 

[smarta5150]

Boo-hoo! Smart doesn't like nothin i post.
Um, if you stop posting, maybe you would be less incensed. Such harshness coming out of you.
But, still, nice to hear your views.
And, too, if you can get over your anger and your disapparoval over me, maybe you could go on to some other post and vent.

Me? I'm just waiting for the game. Having a good time responding to Forum bros.
So chill.
Precipia. No, that is for hair loss. Zanex or Xanex, that's it. Take it, control yourself and don't be hating no more.
Now that I have addressed you and taken important time from this Forum, you go do what I said and you'll feel better. And bring a note from your uncle that you will respect others' opinions and act like the good person you normally are unless the moon is on the wane.
Thank you for your views.
Um, straightforward and strident you are. Thank you.
(Man I bet your blood pressure has come down now, huh?) Take care, Smart.

174 words later to say "stop being so mad."

Who was mad? All I said was you need to get over yourself and take the criticism you asked for.

What did you expect, EVERYONE on this board to like it? I guess it wouldn't surprise me if thats truly how you felt. My apologies, I was unaware that we were in the presence of such greatness.

 

[jcblanco22]

I want Leotis Brown to write one of these.

 

[DeaconBlues]

Not bad, not bad at all. Ya may want to hold off contacting a publisher, however . . .

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

Wow... this got more posts than I thought it would

 

[Bob Sacamano]

awesum sig smarts

 

[JackMagist]

Hey Gimme...I thought it was great!

I'm a fan of the Film Noir genre and I found this quite entertaining. Some people just don't get it I guess...Oh Well.

 

[Da Hammer]

ok so after reading all that i just have one little question.... WHAT??????????

 

[Mansta54]

ok so after reading all that i just have one little question.... WHAT??????????

 

[vta]

Creative way of personifying the differences among fans concerning the defense and most notably the secondary.

I liked it.

 

[AtomicDog]

I liked it. Something different for a cold wet saturday two days after Thanksgiving.

 

[DragonCowboy]

Someone should have rethought clicking "submit."

Or "Register Now"

 

[PullMyFinger]

Don't get out of the car. Cause then you'd be purely pedestrian.

ROTFL.... :laugh2: