Actually it has always seemed to be those who get very sensitive and defensive over any negative thing said about Romo who bring up the "hat on backwards" argument, and similar things. Show me one argument from someone who feels that Romo isn't a very good leader where they mentioned the direction his hat was facing, or how loud he yells, or what kind of shampoo he uses, etc..
You guys, who take offense to any little thing said negatively about Romo or anything positive said about Kitna even, are the ones who come up with these trite arguments and then try to assign them to those of us who feel Romo is lacking in the leadership department.
As for field presence or a player's demeanor.. those are things you can make intelligent observations from, if you've seen a large enough sample. I think with the amount of games Kitna has played in now, you can definately sense that there is a difference when he's on the field in how he handles and manages the troops and the way players respond to him. Its a different feel from when Tony is in there. Not saying if its better or worse or right or wrong, but there is a noticable difference. Some things just weren't meant to be debated, as they arn't really measurable qualities. The perception that we get from certain things that we observe on the field can't very well be argued.
I think though that Kitna and Romo are both leaders in their own way, but all types of leadership arn't equally effective or respected.