Life is strange. I’m 38, 6’2”, about 195 lbs and I recently was diagnosed with Gout. I want bore you with the specifics of my affliction, however, I will tell you that as a result, my diet is now a minefield; if I eat the wrong thing, I temporarily lose my left leg. It’s not that it stops working or falls off. It is just that placing any type of weight on my foot leads to the most excruciating pain I have ever had to endure in my lifetime. If the military could figure out a way to biologically weaponize gout, peace would reign in our world; no one, and I mean absolutely no one, is storming a hill whilst in the grips of a gout flare-up…nigh impossible.
What it means is that I am now a borderline vegetarian monk with a ludicrously foul disposition and a 15 minute bladder as a result of the water I must consistently consume. Reduced meat (absolutely no pork or sausage of any type, no more than 8 ounces of beef and ideally every other day), no alcohol, no gravy of any kind (dark or white), no sauce, no fish (or at least, certain types of fish), absolutely no shellfish, no sodas, no fruit juice (of any kind, but especially no orange juice), no fun.
Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic on that last point, but if you think so, you seriously underestimate how much I like to eat. And the irony of it all is that after 12 years of marriage one of the few traits of my wife that has not been tainted by time is that woman’s abilities in the kitchen. In that regard, I have been a very lucky man and fully understood the scope of my good fortune; rare is the woman in this day and age that could compete with my wife’s menu. No one cooks better spaghetti. No one does biscuits and gravy like her. Her Bacon-wrapped chicken topped w/sautéed jalapenos and a cream cheese sauce with fried potatoes and green beans with bacon bits is revolutionary. Her Zuppa Tuscana? To die for…and, get this, actually pretty good for you as she has figured out ways to implement healthy foods into just about everything she makes. The woman is a culinary genius and I have been largely rendered deaf to her inspirations.
All this while also being the father of two growing boys; which means if my diet is a minefield, my refrigerator is the gates to hell. After all, I cannot ask them to change their diet to accommodate my lack of restraint. Much of what I cannot eat are things their young growing bodies need. So, I simply just have to get over it and understand that what I eat today could result in hearing my wife refer to me as Hop-Along-Charlie tomorrow. Contrary to her cooking ability, time has done wonders for her sense of humor.
As I ruminated over this bitter pill life has handed me, I thought about the sacrifices players have to make to play the greatest sport ever devised in football. Just about every single player has a dedicated nutritionist who must act as a food **** to ensure peak performance on gameday and during practice. And for many, this is not a regular season regimen. To yield the best results from their diet, they must commit to eating a certain way at certain times throughout the year. Based on physical demands, a nutritionist will provide to the milligram how much of each type of food the player needs at what times of the day. Their diet is a science geared towards performance; taste is secondary to physical necessity.
Of course, it doesn’t end there. Whereas most people in this world are forgiven their various poor health habits, in today’s football, every choice a player makes determines how well they can compete against the guy lined up across from them. If the guy lined up on the other side of the scrimmage is making better choices in diet and in exercise, there is a good chance they have the advantage before the ball has even been hiked, talent be-damned.
While NFL players get to experience a life that few can imagine given the millions of dollars they make per game, the physical demands of this sport handcuffs them to practicing restraint on a level few can commit to. Being a player in the NFL is like having your cake, but paying dearly on the field of play if they dare to eat it. But if they want to stay in the league and amass a nest egg for life after football, they must count every calorie, every gram of protein and every carb that they consume. Discipline, after all, is the first ingredient used on every player drafted; without it, you are just another player that will likely watch the draft sail by without a single mention of your name.
Recently, I’ve heard whisperings about Zeke’s weight. Many suggest that his commitment to the game is in question based on his body composition during OTA’s; some even going as far as to say he looks fat.
There may be truth to that. What people don’t understand is that is most likely by design. During training camp in the heat they will be practicing in and given the amount of running they will be doing, you want a thin layer of fat to burn. Because if you have no fat to burn, then your body will begin to eat your muscle. And that is the last thing you want to happen to a Running Back whose game is as much dependent on strength as it is on speed. Granted, the runs where he takes it to the house with his speed are nice, but his ability to get that inch when all the Cowboys need is an inch, will always be the more important aspect of his game. That ability is what separates him from every other running back currently on this team.
So, enough with the pictures of players debating about rather or not they look fat now. Make no mistake, by preseason each and every player still on the team will have lost between 5 and 10 lbs of water weight. By the regular season, the percentage of body fat left will be under 5%, unless they are playing on one or the other side of the line. If they still look fat come regular season, they either will no longer be on the team or are injured. If they are playing come September, you can bet they will be in peak condition to perform.
Life is strange. But discussing a player’s weight prior to training camp starting, knowing that each and every one of these players diet is honed to an exact science, is by far much stranger….if not decidedly misguided.
Thoughts?
listen to almost everything your wife says withstanding giving up bacon.
