Longtime Girfriend Is Moving Away

[NeonDeion21]

Can you go on any of the trips?

None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, .. if you love her and she loves you, .. be together.

My wife and I started dating when she was 16 and I was 17. I just turned 57 yesterday.

We had a long distance relationship for two years when we were 19 or 20 or so, .. but nothing like you are talking about. We saw each other every week or two.

For as long a seperation as you are talking about, I would check into going where she is.

Like I said, no one knows the future, if she is the one, don't let her get away. Do whatever it takes to be together. I can't think of much worse than not being with "the one".

Happy Belated Birthday! And to answer one of your questions I believe I will get the chance to go on a few trips which would be nice.

 

[NeonDeion21]

One last thing. Women stay loyal to their soldiers for long periods of time.

They can do it but we as men can't? Says something about our gender doesn't it?

I told her something very similar to this. Soldiers go away for long periods of time and they make it work so it is possible.

 

[Hoofbite]

What is the total separation time?

 

[Stautner]

I know plenty of them too. I'll focus on the heroes who do, whether they are men or women. I know stories of men being gone for years and the love not dying.

I don't think anybody is saying that can't happen with the OP too, just that it will be tough.

 

[NeonDeion21]

What is the total separation time?

1 month gone then 3 weeks back home. Then 16 weeks gone and then 1.5 months home. This is just the schedule as of now.

 

[Stautner]

I told her something very similar to this. Soldiers go away for long periods of time and they make it work so it is possible.

Yes, it is possible, and I hope it is truly meant to be. My only advice would be to be careful not to put your life on hold in an effort to pick up where you left off. I'm not saying to see other people, but in every other aspect of life to move forward and learn and experience everything you can that fits with your beliefs and morals. I've seen people have that problem, essentially cutting themselves off from parts of the world and a chance to be exposed to a lot of good things as if there is someting wrong with experiencing life without the other person around, or in an effort to make the other person feel secure that they aren't going to move on without them. That's not only bad for your personal growth, it's bad for the relationship.

 

[Hoofbite]

1 month gone then 3 weeks back home. Then 16 weeks gone and then 1.5 months home. This is just the schedule as of now.

What's the longest it could be?

 

[NeonDeion21]

What's the longest it could be?

The longest would be 4 months without seeing her.

 

[Stautner]

The longest would be 4 months without seeing her.

I thought you said it would be 5 months at a time. Does that mean you will get to go see her at least once during each 5 month stretch?

 

[NeonDeion21]

I thought you said it would be 5 months at a time. Does that mean you will get to go see her at least once during each 5 month stretch?

Yes, I will be able to see her once during that 5 month period. Sorry I made that confusing. I'm still trying to figure it out also. :laugh2:

 

[Cowboy Brian]

CowboysZone

works for me

 

[Stautner]

Yes, I will be able to see her once during that 5 month period. Sorry I made that confusing. I'm still trying to figure it out also. :laugh2:

That helps. The obvious key is to just keep living life rather than dwell on not having her around. As they say, if it's meant to be it will work out.

 

[NeonDeion21]

That helps. The obvious key is to just keep living life rather than dwell on not having her around. As they say, if it's meant to be it will work out.

I agree 100%. I was just looking for ideas on how to keep myself busy and to help control the missing her part.

 

[NeonDeion21]

works for me

:laugh2: It always helps.

 

[CowboyMike]

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if anyone has suggested it yet, but if you both have internet, then each of you should get a web cam so you can see eachother that way pretty often.

And most of all, trust each other. If there isn't trust in the relationship being apart long distances for the extended period of time, well... bad stuff will happen.

 

[Stautner]

I agree 100%. I was just looking for ideas on how to keep myself busy and to help control the missing her part.

Do what 20 year old guys do - well, maybe not the getting drunk and trying to get laid part ......


What interests you? Get more involved in those things.

Hopefully you have interests that aren't tied to your gf - its not fun or healthy if you don't have an identity or personality independent of another person. The relationship will have problems if the only source of entertainment either of you have is the other - makes for needy and insecure partners, and puts a lot of pressure on partners to be relied on for everything. Unfortunately that is a common problem that plagues a lot of people.

Focus on school and work assuming you do those things, participate in sports, spend more time with friends doing whatever your friends do, and again, get more involved in things that interest you.

 

[5Stars]

Will she leave the dog?


j/k


Things happen for a reason...(at least that's what my momma would tell me).


:

 

[big dog cowboy]

Sigh. My girlfriend is going away for 5 months at a time for the next few years. She will be back for a few months, then she will go again for mission trips.

Good luck!!!

 

[Hoofbite]

There's really no certain way to make it work. Crazy factors come into play like time differences. If the other person is more than about 2 hours different, it really starts to cut down on the time you have available to talk. They go to bed hours ahead of you and you get up hours after them.

I've done it and it didn't end all that great for me but I don't see why it couldn't end well for others. I did it for two and half years and was every bit as interested in maintaining the relationship as I was the day she left. Unfortunately, **** happens and distances and time started taking a toll.

I didn't think it was all that bad. There are crappy times but you can always call them and skype them. Nobodies dying.

But as I said, **** happens and people change. I'd say the longer the separation, the greater the chance of splitting. When I asked how long, I'm talking total time. From her first leaving until the day she would likely be home for good.

If it's more than 2 years or so, it's gonna be pushing it. You guys are both young and both have likely never been in a longer relationship. In all honesty, I'd say the likelihood of success at such a young age is pretty low.

If you want the best advice I can offer, here it is:

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and thank your luck *** stars if you guys last the distance.

 

[CliffnDallas]

Sigh. My girlfriend is going away for 5 months at a time for the next few years. She will be back for a few months, then she will go again for mission trips.

Any suggestions on how to handle the distance and to pass the time?

Prison transfer?