My good friend's ex, what is your verdict?

Reverend Conehead

Reverend Conehead

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Runwildboys said:
Did @Reverend Conehead say how long they were together before he offered to take care of her? Was he saying that before they even started dating?
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That's a detail I don't know.

I have noticed that sometimes someone is nuts for someone and everyone else can see what a terrible match it is, but the person in love can't see it. Sometimes astounding choices happen. It boggles the mind.

Now ... let me get back to my love letter to Amber Heard.
 
G2

G2

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Runwildboys said:
On the flip side, if he felt that way toward her, why would he think she couldn't feel the same way?..Ooh! I wonder if she was pretending to be from Canada, but had a URL from California!
:laugh:
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They can get crafty, but I found him/her/it out.. Crazy.
 
Streifenkarl

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Well, a saying around here goes like "you wake up next to the one you lay down with" or something in the likes. Lots of "women this women that" in this thread, but in the end its about the individual. Anyone can meet a person that changes over time and in the end they seperate. Especially if one tries to change his/her life while the other one tries to keep things the way they are. And what did the women on the internet have to do with anything? Of course she got the answers she was looking for, thats the nature of such threads. So she "used" him as a way to restart her life from the beginning? Doubt that. Seems like they had a couple of good years and then she recognized that this wasn't the way she want to spent the rest of her life. And for whatever reasons they weren't able to talk about this.

So, just from the initial story I wouldnt put any blame on the woman. Or, to be more precise I wouldn't blame anyone in this relationship. Things change. The one being left is always heartbroken while the one that leaves has had time to make up his/her mind and therefore knows whats coming. Of course going seperate ways or divorcing is always nasty, I had to witness that with my parents. Freakin, especially when it happens to you at the age of 11 and you remember the happy times.

Long story short, I don't see any wrong doing here. You don't "buy" someone, just because you support him/her financially a couple of years. And true love doesn't disappear just because of financial reasons. There was alot of other stuff going on I'm sure. It may be the unpopular opinion here, but this is the way I see it, not knowing either of them of course.
 
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bigdnlaca

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Sounds like your buddy was a simp from the start though. He liked her and told her all she had to do was do A,B, and C. It was a way to control her and to a lot of women, they would be fine with it.
However, her ambition was probably to be something better than a waitress from the start. Can’t blame her if he was willing to help with school because if he didn’t, she would have left then.

In closing your buddy was hoping that she would like him because he has shown the dedication and interest in her when she had nothing. But that is the risk people take when they go after that people in a lower tax bracket from the start because they are looking for survival and security and not relationships.
 
Runwildboys

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bigdnlaca said:
Sounds like your buddy was a simp from the start though. He liked her and told her all she had to do was do A,B, and C. It was a way to control her and to a lot of women, they would be fine with it.
However, her ambition was probably to be something better than a waitress from the start. Can’t blame her if he was willing to help with school because if he didn’t, she would have left then.

In closing your buddy was hoping that she would like him because he has shown the dedication and interest in her when she had nothing. But that is the risk people take when they go after that people in a lower tax bracket from the start because they are looking for survival and security and not relationships.
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I don't think it was a way to "control" her. I think he just didn't want her sitting around the house doing nothing while he took care of her financially.
 

jwitten82

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Runwildboys said:
I don't think it was a way to "control" her. I think he just didn't want her sitting around the house doing nothing while he took care of her financially.
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There's actually studies on this subject, a woman out earning her husband is more likely to leave the relationship. The OPs friend got a bad deal, sucks when it happens. Not only did do he lose time that he can't get back, but money he can't get back.
You just have to notice the red flags, I had a relationship that ended not too long ago, and we had talked about buying a house together, she told me that she didn't want to pay half the mortgage because it would be like we were roommates, but she still wanted her name on the mortgage lol.
 
Runwildboys

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jwitten82 said:
There's actually studies on this subject, a woman out earning her husband is more likely to leave the relationship. The OPs friend got a bad deal, sucks when it happens. Not only did do he lose time that he can't get back, but money he can't get back.
You just have to notice the red flags, I had a relationship that ended not too long ago, and we had talked about buying a house together, she told me that she didn't want to pay half the mortgage because it would be like we were roommates, but she still wanted her name on the mortgage lol.
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My ex started earning more than me in our fifth year of marriage. Within 2 or 3 months she said, "I think we should get a divorce."

I said, "Okay!"

Haven't regretted it for a nanosecond since.
 
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