My life is tough

[Reverend Conehead]

• I bought a book about getting well organized, but I can't find it.
• I bought a book about how to improve your memory, but I forgot where I put it.
• Three months ago, I bought a book online about how to scam people online, but I still haven't received it.
• I got a tattoo that reads, "no regrets." Now I really regret getting it.

 

[Runwildboys]

If it helps, I started a misanthropy based church.

You're welcome to join, just do it from your own friggin' house.

 

[nobody]

If it helps, I started a misanthropy based church.

You're welcome to join, just do it from your own friggin' house.

I was going to create the procrastinators branch of your church, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

 

[Runwildboys]

I was going to create the procrastinators branch of your church, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

I don't care.

 

[Pass2Run]

I sell no soliciting signs, door to door.

 

[SlammedZero]

I signed up for a time management seminar, but I keep rescheduling it.

 

[gtb1943]

I applied for a cattle crossing guard position but my pet wolf ate the cow so I was considered unqualified

 

[Reverend Conehead]

• I downloaded a mindfulness app, but I was too distracted to open it.
• I subscribed to a YouTube channel about digital minimalism. Now I binge watch it for hours on end.
• I bought a book called How to Say No. I didn’t really want it, but the salesperson was pushy.
• I hired a life coach to help me take control of my life — and now I do everything he tells me to do.
• I signed up for a meditation retreat to escape stress — and spent the whole time stressed out that I wasn’t relaxing correctly.
• I took a speed reading course. Now I misunderstand books twice as fast.
• My therapist says I have trust issues, but I don't trust that scammer.