serious question i need answered (please respond)

[CATCH17]

As a woman, I can complete get behind what all these guys are saying.

(Except for that Tomson part about women being dumb like that. )

If she's saying she wants space, chances are she just wants to let you down easy without destroying you as a person or as a friend.

If its meant to be, then it will come around down the road, but don't wait for the bus that may not be stopping there again.

Your so smart. hahaha

 

[Bob Sacamano]

This can't be said enough.

Stop contacting her. Change your mindset. You don't want her back (even if you really do).

If you do that, and it's meant to be, she'll contact you. Women think you're pathetic if you keep contacting them after a breakup. It's complete reverse psychology. If you move on, they inevitably end up contacting you.

Why would you want to be all dependent on her anyway? You're barely old enough to drink. Go do that instead.

I think that might exacerbate the situation. Heartbreak and drink is not a good mix, next thing you know you'll be blowing up her phone all night long. And what you say on the phone will make you come off looking even more pathetic. I've been there lol I once did that, told a girl that I had nothing left to live for and was blubbering like a baby.

But if he does go that route, I hope he hides his phone before he goes out.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Your so smart. hahaha

and married...

 

[cajuncocoa]

Here's what you do. Find a local children's hospital and go read stories to terminally ill kids for a few afternoons. Take your mind off your sadness by realizing there are tougher things in the world to deal with.

Study in the evenings. Don't party. Focus on school.

Let her be the one to call. Time and distance are to love as they are to flame. They extinguish the small, they enkindle the great. If yours truly is a great love she will come back because you have granted her the space and time she asked for. If it is a one way street, you're better learning that now than 5 years down the road with two small kids, a mortgage, and other debts.

Last of all, don't feel sorry for yourself. I know that sounds tough or cruel, but I am serious. There are worse things in life than breaking up. A couple from my church got married in June. Two weeks ago he was on his way to school and a car turned in front of his motorcycle. He wasn't speeding. He had on a helmet. He died anyway. 25 years old leaving behind a 23 year old bride who found out 3 days after his death that she is expecting their first baby.

It's a breakup, not the end of the world. We all go through them.

+1

I was going to say a similar thing, and I couldn't have said it better.

punit328, it's been two days. Give yourself time. Time DOES heal.

 

[jimmy40]

Damn dude, grow a pair.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Damn dude, grow a pair.

 

[CliffnDallas]

Back on Monday my girlfriend and i broke up. She said she wasnt happy and she wants some time away as well as some space apart. We are still friends and we still talk and we still might get back together. I tried to do the best i can but for some reason it didnt work. I loved(and still love) this girl and still care for her. I am 22 and she is 20 but the age isnt really a big issue.


In the meantime, im taking it really hard-harder then i ever thought it would be. Im eating but not a whole lot, im lacking in the sleep department and the break up is all thats on my mind as i cant even concentrate in classes or studying and i would prefer to grieve alone.

I feel empty, lonely, upset and mad at myself and i didnt even laugh or smile the past two days. She said we could still be friends, but i fear that she will forget about me since there are only a few more months left in the semester.

I hope and pray every night that we will get back together again, but i dont have a crystal ball.So my question is can anyone please give me some advice on how to get her back? Because its been two days and i already feel empty and i dk how i would react if she didnt want to get back together.

I have even been crying and i dont usually cry unless its something big.

I know there are plenty of girls out there but im not ready to give up just yet, and i dk if i can go on without her. We even watched cowboys games together and she doesnt like the cowboys.

So if any of you have any advice then please share it, and please no mean or cruel jokes. Thank You.

Buy a dog. They are cheaper to keep and nobody really cares if you drag them out in the woods and shoot them as long as you have a good reason.

 

[CF74]

If you have already told her how you really feel about her then all you can do is give her space. Most young girls can't stand being ignored. Eventually she will want to know why and she will look for you. If not, then she has moved on and possibly found someone new.

 

[MapleLeaf]

...really good advice here in this thread. Count yourself fortunate that everyone was willing to shared from their own personal experiences and use it wisely.

Take the first positive step on the path of your new and still blessed life. Part of that is not to double back on the road you've already traveled.

What's that saying that everyone always uses in light of this situation...something about fishes in the ocean???

 

[Faerluna]

Your so smart. hahaha

So smart that I know that "You're" is actually the appropriate word for your sentence.

 

[TellerMorrow34]

Back on Monday my girlfriend and i broke up. She said she wasnt happy and she wants some time away as well as some space apart. We are still friends and we still talk and we still might get back together. I tried to do the best i can but for some reason it didnt work. I loved(and still love) this girl and still care for her. I am 22 and she is 20 but the age isnt really a big issue.


In the meantime, im taking it really hard-harder then i ever thought it would be. Im eating but not a whole lot, im lacking in the sleep department and the break up is all thats on my mind as i cant even concentrate in classes or studying and i would prefer to grieve alone.

I feel empty, lonely, upset and mad at myself and i didnt even laugh or smile the past two days. She said we could still be friends, but i fear that she will forget about me since there are only a few more months left in the semester.

I hope and pray every night that we will get back together again, but i dont have a crystal ball.So my question is can anyone please give me some advice on how to get her back? Because its been two days and i already feel empty and i dk how i would react if she didnt want to get back together.

I have even been crying and i dont usually cry unless its something big.

I know there are plenty of girls out there but im not ready to give up just yet, and i dk if i can go on without her. We even watched cowboys games together and she doesnt like the cowboys.

So if any of you have any advice then please share it, and please no mean or cruel jokes. Thank You.

Take the advice of BBgun and Hos on this. It's very sound advice.

You'll be fine. Stay strong.

Here's what you do. Find a local children's hospital and go read stories to terminally ill kids for a few afternoons. Take your mind off your sadness by realizing there are tougher things in the world to deal with.

Study in the evenings. Don't party. Focus on school.

Let her be the one to call. Time and distance are to love as they are to flame. They extinguish the small, they enkindle the great. If yours truly is a great love she will come back because you have granted her the space and time she asked for. If it is a one way street, you're better learning that now than 5 years down the road with two small kids, a mortgage, and other debts.

Last of all, don't feel sorry for yourself. I know that sounds tough or cruel, but I am serious. There are worse things in life than breaking up. A couple from my church got married in June. Two weeks ago he was on his way to school and a car turned in front of his motorcycle. He wasn't speeding. He had on a helmet. He died anyway. 25 years old leaving behind a 23 year old bride who found out 3 days after his death that she is expecting their first baby.

It's a breakup, not the end of the world. We all go through them.

Exactly. There is no way I could have put it better.

Damn dude, grow a pair.

You knew at least one person would have to come in here and be the smart ***.

 

[JD_KaPow]

Lots of good advice already here. I'll just add this:

It's been two days (well, three now, I guess). It's supposed to suck. You can't sleep, eat, concentrate - that's what happens two days after getting dumped. To everybody. You can do all the things people are suggesting here, and they'll probably help a little, but it's still going to suck. For a while. And that's ok.

 

[jimmy40]

Take the advice of BBgun and Hos on this. It's very sound advice.

You'll be fine. Stay strong.





Exactly. There is no way I could have put it better.






You knew at least one person would have to come in here and be the smart ***.

surprised it took so long for someone to kick this guy in the ***.

 

[ethiostar]

Lots of good advice already here. I'll just add this:

It's been two days (well, three now, I guess). It's supposed to suck. You can't sleep, eat, concentrate - that's what happens two days after getting dumped. To everybody. You can do all the things people are suggesting here, and they'll probably help a little, but it's still going to suck. For a while. And that's ok.

I couldn't have said it better.

Telling a guy just to get over it/grow a pair or pointing out that other people have to deal with something worse is fine and ok but its too early for this guy. He's hurt and its ok to feel it and find a way to hand it. But right now, only three days after the fact, i don't know if you can expect much else. If he really cared about her then his feelings are legitimate, many of us have been there i think.

Now on the other hand, a few months down the road he still feels this way and he's still obsessing and feeling sorry for himself then a different approach might be appropriate.

About 13 years ago, something happened to me, relationship wise, that turned my life upside down. I don't want to get into it but trust me when i say that it was much more complicated and there was way too much on the line compared to the OPs situation. My best friend was there for me the entire time. We've known each other for a long time and we've helped each other get through some really tough life situations. But after a couple of months of hearing me ***** and moan and feeling sorry for myself and crying "why me?", he asked me a question that i will never forget. He flat out said "Why not you? What makes you so ****ing special that bad things don't happen to you? Why do bad thing always have to happen to someone else". That was exactly what i NEEDED to hear at the time and it helped me put things in perspective and move on. On the other hand, if he had said that to me only a few days or a couple of weeks after experiencing what i experienced, i would have punched him in the face. I would not have been receptive, the wounds still too raw and i needed some time grieve in my own way. What I needed early on was someone to talk to, to vent and take my mind off things.

 

[visionary]

lots of good advice in this thread.
i would only add that life is full of ups and downs. you are better off spending it with someone who wants to be with you.

 

[jimmy40]

[youtube]ZTAhZKP5wCY[/youtube]



[youtube]1PK2R0IwCiY[/youtube]

 

[Chief]

lots of good advice in this thread.
i would only add that life is full of ups and downs. you are better off spending it with someone who wants to be with you.

That's it exactly. The last thing you should want is to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you.

If she "needs some space" then put as much as you can between you and her and count yourself lucky. She probably is interested in someone else already.

When you're young, it might seem like the end of the world, but you'll find someone else.

 

[Jon88]

The same thing happened to me earlier this year. If she wants to come back she will. You just have to understand that you'll eventually get over it. It may take a while, but you will.

 

[tomson75]

lots of good advice in this thread.
i would only add that life is full of ups and downs. you are better off spending it with someone who wants to be with you.

That about sums it up in a nutshell.

 

[Boom]

When I was your exact age, the first true love of my life broke it off with me. Much like you, I dealt with the pain internally. I waited for the day that I woke up and didn't think about her. It took awhile, but one day it came. Somehow she knew when I went out on my first date afterward and came back after me. I knew her return wasn't because she wanted me, but rather she didn't want me with someone else. Turning her down was the hardest thing I'd ever done at that point in my life.

I know hearing "it's for the best" or "things will get better" don't provide the cure you are looking for, but they are true statements. Also, it's not a good idea to cling to "friendship" with hope of reclaiming the relationship. It will probably just delay the healing process.

Good luck to you.