Should I go on this time travel mission?

[Runwildboys]

Yes. Just go.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Oh yeah, I forgot about her. We may need to fund your next trip back in time to *ahem* take care of her. Still! Are you sure you didn't do something funny? We must protect our world dominance.

Amber probably injured Diggs via a voodoo doll of him. Don't worry. I'll get her back. That *****.

 

[Streifenkarl]

Spacehog - In the meantime

 

[catiii]

There's this French lady from the 18th century who keeps communicating with me via telepathy, asking me to come back in time and help her. She looks pretty hot. She's wearing one of those old-fashioned dresses that spreads out like a big bell at the bottom, and has a really tiny waist, thanks to a corset. On top, she's showing ample cleavage ... oh là là. She's from the pre-revolution era (prior to 1789). I'm not sure exactly what she wants. My French is okay, but I find it tough to understand if they talk too fast. But what's clear is the last part: "You must help me, Reverend Conehead. You're my only hope." I thought I heard some heavy breathing in the background; then the telepathic transmission ends.
...
Of course time travel is fraught with danger, so I only want to do this if it's really important. I need to think with my brain and not with my [bleep]. But, man oh man, she looks sexy in that dress. I think she might work for Marie Antoinette in the royal palace.
...
I'm super tempted to go, just to see what's up. Plus, it would be a good test of my French. I value everyone's judgement here. Should I go on this time travel mission?

I would consult with this woman for advice before making your final decision!

 

[Birch_Wood]

I'm just returned from the mission. Turns out it was some weirdo French Madame who operated a maison close (a brothel), and offered me love romps in exchange for my help in keeping the French monarchy in power. I refused because she and her workers weren't at all appealing. Yuck. Plus, we Americans had our revolution. Would have felt weird getting rid of one from another country. I didn't change any Cowboy games. Pffft! This was back in the 18th century. I didn't have to kill anyone, though I did have to chloroform some jerk to get access back to my time machine.
...
So, all of those Super Bowls should be in tact. I'll google them real quick, just to be sure ..... hey, wait a minute! Where are our trophies for Super Bowls 15, 16, and 17? And where's our star D-lineman, Piérre Aisselles Puantes-répugnantes, the one Landry coaxed out of his weight-lifting/boxing career in France? With him destroying defenses, Landry's Cowboys became the only team to win three straight Super Bowls, and the only one to make an opposing NFCC quarterback retire immediately after the game. After Puantes -Répugnantes sacked Joe Montana 13 times in our 54 to 6 victory in the '81 NFCC, Montana proclaimed, "I'm just not cut out for this game," and quit.
...
That dirtbag I chloroformed must have been Puantes -Répugnantes' Great Great Great Great Grandfather, and maybe the chloroform sterilized or killed him. Aw, crap. I'm sorry for ruining those three Super Bowls. I'm going to go back and fix this ...... hey, wait a minute. Where did these Super Bowls 27, 28, and 30 come from? We didn't win those. After Landry retired in 1990, our new owner, Dan Snyder, hired Richie Kotite, and we only won 6 games in all of the 90s and 2000s (all six against Washington). WTH????
...
Whelp, it's three for three. Do you want me to go back and restore the team to having won Super Bowls 15, 16, and 17, but not have any of our 90s-era Super Bowls? Or should I just leave it the way it is?
...
Oh, and Dan Snyder was an AWFUL owner. He relented under public pressure to change the name of the team from the "Cowboys" to the "Nice Guys" and he replaced the star logo on the helmet to a picture of Dudley Doright. I sure hope no other team is stupid enough to hire Snyder in this other timeline. There may be some hope, though. Roger Staubach is our new team owner, at least he was in the other timeline.

I suspected she was a catfisher.