Translating Stephen Jones

[Bobhaze]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

 

[Ranching]

You certainly need a hobby.

 

[Coogiguy03]

The thing about the leaves, whoever made that up needs to be the GM of the year!!!! lol

 

[Bobhaze]

The thing about the leaves, whoever made that up needs to be the GM of the year!!!! lol

Oh yeah! That’s a good one!

 

[blueblood70]

You certainly need a hobby.

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

 

[maryquality]

At least Stephen doesn't talk about "glory holes" or keeping things "around the rim".
But yeah, I agree..they're a bunch of liars, and would be perfect politicians!!

 

[Bobhaze]

You certainly need a hobby

One of my favorite hobbies is seeing if I can get you to post here. It’s paid off,

 

[Bobhaze]

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

Why are you complaining so loudly Blue?

 

[blueblood70]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

I know this the fan base who seems angry won't let it go and post 25 * a week about how much they hate the team and how it's run everything about it I don't really understand why they're still fans that is a absolute choice we hear every quote we read every Twitter social media ESPN and anything that's released about the Dallas Cowboys most of us here already read it we already heard it and we make our own decisions on how we did choose to follow the team and support the star and the players who are wearing it because that's the only thing we can do...

Do we need to have year round complaints like the complaint department is 24/7 and it's the same 15 or 20 subjects reworded into 75 different posts and it never stops I mean this is like a terrible newspaper this is all negativity we already know this going into next year if it's the same it's the same I'm still pulling for the team and I'm just gonna have to deal with the rest of it because unless the Dallas Cowboys somehow change ownerships overnight then this is what we're dealing with I mean unless you guys want them to up and move I mean who do you want to come in and be the new expansion team in Dallas because short of that nothing's gonna change you over the next 10 to 20 years so complaining about it all the time gonna make it look all professional trying to type it out like it's word like it's something's gonna change in the front office at the start they're not reading this they don't care what we think but I know I do care about having a football team here and i'm gonna support them whether y....ly won't do much more this off season..

 

[Ranching]

At least Stephen doesn't talk about "glory holes" or keeping things "around the rim".
But yeah, I agree..they're a bunch of liars, and would be perfect politicians!!

Or mosquito circumcision....

 

[CWR]

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

The old move on to other teams nonsense.

Yall need to shut up with that, it's beyond ridiculous. You're all weak and lack any sense of loyalty if you believe that to be a choice.

Why do you need to come on here and mange anyone's fanhood? Don't like it, move it along in your own right.

 

[Ranching]

One of my favorite hobbies is seeing if I can get you to post here. It’s paid off,

I'll be your Huckleberry..

 

[ClappingCarrot]

There's a few more:

"Hats off to them. They pay their guys too." - every embarrassing loss.
"We're always open for business. Player acquisition is a 365 day a year job." - when asked about FA they're not going to sign
"Obviously" - a word that is used in almost every sentence, even when it doesn't make any real sense.

Listening to Stephen Jones interviews is arguably one of my least favorite sports related activities.

 

[Bobhaze]

I know this the fan base who seems angry won't let it go and post 25 * a week about how much they hate the team and how it's run everything about it I don't really understand why they're still fans that is a absolute choice we hear every quote we read every Twitter social media ESPN and anything that's released about the Dallas Cowboys most of us here already read it we already heard it and we make our own decisions on how we did choose to follow the team and support the star and the players who are wearing it because that's the only thing we can do...

Do we need to have year round complaints like the complaint department is 24/7 and it's the same 15 or 20 subjects reworded into 75 different posts and it never stops I mean this is like a terrible newspaper this is all negativity we already know this going into next year if it's the same it's the same I'm still pulling for the team and I'm just gonna have to deal with the rest of it because unless the Dallas Cowboys somehow change ownerships overnight then this is what we're dealing with I mean unless you guys want them to up and move I mean who do you want to come in and be the new expansion team in Dallas because short of that nothing's gonna change you over the next 10 to 20 years so complaining about it all the time gonna make it look all professional trying to type it out like it's word like it's something's gonna change in the front office at the start they're not reading this they don't care what we think but I know I do care about having a football team here and i'm gonna support them whether y....ly won't do much more this off season..

I was joking with you earlier. Hey you are always welcome to disagree or say whatever opinions you have on the Cowboys. I’m not offended if you disagree.

My post on Stephen’s quotes is just intended to be fun. If you see that as “complaining” that’s fine. I was trying to inject some laughs into a pretty dark season.

And if I didn’t care about this team or its future, I wouldn’t be investing the time to state anything. A lot of Cowboys fans who are really mad, fed up or frustrated dont always even take the time to say anything.

So I support whatever opinions you want to have here. If you are offended by mine I respect your right to feel that way. None of this is personal for me. @Ranching and I often disagree but I appreciate him as great Cowboys fan. He’s fun. And I appreciate you too blue. You are fired up enough to write with fire!

 

[Coogiguy03]

Oh yeah! That’s a good one!

looooool

 

[America's Cowboy]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

LMAO, BH!!! You hit the nail right on the head with this Stephen Jones translation.

 

[Havic]

We did some things. Not all the things were positive but we have many more takeaways now to see where we are as a franchise and areas we can improve upon. We’re excited for the direction the team is headed, especially with the return of 4 next year. Blah blah blah non answers.

 

[Bobhaze]

We did some things. Not all the things were positive but we have many more takeaways now to see where we are as a franchise and areas we can improve upon. We’re excited for the direction the team is headed, especially with the return of 4 next year. Blah blah blah non answers.

There's a few more:

"Hats off to them. They pay their guys too." - every embarrassing loss.
"We're always open for business. Player acquisition is a 365 day a year job." - when asked about FA they're not going to sign
"Obviously" - a word that is used in almost every sentence, even when it doesn't make any real sense.

Listening to Stephen Jones interviews is arguably one of my least favorite sports related activities.

Hats off to you both. I certainly have great respect for what you are saying and I obviously certainly think we can and we will.

 

[shabazz]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

In addition to a politician, he would certainly be a great White House Press secretary.

Im surprised he hasn't added "We'll circle back to that later"

 

[big dog cowboy]

Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases