Translating Stephen Jones

[LysleE]

“Jerry and I are going to look at the team holistically to evaluate our needs”.

 

[Bobhaze]

Make no mistake the majority are fans of the team, the star, the history, the memories and the personal connection we associate with these guys every Sunday.

Never at any point did we agree to be fans of the GM/Owner. Most of us were here before him and we will still be Cowboy fans after he's gone. He can have his name on the title, but hes temporary. This is OUR TEAM. Jerry is just passing through.

Well said. I went to my first Cowboys game with my Dad at the Cotton Bowl when I was six years old. That was 25 years before Jerry Jones bought the Cowboys.

My fandom and commitment will never be based on who owns the team, who is the GM or who even plays for the team. The team itself and its history is bigger than anything or anyone else.

 

[IceStar-D7]

These two idiots threw away two future 4th round draft picks. To get players they'll never use. That's all you need to know-Dallas Cowboy fans. These clowns are CLUELESS!!!!!!

 

[Ranching]

Bob, we need to speak.

Good for you, set him straight! But, at least he isn't asking for our thoughts.

 

[gtb1943]

Hey, Rockport! I was wondering where you've been.

Rocky never had a post that long ever so its not him

 

[Ranching]

Everything out of his mouth is an attempt to insult most fans intelligence. I'd love to remove the silver spoon from his mouth and stick it where the sun doesnt shine.

I bet you'd enjoy that! Please, don't post any pics

 

[jazzcat22]

I learned a long time ago. Never, ever, believe anything that comes out of these two FO dummies mouths. Ever.
And it has become worse.

 

[JBS]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

I don’t think there is a member on the board that starts better threads than this guy

 

[nobody]

Why are you complaining so loudly Blue?

It's kind of funny because it's so predictable. They act like someone has a gun to their head and is forcing them to read it rather than it being a conscious choice. Then they reiterate the same complaints about complaints they always spout in a bold hypocritical mood since they're complaining about people complaining the same things over and over. Truly artful.

 

[HungryLion]

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

You’re free to fluff the front office as much as you want.

You don’t need Bob’s or anyone else’s permission.

 

[HungryLion]

Don’t forget

“We’re gonna get to work……”

Translated: I’m a silver spoon baby and we will be on Jerry’s yacht during the key parts of the off season when we should be working to improve the roster”

 

[ArtClink]

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

I didnt realize you had been deputized as one of the forum’s content police. Have you received your cardboard debuty sheriff badge yet?

 

[GMO415]

When Stephen Jones speaks, which is far too often, it is makes a little more sense than his Daddy’s unintelligible word salad mixed with a record number of “uh” statements thrown in. Although it’s a little less goofy, SJ’s comments are just as full of baloney as what his old man spews.

SJ has a series of often used standard words and phrases he likes to throw out to the press and fans. Remarkably, he says almost the same thing in a series of words and phrases in every single interview. He would make a great politician because he uses a ton of non-committal phrases that essentially mean either “We won’t be doing that”, “I am lying to you”, or “I’m am trying to make you think we know what we’re doing.” He is a double-speak aficionado.

So let’s look at what SJ commonly says in almost every interview and how that can be translated into what it actually means. Here are Stephen Jones’ favorite words and phrases that are said almost like clockwork in every statement or interview:

• “Certainly”…(THE most used word in SJ’s limited vocabulary. And he knows hundreds more words than his dad, lol)
• “At the end of the day.” (Translation: SJ’s “go to” phrase for “It will all work out”….except it doesn’t)
• “We certainly believe we have found the Secret sauce” (Translation: I’m so arrogant, I can say stupid stuff like this and still keep my job)
• “If the right situation arises.” (Translation: It won’t.)
• On contract negotiations -“We won’t be setting the market.” (Translation: We are about to set the market)
• ”We certainly see _____ being a big part of our future.'' (Translation: Means nothing. Or it could also be the kiss of death)
• “We will certainly look at that.” (Translation: We won’t be looking at that)
• “It’s certainly a possibility.” (Translation: it’s not possible)
• “Because of the cap limitations, we can’t afford to pay most free agents.” (Translation: We don’t know how to manage the cap, so we will lie to our fan base hoping they will believe the lie)
• “Our guys are certainly still playing hard right now.” (Translation: He’s somehow impressed that professional athletes play hard on a bad team)
• “We have great respect for Coach _____”. (Translation: We actually don’t respect any head coach who works here and the fact I’m talking to the press right now proves it)
• ”Jerry certainly believes in keeping options open.” (Translation: We’ve already decided what we’re doing)

This list could “certainly” go on and on. What else does Stephen Jones say that I missed and what does it mean?

BULLET!!!
This is what happens when people can't get fired.

 

[big dog cowboy]

Everything out of his mouth is an attempt to insult most fans intelligence. I'd love to remove the silver spoon from his mouth and stick it where the sun doesnt shine.

 

[JayFord]

I can translate Stephen

"We have money but we rather gaslight the fans and tell them we don't then sit on our butts during free agency and not get the players we need"

I'm telling y'all when Stephen fully takes over you better get used to seasons like the one were having now and offseasons like the one we just had

 

[rags747]

Another day, same old song and dance by the usual Suspects.

 

[ClintDagger]

Do other teams’ GMs and whatever it is that Stephen is do so many interviews? I mean part of the problem with Jerry & Stephen is that they have to find a 1000 ways to answer questions without actually answering them. No GM is going to tell you what they are planning to do. I get that it’s a vanity thing but nobody but the two of them will ever get anything out of it.

 

[spice]

Just like you have complained against the coaching the staff and their inability to evaluate players and to use them properly. You sir are the epitome of the pot who calls the kettle black Blowhard

 

[Cwby41]

Well said. I went to my first Cowboys game with my Dad at the Cotton Bowl when I was six years old. That was 25 years before Jerry Jones bought the Cowboys.

My fandom and commitment will never be based on who owns the team, who is the GM or who even plays for the team. The team itself and its history is bigger than anything or anyone else.

Bob please keep doing your thing. You put a lot of tome into all your posts and personally your one of the reasons I come to this board. Keep up doin what you do. And Thank You

 

[noshame]

Right 45 different ways to complain in 75 different posts about the GM in the front office before we even see the results if everyone knows the results why don't we just all be quiet and move on to other teams if it bothers everyone so much why do we need to write so much about the same thing over and over and over this is and all offseason all during the season now five months early for next offseason..

can we complaint departments shut down for the freaking holidays already!!!! Yes, captain obvious we get IT, we read the same things we can determine what he means in our own translations we don't need help people you all aren't helping by complaining so much this place is turning into the original Ghostbusters movie where Dallas is going to get overrun by negative and turn the whole place into hell on earth....

LOL jeez!!! Being a fan is a choice we already know the circumstances we don't need help figuring out but you know what I'm gonna be just as excited going into training camp and looking forward to another season as I was the last 25 or more I don't care about the circumstances because we cant control them..

yes, Jerry's counting on you.