Unusual way to become a single Dad

[Rackat]

http://www.today.com/moms/yearning-...le-men-who-turned-6C10744873?ocid=msnhp&pos=7


"DeFilippi pursued fatherhood on his own after the devastation of receiving a “Dear John” letter in 2003 from his second wife. She was leaving him and his long desire to become a dad remained unfulfilled."


Very interesting take on single parenthood.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Not too crazy about things like this. Others may disagree.

But having a child this late increases the chances that this child won't have her Dad as she grows older. (not to mention she does not have a mother, which every girl needs)

My wife's uncle did this several years ago, and recently passed away in his early to mid 70's. His son is 15 and is struggling with his death in a big way.

Losing your Dad at 15 is extrememly hard for a boy.

If this little girl loses her Dad when she is 15-20 yrs old, he won't be there to see her graduate college. He won't be there to watch her walk down the aisle or to give her away at the alter. Her children won't have a maternal grandpa, or grandma in this case.

Seems he was only thinking of his life and wishes, and not hers.

 

[Tabascocat]

Not too crazy about things like this. Others may disagree.

But having a child this late increases the chances that this child won't have her Dad as she grows older. (not to mention she does not have a mother, which every girl needs)

My wife's uncle did this several years ago, and recently passed away in his early to mid 70's. His son is 15 and is struggling with his death in a big way.

Losing your Dad at 15 is extrememly hard for a boy.

If this little girl loses her Dad when she is 15-20 yrs old, he won't be there to see her graduate college. He won't be there to watch her walk down the aisle or to give her away at the alter. Her children won't have a maternal grandpa, or grandma in this case.

Seems he was only thinking of his life and wishes, and not hers.

To play Devil's advocate here....

The little girl came into this world with financial stability and a loving parent. When he does go, I'm sure she will be left a nice inheritance. Sure, she won't have any siblings or a mother to help her through, but it is doable. Maybe this guy meets a tad younger woman and marries her, she then has a step-mom.

I would much rather someone bring a child in this way then born from a young mother with no daddy, dirt poor and living who knows where.

 

[WV Cowboy]

I would much rather someone bring a child in this way then born from a young mother with no daddy, dirt poor and living who knows where.

Neither way is fair for the child.

Him meeting a younger woman is a nice thought, .. maybe she has kids this girl's age.

But my wife's cousin still has his Mom, .. and he still is devastated with the loss of his Dad. His Dad was retired and he was an only child so they were together a lot and very close.

I saw the possibility of this coming when he had his vasectomy reversed and they made a testtube baby from his sperm and her egg.

He was in his late 50's.

Many people choose this, it's none of my business. I just would not do it myself.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

Seems to me that her options were to have an older single loving parent or to not be born at all. Something tells me the kid is pretty happy with the decision her Dad took.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Seems to me that her options were to have an older single loving parent or to not be born at all. Something tells me the kid is pretty happy with the decision her Dad took.

Options? She had no options. What are you talking about?

If you want to say she had options, she may have chosen a young man and woman in their late 20's or early 30's, ... but she had no options.

Nobody gets to choose who they are born to, or if they are even born or not.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

Options? She had no options. What are you talking about?

If you want to say she had options, she may have chosen a young man and woman in their late 20's or early 30's, ... but she had no options.

Nobody gets to choose who they are born to, or if they are even born or not.

pretty simple, she would choose the path she has been given rather than worry about your scenarios. The dad made the right choice because he brought her into this world and loves her. I would suspect she would agree with me that if she were presented with a choice between the two scenarios.

 

[WV Cowboy]

pretty simple, she would choose the path she has been given rather than worry about your scenarios. The dad made the right choice because he brought her into this world and loves her. I would suspect she would agree with me that if she were presented with a choice between the two scenarios.

Why do you keep talking about her having options, or her being presented with a choice between two scenarios?

She has no say in the matter.

Of course, everything is fine for her now, she is 7.

Get back to me in10 or 11 years when she is 17 or 18 and her Dad passes away before she graduates high school, before she has to go off to college on her own, before she graduates college and starts a new job, before she meets Mr. Right and he isn't there to walk her down the aisle, or when she gives birth to his grandchildren.

All he was thinking about was he wanted a baby, not about the child's future.

Like I said earlier, people do this, it doesn't impact me, .. but I wouldn't have a child that late in life.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

Why do you keep talking about her having options, or her being presented with a choice between two scenarios?

She has no say in the matter.

Of course, everything is fine for her now, she is 7.

Get back to me in 10 or 11 years when she is 17 or 18 and her Dad passes away before she graduates high school, before she has to go off to college on her own, before she graduates college and starts a new job, before she meets Mr. Right and he isn't there to walk her down the aisle, or when she gives birth to his grandchildren.

All he was thinking about was he wanted a baby, not about the child's future.

Like I said earlier, people do this, it doesn't impact me, .. but I wouldn't have a child that late in life.

I really suspect you are playing a part to circumvent, but on the off chance you really don't get it I'll just move on to your post. I have a half-sister that I was never all that close to because, unfortunately, I was never that close to my Dad until his final years. But, we are friendly. My Pop had her when both he and my step-mom were in poor health. So, she ended up in a very similar situation to the one you are presenting (except Dad lasted until she hit college). Since she has a much more realistic perspective, I figured I would just call her up and throw it in her corner to see if perhaps I was simply too optimistic here. Well, I suspect her sense of humor would be lost on you, but I will summarize that she was extremely happy that Dad decided to have her.

Now, granted, we are a very "bright side" looking family when it comes to existing, so it could be that we need to visit this from a more depressing perspective. But, I just can't bring myself to come around to the gloom and doom assumptions you are proposing for this young lady since the scenarios you are proposing have not happened and could very well not happen. When this young lady is 18, he will be 75. Since you have no knowledge of his general health or family history, why would you just assume that he is going to keel over? That seems a touch gothic. The article mentions no health issues that would lead you to believe this and for all either of us know his family history may suggest he could live into his 90s. If he lives until he is 95, she would be 38. There are a lot of people that lose parents a lot sooner.

 

[WV Cowboy]

There are a lot of people that lose parents a lot sooner.

I was waiting for this.

 

[AbeBeta]

Not too crazy about things like this. Others may disagree.

But having a child this late increases the chances that this child won't have her Dad as she grows older. (not to mention she does not have a mother, which every girl needs)

My wife's uncle did this several years ago, and recently passed away in his early to mid 70's. His son is 15 and is struggling with his death in a big way.

Losing your Dad at 15 is extrememly hard for a boy.

If this little girl loses her Dad when she is 15-20 yrs old, he won't be there to see her graduate college. He won't be there to watch her walk down the aisle or to give her away at the alter. Her children won't have a maternal grandpa, or grandma in this case.

Seems he was only thinking of his life and wishes, and not hers.

So then smokers, the obese, and say those genetically predisposed to cancer or hypertension shouldn't have kids either? After all, those folks all have a greater risk of leaving a child without a parent

 

[DFWJC]

I think everyone agrees this is not that rare absolute perfect scenario.
But real life presents seemingly countless other scenarios that are FAR worse than this.
Relatively speaking, this is a very lucky little girl.

But yes, of course growing up with a gleefully married couple, that financially stable, mentally stable,drug free, that love their kid, that advocates good health and education, that are active in the kid's life, that never get divorced.........etc. We can always dream up the perfect world.
And of course, that assumes that her mom decided not to abort her before she even had a chance.
Yes, she is lucky...so maybe we should be happy for her.

 

[WV Cowboy]

So then smokers, the obese, and say those genetically predisposed to cancer or hypertension shouldn't have kids either? After all, those folks all have a greater risk of leaving a child without a parent

Nice straw man. I was only talking about a man that fathered a child at 57.

Obviously, it is their choice.

 

[AbeBeta]

Nice straw man. I was only talking about a man that fathered a child at 57.

Obviously, it is their choice.

It is certainly ones choice to have a child if your have various health conditions as well.

 

[Tabascocat]

Nice straw man. I was only talking about a man that fathered a child at 57.

Obviously, it is their choice.

Remind me not to tell you when I turn 57, you might put me out to pasture

 

[CowboyMcCoy]

Awesome story. I bet she's glad to have him as her father as much as he is to have her as his little girl.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

I was waiting for this.

Said Eeyore to Poo Bear

 

[WV Cowboy]

It is certainly ones choice to have a child if your have various health conditions as well.

That's what I said, .. "Obviously, it is their choice.:"

 

[AbeBeta]

That's what I said, .. "Obviously, it is their choice.:"

Yet you judge those choices harshly.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Yet you judge those choices harshly.

I haven't judged anyone, I haven't said anything harsh, .. although I do have my opinion on the subject.

I have only shared my opinion, .. I have not tried to change anyone else's opinion.

Not sure why some have issues with that.