AsthmaField
Outta bounds
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Unfortunately yeah, it did.
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Read the latest Dallas Cowboys News!Dallas Cowboys Newswire
News: Zeke leaving the country?
- Thread starter Jeffkills
- Start date
xwalker
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It Florio again.
He is the source of the Zeke rumors and other media just repeat his rumor.
bandfan
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Here's the thing, you hold out for one reason, leverage. You don't get leverage by keeping your plan to hold out a secret. If he was gonna hold out his agent would make sure it was the boldest headline on every acronymed newspaper and website on earth, the moon, and mars.
408Cowboy
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CowboyStar88
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It is his birthday tomorrow, so if he is leaving I’m pretty sure it’s for that reason.
dallas72
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And Sweeden
dallas72
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Na hes gonna holdout now...because Chargers RB decided to name Zeke lol
OmerV
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Counting on Ajayi to get and stay healthy would be like counting on Randy Gregory to get and stay in the good graces of the NFL.
Sign Ajayi....and put Zeke on the did not report list. And leave him there....so he doesn't get credit for a season. Making him a free agent in 2022.
xwalker
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Maybe Zeke needs this....
What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...
12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a puss in front of your older brother's friends.
It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.
12:06 pm: You deep throat a cupcake like you've been saving it for the apocalypse because let's face it...that time is here. It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.
12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted **** in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.
Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.
12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...
12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The schlitz/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.
Is that blood?
False alarm.
That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your hole to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your ***.
1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have chit out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your hole now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.
You're now curled up in the bathtub ugly crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.
You meet Jesus.
8:37 pm: Your family will never be able to unsee the things they've seen in the last 8 hours.
You're broken.
Your hole is broken.
Your spirit's broken.
Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear you have that doesn't have a stain on it, and you're going to run up to Target with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.
You are an odd fellow.
DeaconBlues
M'Kevon
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I want Zeke to not travel with the team, but wait on the arriving tarmac, holding a sign that said "I heart the Cowboys".
That would be so classic. And probably cause so many to attempt to delete or edit their posts.
That would be so classic. And probably cause so many to attempt to delete or edit their posts.
RoboQB
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Maybe Zeke needs this....
What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...
12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a puss in front of your older brother's friends.
It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.
12:06 pm: You deep throat a cupcake like you've been saving it for the apocalypse because let's face it...that time is here. It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.
12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted **** in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.
Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.
12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...
12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The schlitz/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.
Is that blood?
False alarm.
That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your hole to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your ***.
1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have chit out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your hole now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.
You're now curled up in the bathtub ugly crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.
You meet Jesus.
8:37 pm: Your family will never be able to unsee the things they've seen in the last 8 hours.
You're broken.
Your hole is broken.
Your spirit's broken.
Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear you have that doesn't have a stain on it, and you're going to run up to Target with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.
Lol... "You meet Jesus."
CowboyRoy
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Bye...………………………………..Go get drunk in Europe.
JoeKing
Diehard
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When I was in the oil-rich nation of Kuwait, serving our country, I found out that is exactly how the Kuwaitis do it. They take a vacation during the hot summer months to get away from it and let the Lebanese and other foreign national workers run their businesses. So you see, it's not so unique for Americans to do that, other countries do it too.
Joe Realist
No Kool-Aid here!
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maybe it would have been good for him to get suspended a few games. At least he wouldn't threat to hold out. 
ClappingCarrot
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Zeke turns 24 today. Probably is leaving the country to enjoy a few days of relaxation before his life changes for the rest of the year.