RoyTheHammer;4631266 said:
I don't think you understood what i meant by the comment, and im sure i could have made it clearer, but her innocence is now ruined. It was taken from her, raped away from her. Can she still lead a happy, healthy life eventually? Yes, but the chances of such have been greatly reduced by boys who took away her ability to decide how the events of this child's life unfold, in a disgusting and traumatizing way.
..and again, no one close to her is going to be telling her that her life is ruined, so im confused as to why you keep bringing that up as if it relates to people discussing her case on a message board or through some other medium that isn't going to be seen or heard by any of the people being discussed.
To put a finer point on it... I was married to a young woman, who I found out — after marriage — had been abused as a child and then later as a young lady... about the age of the young girl this thread is about.
Sexually abused by a step-father as a 5-6 year old, then later abused by lowlife's who thought she'd witnessed a drug deal at school and were afraid she'd rat them out if the cops ever interviewed her as a possible witness.
The latter incident: she was falsely lured to a close acquaintance's house after school (a friend of hers was put up to it by the scumbag dope dealer and, under fear of retaliation, did as told) and she was abused... sexually, fingers broken, cigarette burns, etc. The cops botched the gathering of evidence and county/city jurisdiction lines were improperly adhered to... some such... as I was given to understand.
The guilty parties got off on technicalities. She was so traumatized by what had happened, she lost her memory of specific events. I know that to be true. She could never recount them to me, years later. I'd sit with her in movies where if a woman was hit, beaten, or even shouted at, she would cringe and grab my hand in the dark, squeezing it for dear life as she tried to curl up and hide in her seat. Scarred for life? Yeah, I'd say so.
I inherited her "ruined" life. She appeared happy-go-lucky on the outside. Made friends easily. Always seemed to have a bright spirit and outlook. In truth... dark and brooding inside, as I found out over the next 10 years. I tried to maker her as happy as I could. Protect her. Love her. She suffered from hating herself, I was told by people who understood the often messed up psyche of abused children.
She acted out in self destructive ways... by having affairs, lying, drinking in private without me knowing, etc. Won't go into all the gory details, but it was a mess... a life truly stolen from her as a child and again as a high-schooler.
So I take it personally when some refuse to allow for the reality of the potential depth of hurt and pain caused by such a traumatic event as sexual abuse by non-consent... rape. Not all rape victims are doomed to the same fate as my ex-wife, but all are scarred due to some part of themselves truly being ruined for life... whether they acknowledge it or not.
I tried reasoning w/o bringing personal stuff up. Now I'm just pissed by the willing "happy happy, good thoughts overcome all" blindness, and then follow-up unwillingness to acknowledge other points of view, by some.
Now I've gotta back away from this thread. I let it get to me and I'm liable to say something that gets me an infraction... possibly banned... if I keep reading more willing ignorance on parade.
