Burned out thread

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,964
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
I've been where some of you are now and often spend too much time thinking about the purpose of life, which eventually turns into the unfairness of life.

I have to actively avoid playing the "why me" card and force myself to look for the "what doesn't suck" cards. I will find them if I look hard enough.

I will share the one thing that has helped me cope after 7 decades and it is one simple phrase I repeat to myself over and over until I take myself out of that mood I can so easily slip into being a rather moody individual. "Everything is temporary". It's simple but effective for me and allows me to detach from my present feeling and actually look at it objectively.

And I can tell you the best therapy you will ever have to take you out of a dark mood or place because what is happening is that we are in a state of brooding. We don't intend to be but we get there just the same. Find something, anything, to make yourself laugh. It's not only cathartic and mood breaking, it takes you to another place, a better place.

I went to this laugh seminar with my wife about 15 years ago. That is unusual in that the people who were there that know me think of me as the funny guy. Why would the funny guy need to laugh? During this 4 hour exercise facilitated by a doctor who had experimented with his patients during therapy and a pattern began to fall in place to him, I became self aware that while I could make others laugh, I was not laughing because making myself laugh was not the objective. He led his patients in laugh therapy and noticed that during this shared experience, they felt closer to one another even though some had never met. I met with him on two other occasions, privately, and I had no idea what lay ahead that was going to cause me to use this therapy. He had asked to meet with me because when we did this exercise the first time, he heard people asking me to make them laugh. And he had already picked me out at one of the more serious looking people in the group. I've never been known as a smiler, still working on that.

Next time you're feeling burned out, stressed out, pissed or just down in that hole and need some help out, try this. Lie on your back on the floor and just start to laugh. If you can think of something funny it helps but most people can't when they're assigned to but don't worry about that, just start laughing with your hands on your stomach. Your goal is to make your hands move by using laughter to move your abdominal muscles, this is the elusive belly laugh, and the more you do it, the harder it becomes to not laugh. The first time we did this, I saw people with tears on their cheeks and exhausted from laughing and they were smiling and most had not been before that exercise. The ones that couldn't get a laugh going wanted to try it again because they realized they were being reserved in front of others, the most common obstacle that he had faced.

Science has no proof of the healing attributes of laughter. They've actually measured it to see if they could because they actually wanted to prove it did. But some people believe, as this doc does, that it has qualities that cannot be measured. He told me he'd had much better results prescribing laughter because it was the safest drug.

So, when it's getting you down and life is closing in, push it away with laughter. Lose yourself in laughter, let yourself go. The reason you are on the floor is in case you pass out and I actually did that one time, saw those little white lights right before I blacked out because I was truly lost in laughter. And you lose yourself in laughter; you change your perspective. Tensions released from the body and endorphins in the brain and whatever or whoever was getting you down is no longer important.
 

MWH1967

The Cook
Messages
7,114
Reaction score
9,465
Yep,yep.. I got a couple A-holes at work. It's called a "Job" for a reason . If it wasn't iT would be "vacation". I work in a small company that has for its volume a large out put. We do about 4.4 million a year and there is only 10 of us that work the store.

Lots of hard days and since it's a family business not all is fair. My sales manager started with the company and is my boss be default. I've forgotten more about what we do than she knows now. Great!!! salesman. HORRIBLE boss. I mumble to myself a lot, lets just put it that way.

Her daughter works there too and by rule is self entitled. See where i'm going with this?

Anyway, They pay me very well and the owner is Awesome!! There is not many businesses like ours in a 75 mile radius of where we live. so, what i specialize in, there are not a lot of opportunity's.

So, I've had to adopt this saying and I even have it on my desk. "Don't let your sense of pride get in the way of your sense of wellbeing".

PSSST...they don't get it...:lmao2:I love what I do so, it's not a job. I hate what I do because of the people. Oh, well, i'm still blessed.
 

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,964
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
If y'all think it's tough working for a boss, try being one. You are forced to interact with people you either don't like or don't have a lot of options to replace them. And you can't hide.

When I was in Southern OK, the talent pool was shallow as a pauper's grave and I would weigh replacing a 4 and trying to find a 7. The challenge was interviewing, I dreaded interviewing applicants as the 2's were just waiting out there. As much as I dreaded it, my employees loved it. It was like going to the freak show aisle at the fair.

I'd never watched The Office until after I'd hung it up but that band of misfits were 25 year gold watch people compared to what I'd actually hired, not just interviewed. I interviewed one guy that was so large his butt got stuck in one of my chairs and I had to pull it off of him and he wasn't even embarrassed. I had one saleswoman that on her first day on the street, after my repeated warnings that she would be qualified as a proctologist with the cold calls she would be making, come in burst into tears and quit. She promptly went to manage the gift shop at the hospital and was arrested for embezzling, the 4th woman arrested for that in 6 months in that town. Of course the newspaper had to front page here picture and mention her former employer.
 

aria

Well-Known Member
Messages
17,543
Reaction score
16,793
I’ve burned more vacation and sick time in the past year than I have in the previous 10 years TOTAL of my career. I love my job but I can’t wait for retirement. Lost a few friends and co workers lately then went on vacation a couple weeks ago and my first day back I was unfortunately part of the second worse thing I’ve ever seen at work and I’ll never be able to forget.

Schtuff gets old, I wish I could erase half of my memories.

Hang in there Scott, you’re not the only one.
 

DallasEast

Cowboys 24/7/365
Staff member
Messages
62,493
Reaction score
64,434
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
If y'all think it's tough working for a boss, try being one. You are forced to interact with people you either don't like or don't have a lot of options to replace them. And you can't hide.
Preach. I am a supervisor who has one single vented interviewee hired for my department in twelve years. My FTE allotment was 13 back then. Now it is down to five... and THAT is minus the aforementioned interviewee, who REPLACED an employee who quit but subsequently quit herself.

Then it was judged my FTE allotment should be downsized again. Unsurprisingly (to me), I ended up not being able to replace the replacement! Firing freezes can especially sickening when you know getting rid of a bad seed means you may not be able to gain a potential good seed. :(
 

Crazed Liotta Eyes

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,321
Reaction score
5,332
If y'all think it's tough working for a boss, try being one. You are forced to interact with people you either don't like or don't have a lot of options to replace them. And you can't hide.

When I was in Southern OK, the talent pool was shallow as a pauper's grave and I would weigh replacing a 4 and trying to find a 7. The challenge was interviewing, I dreaded interviewing applicants as the 2's were just waiting out there. As much as I dreaded it, my employees loved it. It was like going to the freak show aisle at the fair.

I'd never watched The Office until after I'd hung it up but that band of misfits were 25 year gold watch people compared to what I'd actually hired, not just interviewed. I interviewed one guy that was so large his butt got stuck in one of my chairs and I had to pull it off of him and he wasn't even embarrassed. I had one saleswoman that on her first day on the street, after my repeated warnings that she would be qualified as a proctologist with the cold calls she would be making, come in burst into tears and quit. She promptly went to manage the gift shop at the hospital and was arrested for embezzling, the 4th woman arrested for that in 6 months in that town. Of course the newspaper had to front page here picture and mention her former employer.
Luckily I don't have to do this any more but at one point at this job, I had to interview and hire game testers. We generally looked for 18-30 year old applicants that are big gamers. Plenty of those around but trying to find ones with a work ethic was nearly impossible. At one point I had all 5 of the ones I hired come into my office to tell me they were "frustrated" that I was pulling them in different directions. These guys were basically worthless and the project they had been hired for was almost over, so I solved their frustration by firing all of them on the spot.
 

Crazed Liotta Eyes

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,321
Reaction score
5,332
I’ve burned more vacation and sick time in the past year than I have in the previous 10 years TOTAL of my career. I love my job but I can’t wait for retirement. Lost a few friends and co workers lately then went on vacation a couple weeks ago and my first day back I was unfortunately part of the second worse thing I’ve ever seen at work and I’ll never be able to forget.

Schtuff gets old, I wish I could erase half of my memories.

Hang in there Scott, you’re not the only one.
Thanks man. I'm feeling a little better the last couple of days. Hearing that you experienced the second worse thing of your career makes me shudder after some of the stuff you've told me. You hang in there as well.
 

aria

Well-Known Member
Messages
17,543
Reaction score
16,793
Thanks man. I'm feeling a little better the last couple of days. Hearing that you experienced the second worse thing of your career makes me shudder after some of the stuff you've told me. You hang in there as well.
Not gonna lie or play tough guy, it was bad man. Really, really, really bad. The stuff nightmares are made of but at least nightmares aren’t real.

Glad to hear your doing better buddy, we all have ups and downs. As Dimebag Darrell once said on a receipt he autographed for me and I now have tattooed on my chest with my eagle “Hang strong, roll on”. I think of that term all the time and it helps me. I also think of The Dude’s quote from Big Lebowski “Oh, ****” lol.
 

CF74

Vet Min Plus
Messages
26,167
Reaction score
14,623
I told off one of my supervisors today and got sent home. Without going into detail I’ll just say that 70% of the success we’ve been having since I was hired came because of me. This guy I told off does nothing but take long cigarette breaks and monkey freaks everything up all the time. Then he comes back and tries to give orders on things that are already done. It’s a real cluster.

The boss above him told me in front of him just two days ago that I was going to call the shots going fwd. So today when this waste of space tried to tell what to do I went off on him. Mainly because it was chaos that he initially created himself. I said are u asking to clean up your mess for you? No, uhhhh.. I cut him off sharply. Good then get out of my face!!! I said a lot of other stuff, they had to send me home.

I told the top boss I said look, this dude is deliberately sabotaging the process. I explained myself, cussed some more, then went on my way.

The good news is that If I get canned tomorrow at least it will be on a Friday....
 

Crazed Liotta Eyes

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,321
Reaction score
5,332
I told off one of my supervisors today and got sent home. Without going into detail I’ll just say that 70% of the success we’ve been having since I was hired came because of me. This guy I told off does nothing but take long cigarette breaks and monkey freaks everything up all the time. Then he comes back and tries to give orders on things that are already done. It’s a real cluster.

The boss above him told me in front of him just two days ago that I was going to call the shots going fwd. So today when this waste of space tried to tell what to do I went off on him. Mainly because it was chaos that he initially created himself. I said are u asking to clean up your mess for you? No, uhhhh.. I cut him off sharply. Good then get out of my face!!! I said a lot of other stuff, they had to send me home.

I told the top boss I said look, this dude is deliberately sabotaging the process. I explained myself, cussed some more, then went on my way.

The good news is that If I get canned tomorrow at least it will be on a Friday....
Ugh, that sucks man. Nothing worse than an incompetent supervisor who still acts like they know what they're doing. I'm a bit of a hot head at work and people get nervous when I get pissed off and break out the Crazed Liotta Eyes, including my boss. He does not want me leaving.
 

CF74

Vet Min Plus
Messages
26,167
Reaction score
14,623
Ugh, that sucks man. Nothing worse than an incompetent supervisor who still acts like they know what they're doing. I'm a bit of a hot head at work and people get nervous when I get pissed off and break out the Crazed Liotta Eyes, including my boss. He does not want me leaving.

This is actually the third time I chew this buffoon out. Only difference is this time I was given authority over him. It will be interesting tomorrow....
 

Montanalo

Well-Known Member
Messages
4,493
Reaction score
11,704
CowboysZone DIEHARD Fan
I loved my job and, for that matter, my career and profession... that is, until the moment I decided to retire.

All the little company idiosyncrasies that I grudgingly accepted - endless meetings to decide the next meeting, continual focus on efficiency and productive without actually doing anything about it, the mindless attention to office based safety while giving lip service to our high risk operations, processes for everything - struck me as entirely wasteful and silly.

Sure, I vented along the way, changed things where I could, but in the end, the best thing I ever did for myself was retire.

About six months after retiring, I realized just how burned out I was. Whether I retired or not, it was long past the date for a radical change.
 

CouchCoach

Staff member
Messages
41,122
Reaction score
74,964
CowboysZone ULTIMATE Fan
I burned out on life in 2016, I'd had all I wanted and just wanted it to go away. I retired, moved down here to hide. But I found that I was trying to hide from myself. I'd always detested my jobs, eventually found something wrong with every place I lived and happiness was out of reach because I wasn't deserving of happiness.

When you're feeling stressed out about that job or just your life in general, time to take inventory of yourself and do the gut check that only you can do for yourself. Might be something deeper causing you some concern, something unresolved about yourself. Something you can do something about to lighten the load on the surface aggravations. And ultimately lighten the load on your life. Recognizing cause and symtpom in our own lives, and particularly the difference, is an arduous task.

I've had too many friends make changes in their lives like divorce or other life altering moves only to find out that wasn't the problem. They'd become dependent on someone else to make them happy and too often we can't even answer the simple question "what would make us happy"? I still can't, I just try to remove the unhappy elements and that started just this last year and I shared that with my fellow Pops posters.

I have a friend in Dallas that is a therapist, she's just a friend and I've never seen her professionally but I saw her last year after my self revelation for cocktails and if it's anyone that deserves to drink it's got to be someone in that profession. She'd worried about me after so much loss in a short period of time because she'd always known my moodiness. After about an hour, she remarked "you look different, you actually look like you've chased the dark clouds away". She knew I wasn't a big supporter of therapy and especially Psychiatry as we'd had many a deep discussion about the mind and it's mysteries and ineptitude to address them.

I looked her in the eyes and said "I tried to run away and hide but I couldn't. I made a decision that if I was going to go on, I wasn't taking any more guilt with me so I decided to forgive myself. Forgive myself for not being the son, husband, father or friend that I felt I should have been because I can't fix most of that now. The past kept chasing me wherever I went". She just smiled and said "thanks for doing my job for me. That's what I do, try to get people to forgive themselves". It's that simple, that's really what they do.

I am not saying Crazy has this problem or any of those that might be stressed or unhappy. But many times, the anger, frustration and irritation with others is really deeper than that, just waiting for resolution. We really are our own best therapists because if we choose to be, we can be brutally honest with the only person in the world that can truly forgive us.
 
Top