nobody
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Subconsciously or consciously? I ask because Kal-El has always consciously controlled himself. There were examples of his superhuman self-aware restraint even in the movies like Superman: The Movie and Man of Steel. As far as video media is concerned, I believe DC summed up his never-ending predicament in the episode Destroyer--which was the series finale of Justice League Unlimited:
The animated movie, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, is based on Earth-1's universe (I think)--which is DC's primary reality. I was tempted to post a clip from a Supergirl television series episode, which showed Supergirl beating Superman but her series is based on Earth-38 and definitely an alternate reality like the Arrowverse.
Getting back to S/B:A, Batman explains his rationale for why Kara may be stronger than Kal-El. I clipped the scene from HBO Max and uploaded it to YouTube. I couldn't find it already posted on YouTube. Why can't thousands and thousands of other people make this easy for me to post here?
Kal-El has the superior edge on Kara Zor-El in experience though.
I have disagree. I think Kal-El is far stronger. However, he has more psychological limits from being raised human. Kara was mostly raised Kryptonian and thus will hold back far less. After all, he's been on Earth far longer and had more time to absorb the effects of the Yellow sun longer. That's shown in various stories where he's spent time in the Sun for a long time and come out godlike. Kara being stronger was a far more recent change and one that never really made sense unless it has more to do with psychology and how they were raised, which is psychological.