Since you are so committed to the investigative process, here is some knowledge for you. Statement analysis is something that I have done for a long time and it works, I am a believer in it as it is a great investigative tool. Granted, you won't get convictions off statement analysis alone, but it helps you zero in. Here is a link to a statement analysis done on Tom Brady's comments. Interesting what it comes up with.....I am sure you will discount it though as it doesn't fit with your narrative.
http://www.statementanalysis.com/deflategate/