Right. So let's pretty much end this thread before people are calling each other out for being terrible parents and "Oh noes you don't parent how I think you should"
Kids are like marbles. You have a big bag and when you're fortunate (Or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) to have one, you're picking from a 100 different flavors from that bag. Sure, they'll share some of your traits and then you'll tend to notice when they're at those ages, logic and reasonable approaches to life and situations aren't always at the top of their list.
It's important, in my opinion anyway, to tackle problems with a ladder style approach. Start small, if these small things don't get the point across then try going up a rung. All the while, yes communication is important. There is nothing wrong with reprimanding your child by spanking them to send a message. The problem is the spankings without lines of communications. Obviously, spankings shouldn't be at the top of your list (This is going for smaller children) and should be reserved as a last line of defense.
I got them when I was little and don't at all hate or resent my parents for it. The problem in my opinion is that the level of respect now is pretty low. Spankings now can be considered child abuse and some children simply do not respond to the talk it out approach. Sometimes, you have to send the message in a much more stern way. For this guy, perhaps ruining her laptop was how he did it. It's not so much how he did it, that he did it that is important to me. If he wasn't a gun nut, he probably would have just threw it off a bridge, same result.
You can't use your exact experiences with your own children and apply that to other people's children. It just does not work that way. Sure, there are tools and methods you can use to help you but they are not end all be all solutions. If there were solutions to being parents and an easy way out, we wouldn't have shows and books that try and help you "figure it out".
