Guy who used Facebook to reprimand his daughter Q & A

[MonsterD]

I am only going to say this much, whether strict parents want to ignore this or not, a lot, a whole whole lot of kids THINK what that girl typed out. Trying to change their minds is much more difficult than policing their actions.

 

[Cythim]

I am only going to say this much, whether strict parents want to ignore this or not, a lot, a whole whole lot of kids THINK what that girl typed out. Trying to change their minds is much more difficult than policing their actions.

I thought it as a kid and probably said as much to my friends at school. Google defines chore as "An unpleasant but necessary task" and most kids don't like doing them. The difference between then and now is Facebook as a medium for communication with friends.

 

[tupperware]

Right. So let's pretty much end this thread before people are calling each other out for being terrible parents and "Oh noes you don't parent how I think you should"

Kids are like marbles. You have a big bag and when you're fortunate (Or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) to have one, you're picking from a 100 different flavors from that bag. Sure, they'll share some of your traits and then you'll tend to notice when they're at those ages, logic and reasonable approaches to life and situations aren't always at the top of their list.

It's important, in my opinion anyway, to tackle problems with a ladder style approach. Start small, if these small things don't get the point across then try going up a rung. All the while, yes communication is important. There is nothing wrong with reprimanding your child by spanking them to send a message. The problem is the spankings without lines of communications. Obviously, spankings shouldn't be at the top of your list (This is going for smaller children) and should be reserved as a last line of defense.

I got them when I was little and don't at all hate or resent my parents for it. The problem in my opinion is that the level of respect now is pretty low. Spankings now can be considered child abuse and some children simply do not respond to the talk it out approach. Sometimes, you have to send the message in a much more stern way. For this guy, perhaps ruining her laptop was how he did it. It's not so much how he did it, that he did it that is important to me. If he wasn't a gun nut, he probably would have just threw it off a bridge, same result.

You can't use your exact experiences with your own children and apply that to other people's children. It just does not work that way. Sure, there are tools and methods you can use to help you but they are not end all be all solutions. If there were solutions to being parents and an easy way out, we wouldn't have shows and books that try and help you "figure it out".

 

[VietCowboy]

I have a 16 year old who knows he can't get away with anything. He has never been spanked and rarely gets grounded, he does his chores without complaint and seems like a happy kid. It is amazing how good a child can turn out with good parenting.

I think temperament also plays a lot in how good a child can turn out. A well-tempered easy-going resilient child can do very well with even bad parenting, whereas an easy irritable highly sensitive difficult child will need a very enriching environment and authoritative parenting style to be successful.

 

[Cythim]

I think temperament also plays a lot in how good a child can turn out. A well-tempered easy-going resilient child can do very well with even bad parenting, whereas an easy irritable highly sensitive difficult child will need a very enriching environment and authoritative parenting style to be successful.

You are right, but temperament can also be modified with parenting so that an easily irritable highly sensitive difficult child is easier to handle. If children are worse than they used to be it is because parents are also worse than they used to be.

 

[casmith07]

I got a whipping/spanking one time with one of those orange extension cords.

Might as well been a cat-o-nine tails.

Me and pops are best buds to this day. *shrug*

 

[vta]

I got a whipping/spanking one time with one of those orange extension cords.

Might as well been a cat-o-nine tails.

Me and pops are best buds to this day. *shrug*

Man that beats the crap out of mom's wooden spoon.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I can see how when there is an issue, its rational and valuable to try and sit down with your child and discuss things openly.. and how keeping an open line of communication with your children can have a very positive effect on the relationship you have with them.

Who's more likely to act up? The child who has parents who when he/she does something wrong, they try and talk to them and explain why what they did was wrong and if there is a punishment, what it is and why they have to punish them?

Or the child who does something wrong and the parent just beats them or flips out and punishes them with no discussion about what happened ever occuring or makes a social media video to publicly humiliate the girl in front of all her friends and their parents so that every time she steps foot out of her house, she'll be berated and harassed about it?

Now, sure, talking to you child and trying to reasonably discuss things with them isn't always going to work.. no kidding. However, at least making the effort and having your child know that they can always come to you and discuss things with you or that you will always be level headed about the things they do wrong can only have a positive effect on a child.

In this particular case, the route this guy chose to go by making a video to put on social media and using a gun to put 8 bullets in her laptop computer is just senseless and idiotic. What is to be learned?

If you don't like that your kid has a temper tantrum publicly, you're going to go in public and embarass her right back?

Doesn't make much sense, imo.. that teaches the child nothing.

And you know he didn't try to have this conversation you are so hung up on in the past?

What doesn't make any sense is you are trying to "parent" from a you tube video. That is hilarious.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I got a whipping/spanking one time with one of those orange extension cords.

Might as well been a cat-o-nine tails.

Me and pops are best buds to this day. *shrug*

Wait a minute. If this is true, how much time did you spend in the mental ward from the emotional torment this caused? And how did you rebel once this happened because according to all the Dr. Phils on here, you should have.

 

[cowboyeric8]

I got a whipping/spanking one time with one of those orange extension cords.

Might as well been a cat-o-nine tails.

Me and pops are best buds to this day. *shrug*

Hotwheel track

 

[RoyTheHammer]

Hotwheel track

Hotwheel track?

 

[RoyTheHammer]

What doesn't make any sense is he is trying to "parent" through a Youtube video. That is hilarious.

Fixed it for ya. Pretty silly, isn't it?

 

[Idgit]

I got a whipping/spanking one time with one of those orange extension cords.

Might as well been a cat-o-nine tails.

Me and pops are best buds to this day. *shrug*

Ma broke a yardstick on my butt. I laughed. Dad came home, not so much laughing going on. Always with his hand, and always only on my butt, but he could pack a wallop.

My littlest boy got caught sneaking his PSP that he'd previously been grounded from. Snuck out of the house of the neighbor who was watching him, crawled through our doggie door, got the PSP, and brought it across the street. Forgot to put it back when we came to get him. It was brand new, he'd gotten it two weeks earlier for his birthday.

We calmly sat him down that night and had him type of the letter himself: "Dear Craigslist. PSP, barely used, charger included. Looking for a good home." He screamed like a stuck pig the whole time. "No, daddy, please! I promise!" No need to promise son, just need to understand that there are rules in this house and consequences for breaking them. PSPs and laptops come and go. Object lessons for raising your children don't come around that often, and if you don't use them when they present themselves, your kids don't learn and you're not doing your job as a parent. There are worse things than losing a laptop and being embarrassed in front of your friends for your own bad behavior.

 

[kimrose]

Hotwheel track

That's the one! I watched my big brother get whipped with The Track (as we knew it) so many times, I didn't need it used on me once. I learned the lessons he couldn't seem to get through his thick skull.

My Granny used The Switch on my cousins. Boy, that was painful to watch. I never needed that, either. They weren't the quickest of learners either.:laugh1:

I learned through their pain and embarrassment what I did not want to happen to me. I was, therefore, a very good child. lol. I also just had an inborn peacefulness and level of respect that I guess most kids just don't have. I don't know. I had great parents. My brother was also hyperactive and had issues dealing with his deadbeat father (my dad was his step-dad, but was very kind to him, to a fault). My mother was the disciplinarian in our house.

But with all the childhood misbehaving, most of us turned out alright. And there was never any disrespecting our elders, not the way I see some of these kids today, being so rude to everyone. It's like young society is just trying to be a bunch of punks today, trying to out-tough each other. We as a society were a more respectful bunch, regardless of how many house rules we needed spankings for. We did say yes ma'am, we did smile at people. We did not look at people as if to say, "what are you looking at??" Today so many young people seem to dare you if you look at them. And you never know what they are going to say. It baffles me.

 

[casmith07]

Wait a minute. If this is true, how much time did you spend in the mental ward from the emotional torment this caused? And how did you rebel once this happened because according to all the Dr. Phils on here, you should have.

I grew up, went to the military academy, started law school in 2010, and became a moderator on the finest website on the internet last year.

I'm scarred for life :

Hotwheel track

THOSE hurt too. My brother and I got a whuppin' once for hitting each other with those.

Ma broke a yardstick on my butt. I laughed. Dad came home, not so much laughing going on. Always with his hand, and always only on my butt, but he could pack a wallop.

My littlest boy got caught sneaking his PSP that he'd previously been grounded from. Snuck out of the house of the neighbor who was watching him, crawled through our doggie door, got the PSP, and brought it across the street. Forgot to put it back when we came to get him. It was brand new, he'd gotten it two weeks earlier for his birthday.

We calmly sat him down that night and had him type of the letter himself: "Dear Craigslist. PSP, barely used, charger included. Looking for a good home." He screamed like a stuck pig the whole time. "No, daddy, please! I promise!" No need to promise son, just need to understand that there are rules in this house and consequences for breaking them. PSPs and laptops come and go. Object lessons for raising your children don't come around that often, and if you don't use them when they present themselves, your kids don't learn and you're not doing your job as a parent. There are worse things than losing a laptop and being embarrassed in front of your friends for your own bad behavior.

Man that Craigslist one is good. That's a great technique. He'll probably never sneak anything when grounded ever again.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Fixed it for ya. Pretty silly, isn't it?

Actually no.

 

[MetalHead]

It is very easy in this thread to find out who has kids and who does not.

 

[vta]

It is very easy in this thread to find out who has kids and who does not.

The one's in favor of spanking have? :laugh2:

 

[ragman]

Wonder if Dad has realized that it'll be his daughter who will decide what nursing home he goes into?

 

[Hoofbite]

Man that beats the crap out of mom's wooden spoon.

My mom never actually put it use but she would grab the spoon and show me the "just give me a reason" look.

She did however slap the ever loving crap out of me when I mouthed off a little more than usual.

I was probably 5-6'' taller than her at the time but that one slap pretty much put the situation to rest.