I'm building a time machine so I can make out with Maria

[OmerV]

Do it, that way they'll never make the movie, and I'll never have to hear Celine Dion sing that horrid song!

YES!!!!!

 

[Runwildboys]

Yes, that's exactly the reason I'm considering doing it. I know how traumatized you've been by that song and I'm trying to help you out. I don't give a crap about the 1500 who died. I'm concerned with all the poor souls who had to suffer through that song. Some people froze to death or drowned? Pfffft! That's nothing compared to having to listen to Celine Dion.

Thank you, that's very gracious!

 

[Runwildboys]

I'm in! What about Maria … does she have a sister or good lookin cousin?

She was the Czar's daughter. She could get you anyone you point to.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I'm in! What about Maria … does she have a sister or good lookin cousin?

She had three good looking sisters, but one (Anastasia) was underage. Olga and Titiana were of age and were hot. Take your pick. Be careful though. A Bolshevik soldier was caught making out with Maria, and his commander was so mad he took him out and had him shot. Those Bolsheviks were in a bad mood a lot.

 

[OmerV]

She was the Czar's daughter. She could get you anyone you point to.

That's true. You're a smart man. You should come along as an advisor.

 

[OmerV]

She had three good looking sisters, but one (Anastasia) was underage. Olga and Titiana were of age and were hot. Take your pick.

I'll take Olga AND Titiana, and when Anastasia gets a little older I'll bring her into the fold.

Of course, I'm also apparently a dirty old man that physically might have some difficulty keeping up with one young lass, much less 3.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I'll take Olga AND Titiana, and while Anastasia gets a little older I'll bring her into the fold.

Of course, I'm also apparently a dirty old man that physically might have some difficulty keeping up with one young lass, much less 3.

Anastasia was 17, so if you rescue them, she's only a year away.

 

[OmerV]

Anastasia was 17, so if you rescue them, she's only a year away.

It will be one hell of a birthday bash!

 

[Reverend Conehead]

It will be one hell of a birthday bash!

We'll rescue their whole family, but we have to be careful. The commies were ruthless in how they executed them. If we're not careful, we'll end up getting shot by the Bolsheviks too.

 

[OmerV]

We'll rescue their whole family, but we have to be careful. The commies were ruthless in how they executed them. If we're not careful, we'll end up getting shot by the Bolsheviks too.

I'll bring vodka.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I'll bring vodka.

Nah, just bring gold. Early 20th century Russian vodka is extraordinary. We'll buy it all there.

 

[Runwildboys]

I'll bring vodka.

and Kevlar.

 

[DallasEast]

Time machine?

Please. That is outdated 21st century thinking.

What you really need is an old dilapidated Klingon Bird of Prey. Set course straight for the Sun at Warp Factor Scotty. Veer off at the last moment. Whip around the Sun. Cross your fingers the braking thrusters kick in at the last possible moment and PRESTO!!!!! There be whales here!



~Courtesy of an old Star Trek nerd~

 

[OmerV]

and Kevlar.

See, there you go again, showing why it is so necessary to take you along as an advisor.

 

[Runwildboys]

Time machine?

Please. That is outdated 21st century thinking.

What you really need is an old dilapidated Klingon Bird of Prey. Set course straight for the Sun at Warp Factor Scotty. Veer off at the last moment. Whip around the Sun. Cross your fingers the braking thrusters kick in at the last possible moment and PRESTO!!!!! There be whales here!



~Courtesy of an old Star Trek nerd~

But if the time machine glitches, you just kick it a few times. If the Bird of Prey glitches..........SPLASH! (I'm guessing that's what it would sound like inside the ship, when they hit the sun's surface.)

 

[dreghorn2]

Forget the real Anastasia, i'd settle for the confused girl who thought she was the Czars' daughter in the movie (Ingrid Bergman), always had a thing for her.

There is a documentary called Scotty, the secret history of Hollywood, in which Scotty claims to have had a threesome with Ava Gardner and Lana Turner which in my mind is like winning two lotteries in the same week.

Word of warning regarding that documentary, it exposes the private life of a great many Hollywood stars from back in the day, might ruin some memories and movies for people.

I repeat.. warning !!

 

[shabazz]

I want to go back and be with her from the 1800s

Isn't that a young Elizabeth Warren?

 

[JohnnyTheFox]

Isn't that a young Elizabeth Warren?

Shame on you, that man doesn't look anything like this beautiful woman.

 

[SlammedZero]

You must have quite the attraction to her to be willing to go back and alter the entire universal timeline that you currently know for a make-out session. The second you enter that time period, you would split off time into a completely alternative timeline. And then again once you made out with her. From there it becomes a spiderweb of alternative timelines and universes branching out.

 

[Runwildboys]

You must have quite the attraction to her to be willing to go back and alter the entire universal timeline that you currently know for a make-out session. The second you enter that time period, you would split off time into a completely alternative timeline. And then again once you made out with her. From there it becomes a spiderweb of alternative timelines and universes branching out.

Or:

There's only a fixed amount of matter in our reality, and any more matter added or subtracted could meet with devastating results. If he were to leave this reality and travel back in time to her reality, he might cause her world to explode, and ours to implode.