Longtime Girfriend Is Moving Away

[NeonDeion21]

Sigh. My girlfriend is going away for 5 months at a time for the next few years. She will be back for a few months, then she will go again for mission trips.

Any suggestions on how to handle the distance and to pass the time?

 

[Dallas]

Sigh. My girlfriend is going away for 5 months at a time for the next few years. She will be back for a few months, then she will go again for mission trips.

Any suggestions on how to handle the distance and to pass the time?

Honestly, and I don't mean to make you feel bad but this just screams of not working out. I would honestly prepare myself and would seriously consider your lives at w/e age you are at and would just move on. It seems you both are in different stages of your lives right now.

It's painful to lose someone you truly care about but you can always remain friends. It really depends on how mature the both of you are and how realistic you think your relationship truly has of "making" it in this extreme situation and distance.

From my experience w/ my friends and myself, it never does work out in the end. Usually its just broken off or someone finds some other person to take up that time while the other person isn't there. Im not saying she would cheat on you or you her, but lets not kid ourselves, we are humans, and it's typical to do those things. We seek to fill the void so to speak, and 5 years and months apart regularly, is very difficult on both parties.

Hate to be a harbinger about it but it's a very difficult situation and the emotion of being apart truly isn't worth it as far as I am concerned.


Sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks.

 

[baj1dallas]

how old are the two of you, where do you live now?

 

[VietCowboy]

The key is communication. Plan to talk face-to-face (via webcam) or talk on the phone/skype, etc at least once a week if not more. E-mail daily. Remind each other of why you love them often. Send local items or keepsakes so that you guys can both feel connected.

If you guys have a conflict, don't use the distance as an excuse to not resolve it, it won't go away just because you don't talk about it. Like any relationship, make sure you stay honest about your feelings. If you are feeling things are getting too hard, let your partner know, maybe she/he feels the same way. Work together to overcome the bouts of missing each other.

 

[Stautner]

5 months at a time for several years with only short times together in between? Sounds like a bad omen to me. It's rare for those things to work out, especially if you are young and still maturing and finding your place in the world. If that is your situation, then so much will be changing without her being a part of it that it will be very tough to stay together. You sure don't want to put up a roadblock to your progress in life by clinging to something that isn't going to work out.

 

[JohnnyHopkins]

CowboysZone

 

[basstapp]

Long distance relationships can work. I married my wife and I live in Georgia and she was from Calgary, Alberta. Depending where she is going you can use skype to keep in contact and open communication through the whole thing. It will probably be best to decide if this is something you want to do because its not easy staying taken when your actually living a single life, just sayin.

 

[zrinkill]

If you are under 25 its over for now.

If you are over 25 .... go with her if you love her.

 

[Dallas]

The key is communication. Plan to talk face-to-face (via webcam) or talk on the phone/skype, etc at least once a week if not more. E-mail daily. Remind each other of why are love them often. Send local items or keepsakes so that you guys can both feel connected.

If you guys have a conflict, don't use the distance as an excuse to not resolve it, it won't go away just because you don't talk about it. Like any relationship, make sure you stay honest about your feelings. If you are feeling things are getting too hard, let your partner know, maybe she/he feels the same way. Work together to overcome the bouts of missing each other.

Over 5 years?

No offense but you watch to many movies. Give him your honest success rate of a situation like this.

I would say 80-20 it doesn't work. Im sorry, I get tired of hearing people not being realistic about relationships. A partner in a situation like this knowing that it most likely won't work out, wouldnt put themselves in the situation in the first place for it not to if they truly wanted it to work out.

 

[Dallas]

Long distance relationships can work. I married my wife and I live in Georgia and she was from Calgary, Alberta. Depending where she is going you can use skype to keep in contact and open communication through the whole thing. It will probably be best to decide if this is something you want to do because its not easy staying taken when your actually living a single life, just sayin.

You did that all over 5 years w/ 5-6 month seperations at a time before getting married? Really?

 

[Doomsday101]

Sigh. My girlfriend is going away for 5 months at a time for the next few years. She will be back for a few months, then she will go again for mission trips.

Any suggestions on how to handle the distance and to pass the time?

So what is her new address? :laugh2:

 

[NeonDeion21]

So what is her new address? :laugh2:

:laugh2: I'm not very good at sharing. :laugh1:

 

[DallasCowpoke]

Any suggestions on how to handle the distance and to pass the time?

​

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

If it is meant to be it is meant to be...whether good or bad for you.

Wish you the best in your relationship.

I guess if she has internet abilities (computers or phones) you could exchange emails or maybe even video chats.

However if she is very busy it might be extremely limited.

 

[Stautner]

:laugh2: I'm not very good at sharing. :laugh1:

I'm not sure he intended to share her with you.

 

[Doomsday101]

:laugh2: I'm not very good at sharing. :laugh1:

Ah right be that way. :laugh2:

 

[DFWJC]

Honestly, and I don't mean to make you feel bad but this just screams of not working out. I would honestly prepare myself and would seriously consider your lives at w/e age you are at and would just move on. It seems you both are in different stages of your lives right now.

It's painful to lose someone you truly care about but you can always remain friends. It really depends on how mature the both of you are and how realistic you think your relationship truly has of "making" it in this extreme situation and distance.

From my experience w/ my friends and myself, it never does work out in the end. Usually its just broken off or someone finds some other person to take up that time while the other person isn't there. Im not saying she would cheat on you or you her, but lets not kid ourselves, we are humans, and it's typical to do those things. We seek to fill the void so to speak, and 5 years and months apart regularly, is very difficult on both parties.

Hate to be a harbinger about it but it's a very difficult situation and the emotion of being apart truly isn't worth it as far as I am concerned.


Sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks.

That's a lot of assumptions from so very little data.:laugh2:


Of course, it's a good guess to say a non-married relationship won't work out...regardless of the distance.
I wonder what the odds of two people dating and ending up married is? 5-10% at best.

 

[Dallas]

That's a lot of assumptions from so very little data.:laugh2:

What am I assuming? I have had experience in situations similar to this as well as numerous friends of mine. It's called giving advice from my experiences, which is KIND OF what the author asked for.

Is that truly hard to grasp for you? :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

 

[NeonDeion21]

That's a lot of assumptions from so very little data.:laugh2:

:laugh2: We'll I can say this. I am very dedicated on making the relationship work so I guess you can only wait and see, right?

 

[Dallas]

:laugh2: We'll I can say this. I am very dedicated on making the relationship work so I guess you can only wait and see, right?

I wish you success, I truly do.