Making or Keeping Cowboys Fans Happy

Hostile;3814160 said:
I knew I could do it. I am the little engine that could.

this was too good to pass up :D
You set yourself up on that one Hos! All aboard Hostile says! :D
[youtube]bmuPE9p4gv8&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]kxeLR_To0lc&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]LoVRV_xGEqc&feature=related[/youtube]
 
Hostile;3814002 said:
I think I have finally figured this out. All the Cowboys need to do to make and/or keep the fans happy is the following.

1. Win every game by covering the point spreads no matter how big.

2. Hire only the best coaches and have them committed to this team with no desire to become a Head Coach or Coordinator somewhere else and still not a be a puppet to the GM somehow.

3. Draft Pro Bowl caliber players in every round and somehow manage to keep all of them despite future drafts where we acquire more Pro Bowl caliber players, Free Agency, and a salary cap.

4. If we somehow miss on a Pro Bowl draft pick, trade him to someone else for their Pro Bowl player who will play here for less money because when we fart little rainbows fly out of our bum.

5. Win every Super Bowl.

I am quite fond of saying "learn the game." I think I finally have. This is fun.

you forgot get 10 sacks per game, 3 INTs 2 fumble recoveries, never turn it over, score every possession and get nothing but 3 and outs on defence
 
stasheroo;3814278 said:
So what was the true point of this thread then? I'd be interested in that insight. I see no point in starting another pissing contest around here. Nothing positive results from threads like these.
To poke fun at everyone. Did you not notice that I said "I finally figured out the game?"

I didn't read that post, but if someone had started a thread about it, I'd be just as critical. And for the record, I'm not preaching, I don't know what you're so mad about but I have no interest in getting into a sparring match over nonsense like this. I'd much rather discuss positives like who we'll hopefully be getting as defensive coaches or talking about the upcoming draft.
You've got to be kidding. You accuse me of being condescending and starting an unecessary thread and I should be bubbly and effusive? In what freaked out, screwed up world?

The thread was completely in jest, tongue in cheek, hyperbole and naturally some people have to feel attacked. For the love of sanity how?
 
Hostile;3814381 said:
To poke fun at everyone. Did you not notice that I said "I finally figured out the game?"

You've got to be kidding. You accuse me of being condescending and starting an unecessary thread and I should be bubbly and effusive? In what freaked out, screwed up world?

The thread was completely in jest, tongue in cheek, hyperbole and naturally some people have to feel attacked. For the love of sanity how?

I guess it just doesn't translate well in printed form.
 
Fat Toad;3814015 said:
6. Never wear ballcaps backwards.
Reality;3814102 said:
List looks great .. you forgot one thing though .. you need to add:

6. Listen intently to every sports writer or commentator, especially those working for ESPN, for any coach or player criticisms so we can fire or cut them immediately so we can find their replacement, who is much better, later that the same day.

-Reality
CanadianCowboysFan;3814363 said:
you forgot get 10 sacks per game, 3 INTs 2 fumble recoveries, never turn it over, score every possession and get nothing but 3 and outs on defence
9. Have a dedicated phone in case of injuries programmed with hotline numbers such as (#1) 1-800-QTR-BACK (#2) 1-800-WID-RCVR (#3) 1-800-CRN-BACK, etc., etc.
 
stasheroo;3814390 said:
I guess it just doesn't translate well in printed form.
Oops.



jswalker1981;3814012 said:
:bow:

Don't forget that if a player went to a pro bowl, but fails to do so every year, he automatically sucks and should be cut with no idea on who can replace him.

Also, we need to draft a QB in the first round every year.

Fat Toad;3814015 said:
6. Never wear ballcaps backwards.

HoosierCowboy;3814049 said:
if a player does not improve significantly over the previous year, cut him and draft the best college player at that position in the 6th round



EXCELLENT POST, HOSTILE!

TonyS;3814080 said:
It only took Hostile 91,530 posts to figure us out! :D

justbob;3814088 said:
Do ya think , Hos;)

Reality;3814102 said:
List looks great .. you forgot one thing though .. you need to add:

6. Listen intently to every sports writer or commentator, especially those working for ESPN, for any coach or player criticisms so we can fire or cut them immediately so we can find their replacement, who is much better, later that the same day.

-Reality

Everlastingxxx;3814143 said:
Great! When can this be implemented?

Seven;3814250 said:
Nope. Not even close. You only have five. Thre's at least a bajillion things to do. All clustered in a million different groups with tens of thousands of different game day perspectives. Sorry, Hos. This would be like the family dog. Perfect in every way. Brings you your slippers, yet still can't figure out why he keeps pissin' in the house.

Zaxor;3814301 said:
I hope no one takes offense to the OP but that has to be one of the funniest posts on this site in a long while...nicely done Hostile
They all got it.
 
10. Sing the praises of billboard investing and "covert undercover" boycotts.
 
Apollo Creed;3814282 said:
Meh.

Most fans of any sports team are stupid and impulsive. Because the majority of the general population are. Cowboy fans are no different than any other fans. A small percentage are rational and patient, but most of them are, well, stupid and impulsive.

No sense in complaining about it.

Our percentages are different. We've got more bandwagon fans than other teams do, and bandwagon fans tend to be the ones with the most elastic opinions.

Plus, we've got a lot more entitled fans than other clubs do because we've got a history of success and are in the middle of a very long dry spell. That's a recipe for discontent.

So, Hos is well within his rights to poke fun at the perpetually disgruntled. There's no pleasing some of them, and if we can't realize that, make light of it, and get past it, then Cowboys boards in general are going to be very contentious places.

As to the koolaid drinkers who never see anything negative about the team...I'm wondering who those posters are, exactly. I'm one of the more pro-team, pro-administration posters on the site, and I've been appropriately critical of any of a number of coaches, position coaches, players, and position groups. I've criticized talent, coaching, our focus, execution, and preparation. I've yet to see a single poster who has no significant, material criticism of the team this season, or over the last several seasons. Yet we keep alluding to their existence when we talk about blind Cowboys homers. I don't think they exist, but I'm interested in examples from anybody who actually does.
 
11. Create a dedicated chat page for Troy Aikman to read from, designed for fans to post only those comments he should recite during games.
 
stasheroo;3814413 said:
OK.

I guess I'm the dumb one then.
One? Hardly. You had at least one accomplice who donned the martyr robes........again.
 
12. Spend tens of millions of dollars to remove the roof from Cowboys Stadium (every fan does not want this but some cannot get beyond this fact and we do wish to please everyone).
 
stasheroo;3814413 said:
OK.

I guess I'm the dumb one then.

No, you had it right the first time. It was yet another ******** attack on "the great unwashed" i.e. honest fans who don't take their marching orders from Jerry. Free advice: Don't argue with water carriers. They have no shame.
 
13. Never speak of Dallas Cowboys history. It is not relevant now and should remain unspoken forever. "Tom Landry??? Who cares???" [ Sometime in the future, another Cowboys head coach will become successful and this will automatically change to "Jimmy Johnson??? Who cares???" ]
 
14. Do not complain about complainers complaining about the so-called "lack" of stadium noise inside Cowboys Stadium on gameday.
 
Idgit;3814410 said:
Our percentages are different. We've got more bandwagon fans than other teams do, and bandwagon fans tend to be the ones with the most elastic opinions.

Plus, we've got a lot more entitled fans than other clubs do because we've got a history of success and are in the middle of a very long dry spell. That's a recipe for discontent.

So, Hos is well within his rights to poke fun at the perpetually disgruntled. There's no pleasing some of them, and if we can't realize that, make light of it, and get past it, then Cowboys boards in general are going to be very contentious places.

As to the koolaid drinkers who never see anything negative about the team...I'm wondering who those posters are, exactly. I'm one of the more pro-team, pro-administration posters on the site, and I've been appropriately critical of any of a number of coaches, position coaches, players, and position groups. I've criticized talent, coaching, our focus, execution, and preparation. I've yet to see a single poster who has no significant, material criticism of the team this season, or over the last several seasons. Yet we keep alluding to their existence when we talk about blind Cowboys homers. I don't think they exist, but I'm interested in examples from anybody who actually does.

The kool-aid drinkers stand directly opposite of the 'clueless crowd' who 'don't know the game' and have 'no idea what they're talking about' and just simply 'complain about everything'.

Paint using a broad brush on one side, you'd better use the same brush for the other.

Funny how everyone sees themselves in the fair, balanced, impartial crowd...
 
Apollo Creed;3814435 said:
No sense in deleting the post.

Sdogo needs to get off my jock. His sig makes Garrett look like a 15 year old that got his lunch money taken.

Indirect or not, I'm far from an idiot. Nor do I complain about everything, I love this team just as much as anyone here. I just view 16 years of fuility as just that, 16 years of futility.

Uh oh. Now you did it. Someone will be along shortly to call you a whiner, hater, fake fan, handwringer, overreactor, panicker, myopic, or butt hurt. Feel free to read a magazine while you wait.
 
15. If you post on a message board that the team will lose the game and there's ten minutes left in the first quarter, meh.
 
16. Unnamed sources quoted in articles should be unquestionable.
 
stasheroo;3814443 said:
The kool-aid drinkers stand directly opposite of the 'clueless crowd' who 'don't know the game' and have 'no idea what they're talking about' and just simply 'complain about everything'.

Paint using a broad brush on one side, you'd better use the same brush for the other.

Funny how everyone sees themselves in the fair, balanced, impartial crowd...

Word.

To Cowboys fans it may not seem so apparent but to an unbiased casual fan, you'd think we're coming off back to back super bowls the way some of these guys aggressively defend the powers that be.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
465,405
Messages
13,872,155
Members
23,790
Latest member
MisterWaffles
Back
Top