My thoughts on the Eagles

[Captain43Crash]

How is this rambling? This is an expert break down and nothing but documented facts.

Lots of emotion and lots of exaggeration.

 

[black label]

That is one of my favorites

 

[Captain-Crash]

it's a wonder they have beaten any teams with all their injuries.

 

[Clove]

The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team. Forget that game - Here's my expert analysis:

QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.

HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.

WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.

TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.

OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.

Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).

Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).

I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.

Go Cowboys.

Not only do I love your post, but you're pretty funny.

 

[RoboQB]

The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team. Forget that game - Here's my expert analysis:

QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.

HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.

WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.

TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.

OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.

Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).

Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).

I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.

Go Cowboys.

Very skillful writing. I love this kind of stuff.
Eagles suck!

 

[FootballKing124]

Good lord, this post is so wrong on so many levels it makes me wonder if you've actually watched 1 second of their team this year. Where do i even begin.

The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team.

They did lose to the Dolphins, but also beat an 11-3 Packers and a 10-4 Bills team both on the road. Both better wins than any win the Cowboys have had this year.

QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.

You don't watch football if you think Wentz is one of the worst QBs in the league. He's top 5 in TD passes with a practice squad WR core. He's not elite but that is just idiotic.

HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.

Once again, this is probably the worst take in this post and leads me to believe you've never watched one of their games. Miles Sanders is a very electric rookie RB and just broke LeSean McCoy's rookie record for most Scrimmage Yards by a rookie. Boston Scott gets about 10-15% of the snaps.
[/QUOTE]

OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.

This "Doug Petersucker" you speak of has a SB ring in his first 3 years of coaching while Garrett is still clapping on the sidelines in Year 10.

Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).

If you actually look at the Eagles Home/Road splits on defense you will see that it is a huge disparity. When playing at home, their defense actually ranks as a top 10 defense. They just don't know how to play defense on the road. I expect them to put up a good effort at home.



It is one thing to hate a team with a passion and I applaud that, but those statements are hilarious to read if you think most of what you wrote is true.

 

[TheSkaven]

This post is sheer brilliance. Every word of it.

I am going to enjoy this win so much.

 

[ghst187]

Corey Clement
DeSean Jackson
Malik Jackson
Alshon Jeffrey
Hasan Ridgeway
Darren Sproles

Are ALL on IR

Lane Johnson won’t play
Jordan Howard won’t play
Derek Barnett won’t play
Nelson Agholor may not play

That’s EIGHT opening day starters who won’t or may not play.

We have a bad habit of making backups look all pro....

 

[noshame]

They suck
They will punch us in the mouth.
The crowd will get loud.
What will we do?

 

[Ranched]

I'll never forget that game. McRib thinking he was all that and LOST!

 

[X550i]

The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team. Forget that game - Here's my expert analysis:

QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.

HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.

WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.

TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.

OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.

Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).

Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).

I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.

Go Cowboys.

I like this post x million

 

[Dracula]

How is this rambling? This is an expert break down and nothing but documented facts.

Oh please, The Cowboys may go into Philly and win or the Cowboys may go into Philly and tank. The Cowboys have already managed to lose to THE WORST NFL team this season, that is a documented fact, as well. Here is a documented fact for you. The Eagles and I hate those guys, may be just getting by but they are getting by, they are playing at home, and they are playing for all the marbles. We have a Jekyll and Hyde team. Stuff those inputs, into your expert documented breakdown, and pray that the 44-21 Cowboys show up and not the 24-22 Jets or the 31-24 Bears do. I'm praying for the 44-21 Cowboys but how many times have the Cowboys pumped us up and then broken our hearts?

 

[nobody]

I’m not falling for the banana in the tailpipe...This is exactly the kind of game JG loses and it would be nice to clinch in filly...

wow, nice Beverly Hills Cop reference!

 

[willia451]

The Eagles are the 2nd worst football team in the NFL (behind the Bengals). They lost to the Dolphins, would've lost to the Skins and Giants (if they weren't intentionally tanking), and we beat them 37-10 when they were a healthier team. Forget that game - Here's my expert analysis:

QB- One of the worst in the league, he's a mini Jared Goff with a fumbling problem and has the most punchable face in all of sports.

HB- Boston Scott is their best running back and he's not tall enough to ride most roller coasters in North America.

WR- Their best receiver right now isn't good enough to make our practice squad & they would rather catch an STD than a football.

TE- We took away Wentz' boyfriend in the first game and we know if we take his boyfriend away again, he'll just give the ball to us 3 or 4 times, so we'll leave him alone.

OLine - This is their biggest strength and they're banged up right now. We feasted on them when they were healthy and if Doug Petersucker runs his mouth like he did last time - DLaw will destroy that back up RT & send Wentz to his annual I.R. trip.

Defense - They just flat out SUCK. Fitzpatrick, Eli, and Haskins cooked them and literally weren't even trying to win. If Dak doesn't even throw one pass this entire game, we should still beat Gym Shortz's goofy scheme and run the ball up their buttholes, that guy has 2 more games left as a coordinator/coach and then we'll never see his face again (he'll be an assistant over night manager at Target next year).

Eagles fans: By far the worst fan base in all of sports, they're posting on Reddit to bring batteries to the game to throw at the Cowboys and Cowboys fans. These people have serious psychological problems and it's well documented what they do to opposing teams fans (especially the Cowboys).

I flat out hate this team more than anything on earth and they are an insanely bad team. I'm so glad we're both 7-7 and it comes down to this game. We will embarrass these clowns on national television for the 2nd time this season and I can't wait to hear their fans boo the living crap out of them. Get ready for 4 yard check downs and screens because that's how bad their QB is and they want to limit his turnovers, he tried to air it out against us last game and he got cooked.

Go Cowboys.

Now THIS is the kind of post we need around here. Hell, yeah. I'm disappointed I can only like it once.

 

[Dracula]

I’m not falling for the banana in the tailpipe...This is exactly the kind of game JG loses and it would be nice to clinch in filly...

Jones has been sticking a banana(?) , in our collective tailpipes, since Jimmy left. Apparently, Ultron is just begging for thank you, sir, may I have another. Animal House, 1978.

 

[Z mann R2]

I. Love. This. Post.


Cry Eagles Cry!!

 

[DCreppinBoysfan]

The rest of his teammates weren’t as confident as McNabb and Jackson

 

[Z mann R2]

Lots of emotion and lots of exaggeration.

Wentz most definitely has a punchable face....no exaggeration there buddy!

 

[Gorgon]

again, it comes down to which Cowboys team shows up, all the Eagles have to do is play to win, Dallas has to figure out which team comes.

THIS. There are two Dallas teams. One is a running team where the O-line gets a push and occasionally creates lanes; where the D consistently makes tackles (late in the Rams game, though, on those last drives the missed tackle thing began to surface again), and well, gets breaks. (Think back to the pass interference non-call against Detroit in the playoffs a few years ago---that won the game).

The other is the pass-happy, pocket-collapsing, tackle-missing, highly penalized team that we have seen through TWO three-game losing streaks. I think you have to go back to Aikman's first year to see that.

 

[Future]

They suck but 2nd worst is ridiculous.