Reality
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This is probably better suited for another threadYeah the jQuery thing sucks a bit. They're swapping to that in 4.0 I believe. XenForo isn't bad by any means, I was considering it until the devs and legal trouble surfaced. It looks like that is starting to clear out somewhat but at the time I made the decision a lot of things were still up in the air. I'm positive you're using something like APC/xcache already but what about mod_pagespeed and something like Lazy Loader? I just turned on debug mode on a very active thread we have:
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Most threads are between 10-20 queries.
/reality