Sayings You Were Raised Around

[Cowpolk]

I been running all over hell's half acre

 

[OmerV]

Why would a witches tit necessarily be cold?

 

[Cowpolk]

It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory

 

[CouchCoach]

It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory

Dayam, Gip, I bet your family reunions are a riot!

 

[Runwildboys]

It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory

HAhahaha!!! You got some good ones, Gip!

 

[Runwildboys]

Why would a witches tit necessarily be cold?

Always wondered about that one too.

 

[CouchCoach]

Why would a witches tit necessarily be cold?

Good question, colder than a well digger's butt on a brass toilet is more descriptive.

 

[Runwildboys]

Good question, colder than a well digger's butt on a brass toilet is more descriptive.

Also more repulsive.

 

[Cowpolk]

He's about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule
If you don't stop that crying, I'll give you something to cry about

 

[OmerV]

It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory

The version I’ve heard is like a fart in a whirlwind.

A few others ...

Madder than a wet hen
Dumber than a box of rocks
Dumber than a mud fence
Slower than molasses
Nutty as a fruitcake.
Crazy as a loon

 

[Runwildboys]

He's about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule
If you don't stop that crying, I'll give you something to cry about

I thought about posting that second one, but having as many nieces and nephews as I do, that one makes perfect sense to me.

 

[Cowpolk]

She could start an argument in an empty house
The porch light's on, but aint no one home
So dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit
Keep it up and I'll cancel your birth certificate

 

[OmerV]

A saying in baseball I grew up with is “a can of corn”, which refers to a very easy to catch fly ball. I always wondered about that, and a number of years ago I looked up the origin. Before I explain, I’m curious if anyone has an idea without looking it up.

 

[CouchCoach]

A couple of favorites that my Mom used.

So bucktoothed he could eat an apple through a picket fence.

When someone was wide-eyed, "like a tree full of owls".

One my Dad and uncles used that was rather hazy, "he didn't know whether to **** or go blind".

My Dad had one he rarely used because of the lack of a subject but the first time us used it, I fell out. "He's got so much of an underbite, you could plow an acre with his face".

One of his favorites was "like a 3 legged cat burying crap on a frozen pond". I believe this might have been the forerunner of the "cluster****".

 

[Runwildboys]

"There's nothing worse than....." Oh, off the top of my head, I could think of a lot of things that are worse than anything I've ever heard follow those words.

 

[Runwildboys]

A saying in baseball I grew up with is “a can of corn”, which refers to a very easy to catch fly ball. I always wondered about that, and a number of years ago I looked up the origin. Before I explain, I’m curious if anyone has an idea without looking it up.

More convenient than cutting it off the cob yourself?

 

[Cowpolk]

Dayam, Gip, I bet your family reunions are a riot!

They are all country folks and my Mom was a bartender they had some I cant post

 

[CouchCoach]

They are all country folks and my Mom was a bartender they had some I cant post

Now I gotta get an invite.

 

[Runwildboys]

What's that one?......If wishes were dragons, we'd all have a merry Christmas?

Now I gotta get an invite.

I don't think they date outsiders.

 

[Cowpolk]

Dumber than a box of rocks