Something Weird about Yourself!

[ESisback]

I think having a menage a trois with your socks on is weird.

A ménage a trois with OR without socks is an achievement at our age...

 

[CouchCoach]

A ménage a trois with OR without socks is an achievement at our age...

I'd probably be more in line for a timed release menage a trois, one this year and one around 2021......maybe toward the end of 2021.

 

[ESisback]

I'd probably be more in line for a timed release menage a trois, one this year and one around 2021......maybe toward the end of 2021.

‘Timed release’ is an apt description...and I like the proposed recovery times....I need that now

Doesn’t Otis get drunk between sessions?

 

[kskboys]

I think having a menage a trois with your socks on is weird.

Who is Trois, and why do you feel the need to manage him?

 

[kskboys]

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.

 

[Cowpolk]

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little compound bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40
horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough
kritters
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One
summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak
stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny
brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably
just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old
mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I
went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for
muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of
black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex
and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to
my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched
from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting
out of the truck...OH crap He just got home from work. So help me God it
took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was
walking towards me in slow motion with a what the hek look in his eyes. I turned
back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting
fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and
into the can.

Oh Hek.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was
the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from
235 freaking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of
the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could
see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big tgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I
said "was". That son-of-a-gun got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE
YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows
on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling
mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3
wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped
down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I
said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I
don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't
remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and
then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat
this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one
point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life
so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom
had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of
bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

 

[ESisback]

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little compound bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40
horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough
kritters
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One
summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak
stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny
brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably
just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old
mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I
went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for
muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of
black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex
and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to
my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched
from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting
out of the truck...OH crap He just got home from work. So help me God it
took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was
walking towards me in slow motion with a what the hek look in his eyes. I turned
back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting
fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and
into the can.

Oh Hek.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was
the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from
235 freaking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of
the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could
see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big tgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I
said "was". That son-of-a-gun got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE
YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows
on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling
mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3
wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped
down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I
said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I
don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't
remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and
then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat
this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one
point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life
so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom
had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of
bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

Thanks Gipper!

 

[CouchCoach]

‘Timed release’ is an apt description...and I like the proposed recovery times....I need that now

Doesn’t Otis get drunk between sessions?

He stays drunk on the outside chance he has to see me nekkid. He changed out steps 11 and 12 in the program. 11. Start drinking in case ole CC gets nekkid. 12. Odds are good ole CC will get nekkid so don't stop drinking.

 

[ESisback]

He stays drunk on the outside chance he has to see me nekkid. He changed out steps 11 and 12 in the program. 11. Start drinking in case ole CC gets nekkid. 12. Odds are good ole CC will get nekkid so don't stop drinking.

Otis is certainly no prude!

 

[Cowpolk]

I think having a menage a trois with your socks on is weird.

How bout just 1 sock and a pink Tutu

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

The wifey makes fun of me because I like the taste of tea better after it's been sitting for 1-2 days. To me it gains flavor.

You sure she's make fun of the tea and not those flowered BVDs you got going on ksk?

 

[ESisback]

How bout just 1 sock and a pink Tutu

I gained weight. I wear a four four. No, an eight eight.

 

[kskboys]

You sure she's make fun of the tea and not those flowered BVDs you got going on ksk?

Well, she claims she loves those. Hold it......sorry, thought you said flavored.

 

[CouchCoach]

I gained weight. I wear a four four. No, an eight eight.

It's like the rather rotund woman said "I wear a 6 but really should wear an 8 but a 10 feels so good I wear a 12".

The passage of time and natural aging process moves us from the "how do I look in this" to "how comfortable am I in this?" However, one trip to Walmart reminds is that one person's comfort is another's horror.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Well, she claims she loves those. Hold it......sorry, thought you said flavored.

Well crap.... There goes the Coffee again...........

 

[ESisback]

It's like the rather rotund woman said "I wear a 6 but really should wear an 8 but a 10 feels so good I wear a 12".

The passage of time and natural aging process moves us from the "how do I look in this" to "how comfortable am I in this?" However, one trip to Walmart reminds is that one person's comfort is another's horror.

I was reminded (yet again) of advancing age by recent car drama. First, I’m partial to Buicks, and a local dealer says they’re a hard sell because the kids don’t favor the old fashioned stodginess. Secondly, I’m having problems with the wife’s Volvo, and I had trouble finding the freakin’ battery in that thing! My stepson left me a battery pack to jump start it, but at 7:15am on a muggy day, I just don’t have the time or patience to search for the battery, then jumpstart, then drive it to the garage, and then wait for an hour, (or two) only to have the mechanic say “I can’t sticker it today. I have to order a part, and I can’t get you into the schedule until a week from Tuesday...”. Blah blah blah...

Life’s too short to elongate the drama! Get another one! Done!

Is that old age creeping up?

 

[Cowpolk]

I was reminded (yet again) of advancing age by recent car drama. First, I’m partial to Buicks, and a local dealer says they’re a hard sell because the kids don’t favor the old fashioned stodginess. Secondly, I’m having problems with the wife’s Volvo, and I had trouble finding the freakin’ battery in that thing! My stepson left me a battery pack to jump start it, but at 7:15am on a muggy day, I just don’t have the time or patience to search for the battery, then jumpstart, then drive it to the garage, and then wait for an hour, (or two) only to have the mechanic say “I can’t sticker it today. I have to order a part, and I can’t get you into the schedule until a week from Tuesday...”. Blah blah blah...

Life’s too short to elongate the drama! Get another one! Done!

Is that old age creeping up?

Nah I think you just have gas

 

[Cowboys_22]

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little compound bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40
horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough
kritters
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One
summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak
stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny
brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably
just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old
mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I
went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for
muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of
black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex
and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to
my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched
from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting
out of the truck...OH crap He just got home from work. So help me God it
took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was
walking towards me in slow motion with a what the hek look in his eyes. I turned
back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting
fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and
into the can.

Oh Hek.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was
the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from
235 freaking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of
the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could
see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big tgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I
said "was". That son-of-a-gun got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE
YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows
on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling
mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3
wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped
down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I
said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I
don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't
remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and
then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat
this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one
point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life
so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom
had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of
bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

Are you for hire? I have a tree stump that I need out.

 

[ESisback]

Nah I think you just have gas

Well, I DID have two bean burritos and a tall beer...

 

[CouchCoach]

I was reminded (yet again) of advancing age by recent car drama. First, I’m partial to Buicks, and a local dealer says they’re a hard sell because the kids don’t favor the old fashioned stodginess. Secondly, I’m having problems with the wife’s Volvo, and I had trouble finding the freakin’ battery in that thing! My stepson left me a battery pack to jump start it, but at 7:15am on a muggy day, I just don’t have the time or patience to search for the battery, then jumpstart, then drive it to the garage, and then wait for an hour, (or two) only to have the mechanic say “I can’t sticker it today. I have to order a part, and I can’t get you into the schedule until a week from Tuesday...”. Blah blah blah...

Life’s too short to elongate the drama! Get another one! Done!

Is that old age creeping up?

Probably but don't worry, I find yelling "Get off my lawn" to kids invigorating. Don't consider myself a curmudgeon just yet. That would require pits and traps in the lawn followed by Death Adders.