Stupid, goofy stuff you did in grade school

[Reverend Conehead]

I went to grade school in a small Texas town. My friends and I had warped senses of humor. We had a game we called "machine guns" where we all pretended like we were armed with assault rifles and we would try to kill each other. The object of the game was not to win the war or whatever. It was to die as funny as possible. If you got hit, you would make ridiculous grunting and gasping noises and proclaim "I'm dying" and then fall to the ground, writhing and kicking ridiculously. Then you would "die" with a jolt, eyes wide open and crossed and a comically contorted look on your face. Whoever made everyone laugh the most with their satirical "death" won. I know it's twisted, but we had warped sense of humor. The girls in our class failed to see the humor in it and would complain to the teacher, "They're always pretending like they're killing each other."

My friends and I also made voodoo dolls of the teacher. They were ridiculous and silly looking. We had our lockers inside our classroom. My best friend, if he was annoyed by the teacher, would go to his locker and stab his voodoo doll with a sharp pencil. The rest of us we're laughing so hard, and other classmates would look at us like we're crazy.

Your turn. Tell us what goofy stuff you and your friends did in grade school.

 

[John813]

Used to flick food across the cafeteria at one another.

One day I flicked a skittle, but arched it too high and it hit a fluorescent light and the light blew up. Whole cafeteria went silent, as it was quite loud. The administrators all huddled up to figure out what the hell happened.

Never got caught, but never flicked anything again after that. Was amazed I didn't get busted.

 

[YosemiteSam]

Anyone play "Pencils" back in school? I remember the school office had a quarter vending machine that sold pencils. You put a quarter in and twist the knob and two pencils would come out.

The trick of the game was two people each with a pencil. One person would hold each end of the pencil while the other would try to snap the others pencil with your own. It was sort of like a catapult. You would use one hand to hold the bottom of the pencil with the thumb providing forward pressure and usually the pinky of the the other hand to hold the top of the pencil back sort of like a cross-bow holds the string back creating the forward pressure.

You would release the head of the pencil and it would impact the other guys pencil. If the pencil broke, you won. If it did not, the other guy got a chance to snap your pencil.

Many times the guy holding both end of his pencil would try to bend the center of his pencil upwards preventing the other pencil from driving through the pencil.

EDIT: This was back in elementary school.

Anyhow, the student kept emptying out the pencil vending machine and the school band students from playing pencils. Not that it stopped it.

 

[JohnnyTheFox]

Now I would never do something so sick and demented but i did see a kid put his rear end up to a fan and cut a huge fart. Mind you this was a catholic school and the kid had no clue a teacher was watching him the whole time. His face turned red as a beet from embarrassment.

Also one time in the same school me and couple buddies got caught shooting spitballs out of pens.
We were caught and punished to the fullest extent. We each had to sit and make 1000 spit balls. The nuns thankfully let us stop around the 600 mark. Never shot or made another spitball though.

 

[YosemiteSam]

Now I would never do something so sick and demented but i did see a kid put his rear end up to a fan and cut a huge fart. Mind you this was a catholic school and the kid had no clue a teacher was watching him the whole time. His face turned red as a beet from embarrassment.

Also one time in the same school me and couple buddies got caught shooting spitballs out of pens.
We were caught and punished to the fullest extent. We each had to sit and make 1000 spit balls. The nuns thankfully let us stop around the 600 mark. Never shot or made another spitball though.

What was the punishment for your farting incident?

 

[DallasEast]

Believe it or not, I was a world class kickballer back in the day. Or that is what I would tell myself at least. No one would play kickball harder than little ole me.

I would kill my foot kicking and put my entire body into any throw to get someone out. Man. One of the best things in life is seeing your classmate on the other team, jogging to the next base after the kick, and POW! Ball ricochets fifteen feet in the air off the side of their head.

Some of my classmates loved me when I got picked for their team and my other classmates hated my guts at recess.

My killer kickball attitude changed in the fourth grade. Yep. Pine trees stood at the edge of the outfield. And there was a huge wooden merry-go-round with metal hand rails sitting about ten yards beyond the third base line.

The first correction in attitude happened on a Monday. One of my classmates put the foot to that ball. It grabbed air. That sucker was going deep and I was playing center field. Had already gauged it was going to fly over my head, so I took off running! It was catchable! Kept the ball in sight over my left shoulder! I timed my run perfect! I'm gonna snag that



I woke up with everyone looking down at me. That tree never flinched an inch. Right eye all bruised up. No teeth knocked out for some strange reason. Guess I hit the tree at an angle instead of flush. Whatever.

The next day came and it was recess again! I LOVED kickball. Classmates asked if I was sure I wanted to play. I called them wimps and they dropped their concern.

THE EXACT SAME CLASSMATE kicked another boomer but this time the kick was angling out of bounds to my right. It was pretty darn high. Must have caught the side of his foot. Instinct took over and I took off! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I



I woke up with everyone looking down at me. A good friend described it for me. My right leg caught the merry-go-round seat/bench first. Thankfully it was wood. Probably would have fractured my leg if it was metal. My upper torso kept going. Caught the hand rail in the gut. Probably good I did not careen over into the merry-go-round's center pole.

I stopped playing kickball recklessly from that day on. Not my fault I did not grow up to be a world famous kickballer. I still blame the merry-go-round and that tree.

 

[CF74]

We played touch by punching each other, until we got caught.

We played tackle football with a Nerf but we literally tried to kill each other, none of this defenseless receiver stuff. We used to flip each other with brutal hits. It wasn’t dumb though, it was a blast...

 

[JohnnyTheFox]

What was the punishment for your farting incident?

Other than a tongue lashing, nothing. She would have never admitted it but I think the teacher thought it was kinda funny

 

[YosemiteSam]

Other than a tongue lashing, nothing. She would have never admitted it but I think the teacher thought it was kinda funny

Your punishment is detention and a high five!

 

[Chrispierce]

Me and my friend tried whiskey first time after school (not not my idea) then wound up burning down his backyard (now that one was my idea) Playing cars..and thought it would be cool to set the car on fire for realism after a simulated car crash.and of course the weeds and stuff caught ablaze and you get the gist.

 

[CouchCoach]

How long do you have and how much space do I have here? Before the term was coined, I was a class clown, actually thought that was my job. My teachers thought that was my job as well and that they'd done something wrong in a previous life and I was sent as punishment. I know this because I heard "Oh Lord" a lot from them. Recess at our elementary school was known as "Keep an eye on that one". I got busted for selling Double Bubble, Bazooka and Lik-M-Aid at recess twice. I would buy them for a penny a piece and double the price and had quite a lucrative venture for myself and they shut me down, confiscated the contraband but they didn't take my cash.

So, I went back into business a couple of weeks later but pushed it too far. I would give girls the choice of 2 cents or pulling up their dress behind the building. This time when I got busted, the Principal took me home and made me sit there while she explained to my Mom what I had been doing. My Mom asked me "what do you have to say for yourself"? I asked what's different about this than sitting under the monkey bars and trying to catch a shot? Not exactly what she wanted to hear as she just stared at me along with the Principal and this was my first lesson with a tough audience. I do wonder if I sent any of those girls down the road of debauchery and depravity and since they'd show their panties for Bazooka, what would they do for real money? Every time I see a woman chewing gum, my sick little mind wonders 'what did she do to get that gum'?

I became really good at one art as a Master of Distraction, flipping my desk/chair over and not once hurting myself. I discovered early on that besides protecting us from a nuclear blast, this thing could be good for entertainment. I not only mastered this but became famous for it and continued the practice all the way through high school. It was not considered to be an official school year until I'd flipped my desk and I had friends draw that in my senior year book.

Everything changed for me in 5th grade, Mrs. Blair, an absolute genius. She let me get by with some of my disrupting and clowning around making distracting sounds until one Monday morning when she called me out the hall to make a deal. She offered me my own full 5 minutes at the end of the week to get up in front of the class and entertain them. The deal was no distracting the class during the week, especially the flipping my desk/chair and she asked me if I'd ever hurt myself doing that, hit my head. It would be years later before I understood what she was thinking. Well, the word spread and they allowed the next door class to come in for my performance and it also spread to Mrs. Frost, my 6th grade teacher and favorite of all time. She made that deal with me only sweetened the pot, 2 minutes for every day I didn't disrupt her class and if I went all 5 days, I got 10 minutes. I was hitting the big time. However, her plan didn't work any better than Mrs. Blair's because there were weeks I blew it, just couldn't stop myself when we were in complete silence. Complete silence exists for only one thing, distraction, disruption and finally disgrace, no Friday performance. I could see the poster with me on it with cancelled stamped across it.

In one of my acts, I explained the benefit of learning to flip your desk in case of a nuclear attack. I figured that getting under the desk only protected us against the bomb falling on us but what about the blast coming from the side, our most likely danger. So, the desk part of the chair would act as a shield against the blast. This was all part of the plan to make them think I was buying the whole plan of using my desk to thwart off a nuclear attack. All the while, I always tried to sit by a window and crack it. When the attack came, I'd exit stage left out that window and meet the Commie bassterds as they came down in parachutes. I wasn't going out in a class room setting, no sir, not this guy. I hadn't survived this mean old world for 8 years without being a survivor.

One thing about being a class clown, you never outgrow it. And I thank y'all for letting me continue that here.

 

[GMO415]

We used to have BB gun fights.

I got recruited to play football for St John Bosco HS. My older brother attended the school already. At age 13, I was still in the 8th grade and would attend Bosco Varsity games. My brother and his friends were drinkers, so I did the same. I was an 8th grader getting drunk off Mickeys beer prior to attending the games.

Just doing dumb shhhhh.

 

[CalPolyTechnique]

I was in the 7th grade in Arlington, TX, at the time. I was in computer class when my teacher, who was a bit overweight, had bent over to pick something up. I started pointing at her rear end real close to making contact when my friend pushed my hand into her butt.

The teacher didn’t say anything. She turned around and looked at me (I was amused and terrified at the same time), grabbed my wrist and walked me straight to the principal’s office.

They had corporal punishment back in those days (not sure if they still do). I got swatted three times with a wooden paddle to my rear end.

 

[nobody]

We played a lot of pencils, (Like Sam)

We played a lot of Butt's up (aka Wall ball, aka insert random name here)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallball

We would also sharpen pencils as sharp as we could and then try to throw them up to inbed them into ceiling tiles.

 

[nightrain]

A close Buddy of mine and I were fascinated with staged fires. We would assemble a battle scene with models of ships, tanks, planes, etc. and spread those little army figures around. We spent the most time putting the models together. There was an ever available mound of clay on our neighborhood ballfield that made a great staging area. Once we had all of our figures and models in place, out came the lighter fluid and stick matches with the occasional fireworks. The was 48 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.

 

[aria]

Does grade school include 6th, 7th and 8th grade or is that solely considered middle school?

 

[CouchCoach]

Does grade school include 6th, 7th and 8th grade or is that solely considered middle school?

He said grade school which usually ends with 6th grade. Why? Did you do stupid stuff in the 7th and 8th grades too?

Hell, when I went it was Elementary, Junior High and High School and I got high on the mimeograph ink every year, 1-12. Not as good as airplane glue but that wasn't allowed at school. If it was, I would have had a kiosk.

 

[aria]

He said grade school which usually ends with 6th grade. Why? Did you do stupid stuff in the 7th and 8th grades too?

Hell, when I went it was Elementary, Junior High and High School and I got high on the mimeograph ink every year, 1-12. Not as good as airplane glue but that wasn't allowed at school. If it was, I would have had a kiosk.

I figured grade school ended in 5th but I dunno, someone mentioned 7th so I figured I’d ask. Stupid for what I did in 6-8th is an understatement.

Besides having read Anton LaVey’s “book”, dabbling in those practices and having developed a tolerance for LSD that would make most Dead Heads look like rookies...yeah, I did a lot of other stupid things that made those look pale in comparison. Some I would never take back because they partly made me who am I today but others I feel extremely bad about for myself and for others I hurt.

 

[BigStar]

We played a lot of pencils, (Like Sam)

We played a lot of Butt's up (aka Wall ball, aka insert random name here)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallball

We would also sharpen pencils as sharp as we could and then try to throw them up to inbed them into ceiling tiles.

Huh, we did this too but it was one person with a kick ball or soccer ball with about 5-10 of us lined up against a brick wall. You get hit, you're out, etc. Thrower would be about 15 ft from wall, and could really pin kids; remember my ears ringing on some lol. "That doesn't count, you only got my shirt!"

 

[MWH1967]

Cherry bomb flushed down the toilet here. Flooded the cafeteria with water. Got my arse beat at school and then again when I got home. spent 3 days cleaning the lunchroom and got a week out of school. Had to sand and paint the whole barn while I was on vacation...lol!! It's still funny 40 years later. The lasting effects of old lady Winters "Bee Hive Hair doo" flat and dripping was one for the ages...!!!