The 1,000 deceased Philly Fan Genocide

PEF#968 A stupid Eagles fan who died horrifically by hot frying pan coated in bacon grease when he answered "Yes" when his wife asked if the outfit she was going to wear to the game made her look fat.
 
The most timely& fortunate demise of PEF#969 transpired while he was attempting to escape& evade the wrath of the entire girl scout troop local #1222 over his bogus bouncing rubber checks he'd issued to cover his thin mints cookie bill, slipping upon an 1/2 full tube of inadvertently discarded vagisl ointment in his apartments emergency fire escape stairwell.

o_O
I don't think anyone is going to beat you at this!!!! LMAO!
 
PEF #968 ate philly cheesesteaks until he weighed nigh upon 890 lb. He and a fellow fan were vying for the last spot on My 800 Pound Life when the show came to Philadelphia. Out of desperation, the fellow fan got a job at the restaurant #968 ordered from, and slipped a tiny piece of lettuce into each of #968's 15 PC sandwiches. #968's body went into shock trying to digest the first piece of lettuce, and he died. #968's dog ate the other 14 sandwiches and subsequently died from an exploded intestine about halfway thru #968's calf.
 
The most timely& fortunate demise of PEF#969 transpired while he was attempting to escape& evade the wrath of the entire girl scout troop local #1222 over his bogus bouncing rubber checks he'd issued to cover his thin mints cookie bill, slipping upon an 1/2 full tube of inadvertently discarded vagisl ointment in his apartments emergency fire escape stairwell.

o_O
How do you know it was "inadvertently" discarded?
 
How do you know it was "inadvertently" discarded?
*cuz' it's 2nd in sales, only being slightly eclipsed by cheese whiz convenience store counter sales in that particular market shares A.O. ,,,apparently you've inadvertently misplaced yer' memo covering the 2019first quarter profit reports,,,SHEESEo_O
 

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