Excellent. I'm sure I'll excel at TE. The story of my sporting life, from larva to high school, has always been to play at a position where the slow white guys can make it!
Here's my roster, based on how people post:
Quarterback - I want a veteran, someone who's seen a lot, and usually stays cool under pressure, and isn't afraid to admit when he's made mistakes, so I'm picking Silverbear. I also need one of those joke-cracking calm Don Meredith types on the bench to keep everyone cool, so Yaegermeister gets the backup nod.
Wide Receiver - I want some showboats. Some guys who yell "give me the damn ball" or "I told ya so" and aren't afraid to flamebait and get the defense fluttered. So obviously, my main go to man will be Nors. Backing him up will be BadAttitude, as soon his two-year suspension is lifted. I need a solid possession receiver too, someone who will always run the right routes and stick with the team concept so Mick Green is going in. At tightend I want a lunchpail kind of guy. Just one of the fellas, a Dan Campbell type, not afraid to get down and dirty, so I'm going with Brainpaint.
Running Backs - All I want running the ball is someone who is a quick poster, who can put on some fast moves and sum up his point with one emoticon or a few words, and burst through the hole. So Jacs is my man. At fullback, I want a veteran who will always pick up his blocking assignment. Someone who is dependable and tough when he needs to be so I'm signing up Hostile. I'll also need a Walt Garrison type in the locker room. A light-hearted fella with a sense of humor who always is cool with everyone so Fletch with his Fletch avatar gets the nod as the eternally slow back-up white running back.
Offensive Line - I want some fighers, some nasty tough forumites who stick to their beliefs, are not afraid to post anything or stay politically correct, so for linemen, I'm going for these folks to be the hogs up front and take out the opposition. - Ben n Austin, Inmanroshi, Blind Zebra, Cajun, Trick Blue, Hollywood Henderson and Princess.
Defensive Line - I need some tough mofos who don't try and be cute and say what they mean. Adbutcher and Big Dog Cowboy come to mind.
Linebackers - I want the folks who mix in well with everyone. They're all hybrids. Too big to be defensive backs, to small to be defensive linemen, yet very dependable and smart players. I need Jterrel, Woody's Girl, Crown Royal, Duane, Skaven and ABQCowboy. I'm also throwing in Wheat in special pass rush situations being as he's a situational kind of poster (politics and Commanders) here in the Zone.
Cornerback - I want some confident vets who won't get flustered after giving up the big play. They've got to be able to think on their feet, concentrate so much that even with less than a thousand posts, everyone still appreciates their responses, so I think Chief, Dale and Danny White get the start over there.
Safety - In the spirit of Charlie Waters and Cliff Harris, I need a safety duo who are best buds, do everything in and away from the forum, and knows what the other is thinking. So I can't think of a better couple than Juke and Michael Winicki. Being that at least one of them lives close to Massachusetts and all, I'm sure there will be rumors, but our excellent PR department will hush it up.
PR - Speaking of PR, I can't think of a better man than Calico. Dude will have downloadable highlights the second after every game is over.
Offensive Coordinator - I'm drafting LaTuna for this spot because I get the feeling that even if we run a system she's not used to, she'll do more research and watch more game film (with the exception of Adam) to get it right. LaTuan is going to grind out 10,000 page playbooks that scare all the rookies!
Defensive Coordinator - Seeing as how CBZ was the only forumite alive when football first considered becoming a passing-oriented offense, he gets the seniority nod. Nothing will fool CBZ. I'm sure that often we will hear from the box, "Aw hell, I saw this #*$# in '62!"
Head Coach - I'm going with Jobberone because I think he used to have a Vince Lombardi avatar and it always stuck out to me, and I consider it good luck to have a coach with an avatar of the man they named the trophy after.
GM - I don't have to think twice. Adam gets the nod. I'll never lose any draft picks because of free agency problems. Adam will also give me the lowdown on the forumites who have underrated stats, such as poster with less than 500 posts, most likely to be quoted in a thread. Yep, I can't lose with Adam making the personnel moves.
Owner - Why, who else? The board administrator and maybe the only guy with ol' Jerry Jones as his avatar - Reality!
Everyone else is invited for tryouts because we've got plenty of spots to fill up and I can't go through enough threads to remember all the great posters who make this website a fun place to read.
