Hostile
The Duke
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I bolded something below that caught my eye.
Buck Harvey
The winner of Michael Irvin's reality show comes to San Antonio in July.
Then he will slam into 300-pound men and listen to Wade Phillips.
There is no word yet on how the losers will be punished.
It won't be easy selecting appropriate contestants. Ideally, they should lazily jog through practice and be overly talented. Being late for the team plane would be a plus, too.
But Irvin already has considered the kind of contestants he wants. “Like if a guy who had a brother who was shot,” Irvin said, “and he had to give up the game to take care of his brother's kids.”
You know. Someone whose brother had been hanging around Pacman.
So there's a natural follow question, given the dead-brother profile, and it's this: Will Irvin be looking for real NFL players to compete on his show, or simply those who would make for good theater?
Irvin answered the way Jerry Jones would, and why Jones wins now even as he appears to be losing.
Both, Irvin said.
It's not a crime. It's a business decision. The “E” in ESPN stands for “entertainment,” and the “S” in Spike TV stands for “something.”
As in, the network needs “something” to program.
This isn't new, either. The Cowboys always have understood the power of marketing, with Tex Schramm embracing the title of “America's Team.”
Still, Schramm worked his side of the business, and Tom Landry worked his. Jones works, as Irvin would say, both.
That is Jones' flaw, of course. He builds drama better than he builds football teams, and perhaps never has he felt more of the sting for that imbalance than now. The Cardinals represent the NFC.
This should have been Dallas' year, and the stories flood in daily now, telling everyone why it was not. The Cowboys come across as disorganized, clueless and petty, and it begins with Phillips.
Now Mr. Fix It has pledged to become Mr. Tough Guy, something even the players laugh about.
Because of players being tardy, the Cowboys' charter was reportedly delayed last season almost as often as regular airlines were. Tony Romo has been criticized for not working in practice, and now he is thinking about trying harder next season — but only after Troy Aikman said a few things about him.
As for the usual soap: Romo hasn't said much about Terrell Owens, who is cool with that and who has been hanging with Paris Hilton, and that begs yet another question.
Where has Jessica Simpson been keeping herself?
Now, as the Super Bowl teams arrive in Tampa, Roger Goodell should consider a gag order on Cowboys stories for a week. The Steelers and Cardinals should have a chance to say something.
But Jones would find a way to circumvent even that. He liked Simpson being around the season before, and he's the one in the organization who is most reluctant to cut Owens.
He's also the one who welcomed HBO's “Hard Knocks” to training camp last year. And given the circus of the last few months, he's OK with more clowns coming to South Texas next summer.
“Nothing sells itself,” Jones once said.
Jones would like to sell a winner, and he wasn't that far away this past season. The Cowboys took the Cardinals to overtime and led the Steelers by 10 late in the fourth quarter in Pittsburgh.
There was a time, too, when they thought they could survive both losses. During the Cowboys' final win of the season, Romo shook off a back bruise and threw two touchdowns to beat the defending champion Giants.
Jones would prefer to sell that. But he knows he can't count on wins, so he works every cheap, talk-show angle. He wants exposure, and he wants fans to say something, anything.
Today they are. This is how Jones will fill his new stadium next season.
After the Giants game, Romo smiled about a week of craziness created by Owens. “There's no tension around here,” he said, tongue in cheek.
Then Romo paused. “Football is as big as it is because it's almost like a reality show.”
Almost?
Next summer, in San Antonio, Jones gets both.
bharvey@express-news.net
Buck Harvey
The winner of Michael Irvin's reality show comes to San Antonio in July.
Then he will slam into 300-pound men and listen to Wade Phillips.
There is no word yet on how the losers will be punished.
It won't be easy selecting appropriate contestants. Ideally, they should lazily jog through practice and be overly talented. Being late for the team plane would be a plus, too.
But Irvin already has considered the kind of contestants he wants. “Like if a guy who had a brother who was shot,” Irvin said, “and he had to give up the game to take care of his brother's kids.”
You know. Someone whose brother had been hanging around Pacman.
So there's a natural follow question, given the dead-brother profile, and it's this: Will Irvin be looking for real NFL players to compete on his show, or simply those who would make for good theater?
Irvin answered the way Jerry Jones would, and why Jones wins now even as he appears to be losing.
Both, Irvin said.
It's not a crime. It's a business decision. The “E” in ESPN stands for “entertainment,” and the “S” in Spike TV stands for “something.”
As in, the network needs “something” to program.
This isn't new, either. The Cowboys always have understood the power of marketing, with Tex Schramm embracing the title of “America's Team.”
Still, Schramm worked his side of the business, and Tom Landry worked his. Jones works, as Irvin would say, both.
That is Jones' flaw, of course. He builds drama better than he builds football teams, and perhaps never has he felt more of the sting for that imbalance than now. The Cardinals represent the NFC.
This should have been Dallas' year, and the stories flood in daily now, telling everyone why it was not. The Cowboys come across as disorganized, clueless and petty, and it begins with Phillips.
Now Mr. Fix It has pledged to become Mr. Tough Guy, something even the players laugh about.
Because of players being tardy, the Cowboys' charter was reportedly delayed last season almost as often as regular airlines were. Tony Romo has been criticized for not working in practice, and now he is thinking about trying harder next season — but only after Troy Aikman said a few things about him.
As for the usual soap: Romo hasn't said much about Terrell Owens, who is cool with that and who has been hanging with Paris Hilton, and that begs yet another question.
Where has Jessica Simpson been keeping herself?
Now, as the Super Bowl teams arrive in Tampa, Roger Goodell should consider a gag order on Cowboys stories for a week. The Steelers and Cardinals should have a chance to say something.
But Jones would find a way to circumvent even that. He liked Simpson being around the season before, and he's the one in the organization who is most reluctant to cut Owens.
He's also the one who welcomed HBO's “Hard Knocks” to training camp last year. And given the circus of the last few months, he's OK with more clowns coming to South Texas next summer.
“Nothing sells itself,” Jones once said.
Jones would like to sell a winner, and he wasn't that far away this past season. The Cowboys took the Cardinals to overtime and led the Steelers by 10 late in the fourth quarter in Pittsburgh.
There was a time, too, when they thought they could survive both losses. During the Cowboys' final win of the season, Romo shook off a back bruise and threw two touchdowns to beat the defending champion Giants.
Jones would prefer to sell that. But he knows he can't count on wins, so he works every cheap, talk-show angle. He wants exposure, and he wants fans to say something, anything.
Today they are. This is how Jones will fill his new stadium next season.
After the Giants game, Romo smiled about a week of craziness created by Owens. “There's no tension around here,” he said, tongue in cheek.
Then Romo paused. “Football is as big as it is because it's almost like a reality show.”
Almost?
Next summer, in San Antonio, Jones gets both.
bharvey@express-news.net