OmerV
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I never said that wanting respect meant that you were pretending. I was saying people shouldn't pretend just to get respect, regardless of whether or not they want it. I still have no idea where the "then he must not be a good football player" thing came in.
You are trying to mix all types of respect into one thing, and not focusing on the type of respect that was in the context of the conversation. Maybe that is my fault for not being clear that I was being specific to this discussion.
You state things as if they are absolutes, when they are categorically not. You must think everyone thinks and feels the way that you do. That's just not the way it is. Sorry to burst your bubble.
What "value" does TO get from having the respect of a few people who he most likely never interacts with and may never see again in his life? What kind of respect do these people have for him anyway? Do they respect him for the person he is? Likely not as they probably don't even really know him very well. How much is their respect worth (even if you care so much about it) if they are the type of people that would so easily lose respect for someone over something like this?
So, again, what is the value?
This is what you said .....
Wanting to be respected...by definition is a concern about what people think of you. You shouldn't try and change who you are to get friends.
So, in fact, your idea of a person wanting to be respected is that a person has to change who they are to get it.
It's BS. Respect comes from actually doing a good job, or actually being a good person, or actually being conscientious or capable or honorable or skilled, or whatever it is a person may be respected for. You think of it as artificial, and that's contrary to what respect is.
I laugh at you talking about TO in this context, as if he sees no value in getting the respect of the HOF voters, when the reality is that his whole beef with the HOF and the voters is that he was disrespected. The reality is, if he feels it's important to him to get that respect, then you have no business telling him otherwise. The same applies to all people.
But I suppose you don't care if your kids respect your integrity as a father, or if your boss respects the quality of your work, or if in whatever activities you have ever been involved in through your life your peers or adversaries respected your talent and accomplishments ....
Frankly, the only people I have every heard that said respect doesn't matter are people who don't accomplish things and don't have strong relationships - people who are making an excuse. Respect and pride go hand in hand. How much pride can a person have if everyone thinks they are dishonest or a clown or if they have never accomplished anything notable?