Well....I have a solution nobody has considered.
So....when their offense lines up at the 1 yd line in the Shove Wedge....and they are getting amped up to charge right into us and shove a couple of thousands of pounds of humanity back 2 yards... WE load the line, start yelling, digging our feet in, ready to meet their charge....and then....then...at the moment of the snap when they all launch themselves with all their might to smash us backwards, we quickly step aside, like a matador dodging a bull....and watch Kelce go running 100mph right into the goal post and knock himself silly....with Hurts behind him...and everyone else piling up.....just like a train derailment.
I got that idea from Bugs Bunny.
If the cartoon is accurate...a large 1 foot bump will immediately rise up off Kelce's head, lifting his helmet up high off his head... at which point he'll get a 15 yard penalty for removing his helmet. Then....kelce would have to take a frying pan and tap his head bump down back into his skull until it disappeared, at which point he could put his helmet back on.
My other idea involved an ACME safe or a piano being hoisted up over the field....but lets not go there.