I can't hug my dad

Rockport said:
It was good. However I found out after he died that he was my older brothers father but not mine. It's ironic because my older brother didn't want anything to do with him and I went to visit him 3 times the year before he died. He lived in Phoenix and I in San Antonio. I'll never forget the look on his face when I knocked on his door. He knew I wasn't his son I'm sure, but never said anything. His wife at the time thought I was only there for any inheritance. *****.
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So does that mean you never really found out who your biological father was?
 
DeathMonkey said:
So does that mean you never really found out who your biological father was?
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No never did. I found out that I wasn't his son a couple weeks after my Mom died and was going through some papers so never had a chance to ask her. So now it's probably impossible and I'm not interested anymore in finding out. It is what it is. I did submit my DNA to one of those sites, so who knows.
 
Rockport said:
No never did. I found out that I wasn't his son a couple weeks after my Mom died and was going through some papers so never had a chance to ask her. So now it's probably impossible and I'm not interested anymore in finding out. It is what it is. I did submit my DNA to one of those sites, so who knows.
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My friend never knew who his father was and for whatever reason had no interest in finding out. His mom was enough for him and that's okay. At least your kids don't have to struggle with that.
 
DeathMonkey said:
My friend never knew who his father was and for whatever reason had no interest in finding out. His mom was enough for him and that's okay. At least your kids don't have to struggle with that.
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I made a promise to myself in my 20's before I married that I would never get divorced unless it was the only choice. I've been married for 40 yrs and happy as can be. Kids turned out great. What a difference what I went through and what they have. My Mom left my 1st stepdad after he had a fight with his brother in front of us kids. Had a fireplace poker raised over his head and his brother begged him to kill him. My Mom was cheating with his brother. About 2am that night she loaded us into the car and we drove from Florida back to Texas. Had to stay down in the back seat so he couldn't see us if he was looking. When you're a kid, you just go with the flow I guess.
 
Rockport said:
No never did. I found out that I wasn't his son a couple weeks after my Mom died and was going through some papers so never had a chance to ask her. So now it's probably impossible and I'm not interested anymore in finding out. It is what it is. I did submit my DNA to one of those sites, so who knows.
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Oh crap, you're probably going to turn out to be another half sibling we didn't know about. My father did live in Phoenix for several years.
 
You’re never too tough to hug your parents. Of course the only reason not to is if you never got along and don’t have a quality relationship. Otherwise you’ll wish you did.
 
Big_D said:
You’re never too tough to hug your parents. Of course the only reason not to is if you never got along and don’t have a quality relationship. Otherwise you’ll wish you did.
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My Dad and I were very close. Never hugged, never felt the need. There are other reasons not to hug.
 
kskboys said:
My Dad and I were very close. Never hugged, never felt the need. There are other reasons not to hug.
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Like what you got in math class, when the teacher asked you to work out a problem on the blackboard?
 
Ranching said:
I was raised to be tough and not show emotion. My dad is 85....he's 6'3" and 220lbs. I have seen him every day since March and he is the main reason I retired from coaching. I love him more than anything, but I cannot bring myself to tell him that or even hug him. Is that weird?
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Not weird to me. I was brought up by WWII parents. My Dad served in the Army in Saipan and my mom served at home as a nurses aid. That was a tough generation. They didn't sweat the little stuff because they were always faced with really big stuff. They raised us the same way. There was no pampering us. When we wanted something it was always, "no". LOL. We had to work hard for everything we got. We left the house at sunrise to play with our friends and came back at dinner time. There were no rides to anywhere and no play dates. On holidays our parents kept the children out of the room when adults were present. All the kids were put in another room while the adults engaged in adult conversation. Children really were to be seen and not heard. We learned respect for adults and we never talked back to them the way kids do today. Like you, I never heard my parents say, "I love you" and we rarely hugged after the age of 5. Seeing what I see today, this latest generation are a bunch of weak, angry, unhappy people who wilt at the slightest hardship - not all but many.

It may not have been pretty by today's standards but I think my parents' generation had it right.
 
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