I can't hug my dad

[Melonfeud]

I was raised to be tough and not show emotion. My dad is 85....he's 6'3" and 220lbs. I have seen him every day since March and he is the main reason I retired from coaching. I love him more than anything, but I cannot bring myself to tell him that or even hug him. Is that weird?

* I've heard it stated,,,er,,, (repeatedly) from both of my older sisters,that: "our father is(WAS) such a LARGE TYPE GRADE A#1 A-hole S.O.B." simply because He'd never once heard his father tell him that he loved him,,,for whatever that may be worth to you,BIG-G

 

[Ranching]

* I've heard it stated,,,er,,, (repeatedly) from both of my older sisters,that: "our father is(WAS) such a LARGE TYPE GRADE A#1 A-hole S.O.B." simply because He'd never once heard his father tell him that he loved him,,,for whatever that may be worth to you,BIG-G

Is that your way of calling me an A-hole??? Lol

 

[Melonfeud]

Is that your way of calling me an A-hole??? Lol

must you ask?


* Naw,I'ma merely illustrating the possible long term effects & perhaps residual unintended fallout effecting others over something that's so easy to resolve in grounding that mental baggage

 

[Corso]

I was raised to be tough and not show emotion. My dad is 85....he's 6'3" and 220lbs. I have seen him every day since March and he is the main reason I retired from coaching. I love him more than anything, but I cannot bring myself to tell him that or even hug him. Is that weird?

I lost my mother 7 years ago and I still cry like a child to this day, missing her.
You're Not Weird.

 

[Ranching]

My dad gave me a big bear hug on my birthday this past Sunday. Surprised the hell out of me, but I squeezed him back and it felt awesome!!!

 

[kskboys]

My Dad and I did not hug or say "I love you" to each other. It was not our way and was not necessary.

 

[Winonesoon]

This thread has been inspiring to me. I kiss my dad on the cheek and in funny moments grab his arse. I only have one and life is too short. We have been in fist fights and wrestling matches. He knows that "I love him" and appreciate the time spent.

I'm lucky. Some time life is weird but, i won't let my dad be in total control.

 

[Ranching]

My Dad and I did not hug or say "I love you" to each other. It was not our way and was not necessary.

That's how we are, That's why it surprised me. It felt good.

 

[Rockport]

I was raised to be tough and not show emotion. My dad is 85....he's 6'3" and 220lbs. I have seen him every day since March and he is the main reason I retired from coaching. I love him more than anything, but I cannot bring myself to tell him that or even hug him. Is that weird?

I can't relate as I never knew my biological father until I hired a private eye to hunt him down when I was in my 40's. He died a year later. 1st step dad was abusive and 2nd was an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky.

 

[Ranching]

I can't relate as I never knew my biological father until I hired a private eye to hunt him down when I was in my 40's. He died a year later. 1st step dad was abusive and 2nd was an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky.

I coached many kids that had those same issues. Always tried extra hard to help raise them right. Looks like someone must have helped guide you, looks like you've done well for yourself, many in your situation struggle in life.
Salud, brother!

 

[Ranching]

I can't relate as I never knew my biological father until I hired a private eye to hunt him down when I was in my 40's. He died a year later. 1st step dad was abusive and 2nd was an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky.

That's tough, looks like you did well, regardless. I coached many kids in your situation. Me and my staff always went the extra mile to help raise them right.

 

[Rockport]

That's tough, looks like you did well, regardless. I coached many kids in your situation. Me and my staff always went the extra mile to help raise them right.

The worst part of the whole thing was my older brother. But that’s a whole different story. Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Winonesoon]

I was raised to be tough and not show emotion. My dad is 85....he's 6'3" and 220lbs. I have seen him every day since March and he is the main reason I retired from coaching. I love him more than anything, but I cannot bring myself to tell him that or even hug him. Is that weird?

That's fine Ranch. What ever dynamic is comfortable or spoken is good in your life. That went out the window when I was born. I kiss my boys on the forehead and their wifes. LOL!!

 

[Ranching]

That's fine Ranch. What ever dynamic is comfortable or spoken is good in your life. That went out the window when I was born. I kiss my boys on the forehead and their wifes. LOL!!

I kiss my dog goodnight every night.....lol

 

[Winonesoon]

I kiss my dog goodnight every night.....lol

baby steps...

 

[Runwildboys]

My Dad and I did not hug or say "I love you" to each other. It was not our way and was not necessary.

 

[Runwildboys]

I can't relate as I never knew my biological father until I hired a private eye to hunt him down when I was in my 40's. He died a year later. 1st step dad was abusive and 2nd was an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky.

And yet look at you, you still ended up a Cowboys fan! Overcome and adapt!

 

[CouchCoach]

It is interesting how we inhibit our actions in anticipation of another's reaction and are often wrong in our thinking.

We too often observe the behavior of others and really don't see them. Especially if those behaviors are what they think are expected of them because of past experiences. Just because a person is a certain way doesn't mean they're comfortable or like being that way.

Humans are complicated creatures which is why I prefer my dogs. They treat me the same, show unconditional love and it might sound strange but they have a better detection system for my emotions than my closest friends do because my dogs don't use a people filter. It's a far simpler filter.

 

[nobody]

I can't relate as I never knew my biological father until I hired a private eye to hunt him down when I was in my 40's. He died a year later. 1st step dad was abusive and 2nd was an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky.

I'm sorry that you didn't get a lot of time with your biological father. I hope that the time you did have was good.

 

[Rockport]

I'm sorry that you didn't get a lot of time with your biological father. I hope that the time you did have was good.

It was good. However I found out after he died that he was my older brothers father but not mine. It's ironic because my older brother didn't want anything to do with him and I went to visit him 3 times the year before he died. He lived in Phoenix and I in San Antonio. I'll never forget the look on his face when I knocked on his door. He knew I wasn't his son I'm sure, but never said anything. His wife at the time thought I was only there for any inheritance. *****.