Good afternoon, Pops and Popsdoodles. My high falutin' sonic toothbrush laid down so I ordered a cheap one on account of because. I charged it and that sucker vibrated so intensely that I felt like my lips looked like Homer Simpsons' when he burps. It was highly disconcerting to put that thing in my mouth because it made the roof of my mouth feel violated. Try brushing your teeth with your lips scooting away from that psychotic stick. Well, that's the big interesting thing that happened to me last week.
I've been there, Doodles. Probably everyone has that's dealt with the old C. At first I'd stand in the Chemo center looking out the windows and the area I ran around as a teenager and think 'I don't belong here'. It became a tunnel where I was the main character in a depressing movie and everyone else was blurry. Then I went into remission and was able to look at things differently again. Next, I found a soft fleshy pocket of something around my neck and had to reenter the circus. I was a wiser Xelda and looked at the other people and how they handled it. It feels like I'm walking through a house that's on fire and not getting burned, but feeling the heat.
I'd think this may be my last _______ as well. When your world shrinks to what's important, a lot of things lose value. A few things increased in value and one is my CZ friendships. Each and every one of you matter to me. Y'all do.
Agree completely, Xel. I doubt we’ll ever meet, but every darn one of you holds a special place with me… and I truly value your friendships. I’m closer to you all than some (most) of my immediate bio family. By default you’ve all become family to me…
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I still have trouble accepting that the monster got to me, and talking about it is still upsetting. Had my yearly cystoscopy (“bladder washing”) today and gave myself the rest of the day off work for a lovely 5-day weekend. Visit started with me questioning if my insurance company had approved the procedure. Why? Well, as if it’s not bad enough I’m convinced the “cure“ already exists (hmm, a cure for something intentionally created for unknowing guinea pigs like myself and others(?)… rolls right off the tongue so easily too…), my insurance company denied coverage for my CT scan next month as “not medically necessary” so he and my oncologist have to appeal that stupidity. Anyway, the doctor that does the bladder washing is the surgeon that basically saved my life. Every visit he reminds me (or rather informs his student for teaching purposes since this is a teaching hospital) that this is a highly recurrent demon and so justifying the necessity of this being done on a yearly basis (I’m fine with that and hopefully the results come back good.) Apparently the insurance company views the necessity of the CT differently from the bladder washing. We’ll see what comes of that.
Anyway, this post went waaay longer than intended.
Keep us posted Coach!
Have a great rest of your day all!!
