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CouchCoach

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In this ongoing journey, I have a new challenge, drop one of the weapons I am using against this in order to try and regain part of my quality of life. The risk is this might be the most important part of my defense but I cannot go on like this.

This after getting the best lab report, 3 weeks ago, I've received since this started. The tumor markers are in line and the liver enzymes normal and my oncologist is at a loss for words. She told me she has never had a patient reduce the two tumor markers they're following like this. However, there is a problem, I continue to lose weight because of a lack of appetite and a constant state of queasiness compounded by a change in my sense of smell and taste that began with the herbal supplements. And the weight loss is primarily in muscle mass. I look like a flat chested old woman without a shirt and it is a constant reminder of what stalks me and it's a shock to the system every time I look at myself and worse than that, it robs me of my positive mental attitude, my greatest ally on this journey.

While the homeopathic people mean well, they have little idea of the combined effects of these herbs on my system, the side effects. I find it humorous that they are quick to comment on what the established medical profession doesn't know while they know even less and nobody is watching the companies that produce all of these "wonder herbs". There is money being pocketed on both sides of this.

I am seeing my family in Austin and letting them know of this latest move and my sons will not take it well. "But Dad, you are doing so well, beating all of the odds stacked against you". Doing well is not what I would call it.

Before all of this happened, I couldn't really give you a definition for "quality of life" but that has been defined for me because this is not a life I wish to continue and I must find out if one of the weapons I am using is actually causing more harm than good. If not, I can continue that regimen or make other arrangements.

The question I ask myself is "what am I doing and why am I doing it'? In the beginning, I had to do something and chemo wasn't going to be it so I took this path of herbal supplements, stimulation of the body's electrical system through frequency therapy with the BEMER, Rife Light and most recently, the KLOUD, created by the originator of the BEMER and a true German mad scientist, the Dolphin Vagal Nerve Stimulator. and a change in diet of reduced sugar. acupuncture and kinesiology. And a change in attitude that has shocked my family and friends and quite honestly, myself. Guess I wasn't as take it or leave it about life as I thought I was before this awakened the survival instinct in me.

So, now I get to play that guessing game in the morning and evening when I would be choking down those supplements and that's not an exaggeration lately. Am I making a mistake? Not really, because to continue down that path would lead to a premature end to this journey. That is the lack of quality in a life. The difference between living and existing.

BTW, I have been reluctant to "sell" anything here because I really don't know what has been helping me and that's the way to phrase that. None of this cures anything; it allows my body to try and do that. But this KLOUD so impressed me the first time I used it, I immediately ordered one and it's not cheap but I would pay more than that. Pain started to show up where my abused liver resides about a month ago and using this to the 8th power has kept that in check. The principle of frequency is still applied and cellular stimulation is added and this has become my most prized possession and frontline weapon. If you are interested in knowing more, their website is Centropix.com.

Sorry for the length of this but I try not to post much about this, even in Pop's thread, so when I have something to report, it is seldom just one thing.

One more thing, in the last several months I have begun to deeply ponder something. "Why me"? Why am I 14 months in on a 6 month death sentence and getting a lab report like that when someone far more deserving like my wife fought tooth and nail with that damned chemo to no avail? If you embrace there is a purpose to every life, what's mine? But then I more deeply ponder that question, is there a purpose or are we just organisms colliding with life? My friends, I don't know what it is but I sense something is there. Yes, could be a foxhole conversion but I do not think so. They told me my body was dying but that just served to awaken the dormant spirit within me, one I had chosen to put to sleep.

I don't know but my adult doubt is losing ground to my childlike belief and maybe that is the reason why, the purpose of this journey. And one thing we should never stop learning from, life's lessons. It just never stops teaching.
 

Xelda

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Coachadoodles! Thank you for the update and we know it's not unicorns and rainbows where you're at. We wish it were, but the c word tells us it's not. To hear you are allowing German technology on your path only further establishes you as a modern day James Bond. We will ignore the old woman comment for now. You are COOL and we celebrate the fact that you're here. We hate that you're going through it though. I'm not speaking just for myself because I know the other's will agree with me. Keep on doing what you do and we're with you in every way we can possibly be, which is what we do.
 

CouchCoach

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Coachadoodles! Thank you for the update and we know it's not unicorns and rainbows where you're at. We wish it were, but the c word tells us it's not. To hear you are allowing German technology on your path only further establishes you as a modern day James Bond. We will ignore the old woman comment for now. You are COOL and we celebrate the fact that you're here. We hate that you're going through it though. I'm not speaking just for myself because I know the other's will agree with me. Keep on doing what you do and we're with you in every way we can possibly be, which is what we do.
What I should have written was while I may be flat-chested, I am still cute and a butt/leg man would dig me.
 

Cowboys_22

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Hoping and praying for the best CC. Hopefully dropping the herbal treatment doesn’t slow up the improvement the Dr’s have seen.

You never know unless you try. You might get your strength back and go back to doing pushups to get your physique back.

Since X mentioned James Bond, I did detect a slight Brit accent in your last post. Hmm

Wishing you the best amigo :star:
 

CouchCoach

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Hoping and praying for the best CC. Hopefully dropping the herbal treatment doesn’t slow up the improvement the Dr’s have seen.

You never know unless you try. You might get your strength back and go back to doing pushups to get your physique back.

Since X mentioned James Bond, I did detect a slight Brit accent in your last post. Hmm

Wishing you the best amigo :star:
Thanks, 22. If this site had audio, I would introduce myself as Coach, CouchCoach.
 

kskboys

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In this ongoing journey, I have a new challenge, drop one of the weapons I am using against this in order to try and regain part of my quality of life. The risk is this might be the most important part of my defense but I cannot go on like this.

This after getting the best lab report, 3 weeks ago, I've received since this started. The tumor markers are in line and the liver enzymes normal and my oncologist is at a loss for words. She told me she has never had a patient reduce the two tumor markers they're following like this. However, there is a problem, I continue to lose weight because of a lack of appetite and a constant state of queasiness compounded by a change in my sense of smell and taste that began with the herbal supplements. And the weight loss is primarily in muscle mass. I look like a flat chested old woman without a shirt and it is a constant reminder of what stalks me and it's a shock to the system every time I look at myself and worse than that, it robs me of my positive mental attitude, my greatest ally on this journey.

While the homeopathic people mean well, they have little idea of the combined effects of these herbs on my system, the side effects. I find it humorous that they are quick to comment on what the established medical profession doesn't know while they know even less and nobody is watching the companies that produce all of these "wonder herbs". There is money being pocketed on both sides of this.

I am seeing my family in Austin and letting them know of this latest move and my sons will not take it well. "But Dad, you are doing so well, beating all of the odds stacked against you". Doing well is not what I would call it.

Before all of this happened, I couldn't really give you a definition for "quality of life" but that has been defined for me because this is not a life I wish to continue and I must find out if one of the weapons I am using is actually causing more harm than good. If not, I can continue that regimen or make other arrangements.

The question I ask myself is "what am I doing and why am I doing it'? In the beginning, I had to do something and chemo wasn't going to be it so I took this path of herbal supplements, stimulation of the body's electrical system through frequency therapy with the BEMER, Rife Light and most recently, the KLOUD, created by the originator of the BEMER and a true German mad scientist, the Dolphin Vagal Nerve Stimulator. and a change in diet of reduced sugar. acupuncture and kinesiology. And a change in attitude that has shocked my family and friends and quite honestly, myself. Guess I wasn't as take it or leave it about life as I thought I was before this awakened the survival instinct in me.

So, now I get to play that guessing game in the morning and evening when I would be choking down those supplements and that's not an exaggeration lately. Am I making a mistake? Not really, because to continue down that path would lead to a premature end to this journey. That is the lack of quality in a life. The difference between living and existing.

BTW, I have been reluctant to "sell" anything here because I really don't know what has been helping me and that's the way to phrase that. None of this cures anything; it allows my body to try and do that. But this KLOUD so impressed me the first time I used it, I immediately ordered one and it's not cheap but I would pay more than that. Pain started to show up where my abused liver resides about a month ago and using this to the 8th power has kept that in check. The principle of frequency is still applied and cellular stimulation is added and this has become my most prized possession and frontline weapon. If you are interested in knowing more, their website is Centropix.com.

Sorry for the length of this but I try not to post much about this, even in Pop's thread, so when I have something to report, it is seldom just one thing.

One more thing, in the last several months I have begun to deeply ponder something. "Why me"? Why am I 14 months in on a 6 month death sentence and getting a lab report like that when someone far more deserving like my wife fought tooth and nail with that damned chemo to no avail? If you embrace there is a purpose to every life, what's mine? But then I more deeply ponder that question, is there a purpose or are we just organisms colliding with life? My friends, I don't know what it is but I sense something is there. Yes, could be a foxhole conversion but I do not think so. They told me my body was dying but that just served to awaken the dormant spirit within me, one I had chosen to put to sleep.

I don't know but my adult doubt is losing ground to my childlike belief and maybe that is the reason why, the purpose of this journey. And one thing we should never stop learning from, life's lessons. It just never stops teaching.
I honestly do not know what I'd do if chemo was recommended. Bless you and may things simply turn out the best way that they can.
 

GrammaJan

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In this ongoing journey, I have a new challenge, drop one of the weapons I am using against this in order to try and regain part of my quality of life. The risk is this might be the most important part of my defense but I cannot go on like this.

This after getting the best lab report, 3 weeks ago, I've received since this started. The tumor markers are in line and the liver enzymes normal and my oncologist is at a loss for words. She told me she has never had a patient reduce the two tumor markers they're following like this. However, there is a problem, I continue to lose weight because of a lack of appetite and a constant state of queasiness compounded by a change in my sense of smell and taste that began with the herbal supplements. And the weight loss is primarily in muscle mass. I look like a flat chested old woman without a shirt and it is a constant reminder of what stalks me and it's a shock to the system every time I look at myself and worse than that, it robs me of my positive mental attitude, my greatest ally on this journey.

While the homeopathic people mean well, they have little idea of the combined effects of these herbs on my system, the side effects. I find it humorous that they are quick to comment on what the established medical profession doesn't know while they know even less and nobody is watching the companies that produce all of these "wonder herbs". There is money being pocketed on both sides of this.

I am seeing my family in Austin and letting them know of this latest move and my sons will not take it well. "But Dad, you are doing so well, beating all of the odds stacked against you". Doing well is not what I would call it.

Before all of this happened, I couldn't really give you a definition for "quality of life" but that has been defined for me because this is not a life I wish to continue and I must find out if one of the weapons I am using is actually causing more harm than good. If not, I can continue that regimen or make other arrangements.

The question I ask myself is "what am I doing and why am I doing it'? In the beginning, I had to do something and chemo wasn't going to be it so I took this path of herbal supplements, stimulation of the body's electrical system through frequency therapy with the BEMER, Rife Light and most recently, the KLOUD, created by the originator of the BEMER and a true German mad scientist, the Dolphin Vagal Nerve Stimulator. and a change in diet of reduced sugar. acupuncture and kinesiology. And a change in attitude that has shocked my family and friends and quite honestly, myself. Guess I wasn't as take it or leave it about life as I thought I was before this awakened the survival instinct in me.

So, now I get to play that guessing game in the morning and evening when I would be choking down those supplements and that's not an exaggeration lately. Am I making a mistake? Not really, because to continue down that path would lead to a premature end to this journey. That is the lack of quality in a life. The difference between living and existing.

BTW, I have been reluctant to "sell" anything here because I really don't know what has been helping me and that's the way to phrase that. None of this cures anything; it allows my body to try and do that. But this KLOUD so impressed me the first time I used it, I immediately ordered one and it's not cheap but I would pay more than that. Pain started to show up where my abused liver resides about a month ago and using this to the 8th power has kept that in check. The principle of frequency is still applied and cellular stimulation is added and this has become my most prized possession and frontline weapon. If you are interested in knowing more, their website is Centropix.com.

Sorry for the length of this but I try not to post much about this, even in Pop's thread, so when I have something to report, it is seldom just one thing.

One more thing, in the last several months I have begun to deeply ponder something. "Why me"? Why am I 14 months in on a 6 month death sentence and getting a lab report like that when someone far more deserving like my wife fought tooth and nail with that damned chemo to no avail? If you embrace there is a purpose to every life, what's mine? But then I more deeply ponder that question, is there a purpose or are we just organisms colliding with life? My friends, I don't know what it is but I sense something is there. Yes, could be a foxhole conversion but I do not think so. They told me my body was dying but that just served to awaken the dormant spirit within me, one I had chosen to put to sleep.

I don't know but my adult doubt is losing ground to my childlike belief and maybe that is the reason why, the purpose of this journey. And one thing we should never stop learning from, life's lessons. It just never stops teaching.

I will go back and re-read your post this evening. Been seeing a lot of info from a lot of people I know on these sort of topics lately, and the guilt weighs heavy. Always praying for the best for you, my friend.
 

CouchCoach

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I honestly do not know what I'd do if chemo was recommended. Bless you and may things simply turn out the best way that they can.
Depends on the stage of the disease, I was stage 4, treatable but incurable and terminal. Makes the decision easier since that is nothing but extending life. If they could have fixed me as they did Bullet, Jan and Xelda, different story.

Also, I went down that path with my wife 12 years ago and it's still seems like yesterday. For stage 4 victims, I do not know which is worse, the disease or the treatment because they give it to you as long as your body can take it.
 

CouchCoach

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I will go back and re-read your post this evening. Been seeing a lot of info from a lot of people I know on these sort of topics lately, and the guilt weighs heavy. Always praying for the best for you, my friend.
Thank you but I do not understand the guilt part of that.

One thing about this journey, I really didn't have a true grasp of what I didn't know until I opened my mind to the possibilities.
 

Runwildboys

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In this ongoing journey, I have a new challenge, drop one of the weapons I am using against this in order to try and regain part of my quality of life. The risk is this might be the most important part of my defense but I cannot go on like this.

This after getting the best lab report, 3 weeks ago, I've received since this started. The tumor markers are in line and the liver enzymes normal and my oncologist is at a loss for words. She told me she has never had a patient reduce the two tumor markers they're following like this. However, there is a problem, I continue to lose weight because of a lack of appetite and a constant state of queasiness compounded by a change in my sense of smell and taste that began with the herbal supplements. And the weight loss is primarily in muscle mass. I look like a flat chested old woman without a shirt and it is a constant reminder of what stalks me and it's a shock to the system every time I look at myself and worse than that, it robs me of my positive mental attitude, my greatest ally on this journey.

While the homeopathic people mean well, they have little idea of the combined effects of these herbs on my system, the side effects. I find it humorous that they are quick to comment on what the established medical profession doesn't know while they know even less and nobody is watching the companies that produce all of these "wonder herbs". There is money being pocketed on both sides of this.

I am seeing my family in Austin and letting them know of this latest move and my sons will not take it well. "But Dad, you are doing so well, beating all of the odds stacked against you". Doing well is not what I would call it.

Before all of this happened, I couldn't really give you a definition for "quality of life" but that has been defined for me because this is not a life I wish to continue and I must find out if one of the weapons I am using is actually causing more harm than good. If not, I can continue that regimen or make other arrangements.

The question I ask myself is "what am I doing and why am I doing it'? In the beginning, I had to do something and chemo wasn't going to be it so I took this path of herbal supplements, stimulation of the body's electrical system through frequency therapy with the BEMER, Rife Light and most recently, the KLOUD, created by the originator of the BEMER and a true German mad scientist, the Dolphin Vagal Nerve Stimulator. and a change in diet of reduced sugar. acupuncture and kinesiology. And a change in attitude that has shocked my family and friends and quite honestly, myself. Guess I wasn't as take it or leave it about life as I thought I was before this awakened the survival instinct in me.

So, now I get to play that guessing game in the morning and evening when I would be choking down those supplements and that's not an exaggeration lately. Am I making a mistake? Not really, because to continue down that path would lead to a premature end to this journey. That is the lack of quality in a life. The difference between living and existing.

BTW, I have been reluctant to "sell" anything here because I really don't know what has been helping me and that's the way to phrase that. None of this cures anything; it allows my body to try and do that. But this KLOUD so impressed me the first time I used it, I immediately ordered one and it's not cheap but I would pay more than that. Pain started to show up where my abused liver resides about a month ago and using this to the 8th power has kept that in check. The principle of frequency is still applied and cellular stimulation is added and this has become my most prized possession and frontline weapon. If you are interested in knowing more, their website is Centropix.com.

Sorry for the length of this but I try not to post much about this, even in Pop's thread, so when I have something to report, it is seldom just one thing.

One more thing, in the last several months I have begun to deeply ponder something. "Why me"? Why am I 14 months in on a 6 month death sentence and getting a lab report like that when someone far more deserving like my wife fought tooth and nail with that damned chemo to no avail? If you embrace there is a purpose to every life, what's mine? But then I more deeply ponder that question, is there a purpose or are we just organisms colliding with life? My friends, I don't know what it is but I sense something is there. Yes, could be a foxhole conversion but I do not think so. They told me my body was dying but that just served to awaken the dormant spirit within me, one I had chosen to put to sleep.

I don't know but my adult doubt is losing ground to my childlike belief and maybe that is the reason why, the purpose of this journey. And one thing we should never stop learning from, life's lessons. It just never stops teaching.
I'm going to just go ahead and assume you've tried smoking weed to counter the nausea and lack of appetite...or if smoking is no good, ingesting it in one form or another.
 

CouchCoach

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I'm going to just go ahead and assume you've tried smoking weed to counter the nausea and lack of appetite...or if smoking is no good, ingesting it in one form or another.
Since this cough took up residence 3 months ago, I can't even smoke my cigars, which I do not inhale.

I have gummies but the only effect I have noticed is instability walking and living with all tile floors and a lot of cushion missing from my body, I don't want to exacerbate the challenges. But I am going to give them another shot.
 

Runwildboys

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Since this cough took up residence 3 months ago, I can't even smoke my cigars, which I do not inhale.

I have gummies but the only effect I have noticed is instability walking and living with all tile floors and a lot of cushion missing from my body, I don't want to exacerbate the challenges. But I am going to give them another shot.
Do they make something more substantial and less sugary than gummies? It seems like those would be counterproductive for queasiness. Maybe you should get a walker, if you aren't already using one, especially when you're on tiled floors...or a couple of physically fit (female) nurses, to hold you up when you walk, and hold you down when you sit.
 

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Thank you but I do not understand the guilt part of that.

One thing about this journey, I really didn't have a true grasp of what I didn't know until I opened my mind to the possibilities.
I understand the feeling of guilt in surviving. I don’t understand why those feelings come on occasion. It’s hard to clearly explain other than trying in vain to understand why I was spared and someone else- like a child or younger person than me was not. All of those things are a mystery. A mystery we will never understand in this life.

The mystery of living and dying is beyond me. I can say however that friends like you@CouchCoach inspire me and remind me of the amazing power of the will to live and the courage it takes to maintain that. I appreciate this community and the support it provides to those of us who come here to commiserate.
 

Bobhaze

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Do they make something more substantial and less sugary than gummies? It seems like those would be counterproductive for queasiness. Maybe you should get a walker, if you aren't already using one, especially when you're on tiled floors...or a couple of physically fit (female) nurses, to hold you up when you walk, and hold you down when you sit.
Physically fit female nurses sounds like a really good idea.
 

kskboys

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Do they make something more substantial and less sugary than gummies? It seems like those would be counterproductive for queasiness. Maybe you should get a walker, if you aren't already using one, especially when you're on tiled floors...or a couple of physically fit (female) nurses, to hold you up when you walk, and hold you down when you sit.
As long as they're holding me...........................
 

Runwildboys

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I understand the feeling of guilt in surviving. I don’t understand why those feelings come on occasion. It’s hard to clearly explain other than trying in vain to understand why I was spared and someone else- like a child or younger person than me was not. All of those things are a mystery. A mystery we will never understand in this life.

The mystery of living and dying is beyond me. I can say however that friends like you@CouchCoach inspire me and remind me of the amazing power of the will to live and the courage it takes to maintain that. I appreciate this community and the support it provides to those of us who come here to commiserate.
You should never feel guilty for surviving, unless you personally and intentionally caused someone else's death in order to survive. Other than that, you should just feel lucky, assuming you're happy to be alive.

Think about the chances you had of even being born in the first place. The universe came into being from a tiny primordial atom, expanded and cooled, leaving a murky expanse, and thanks to gravity, everything in that expanse began to coalesce into various stars, then galaxies, planets, etc. Then the simplest beginnings of life emerged, and our sun, moon, and the other planets in our solar system created a place that protected our Earth long enough for that life to evolve into something self aware, and reproductive. The odds of 2 people coming together at just the right time for just the right sperm and egg to become you are beyond comprehension. You just happen to be one of the lucky few to have ever experienced it. If you don't feel guilty for everyone who's never been, you certainly shouldn't feel guilty about anyone who has been.
 

CouchCoach

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Do they make something more substantial and less sugary than gummies? It seems like those would be counterproductive for queasiness. Maybe you should get a walker, if you aren't already using one, especially when you're on tiled floors...or a couple of physically fit (female) nurses, to hold you up when you walk, and hold you down when you sit.
"they" are criminals in Texas and probably will be through this century. Sugar doesn't concern them. The legal pot in Texas for medicinal purposes is a joke and that come from the docs. I told mine I had a contact for the real thing and she said "good".
 
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