My Doctor Gave Me Bad News Yesterday

Crazed Liotta Eyes

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Cancer. Still haven't told anyone in my family. I don't think I'll seek treatment. I've done everything I want to accomplish, seen every part of the world I care to see, and then some. I think I'm done. I'm not looking for well wishes so keep them to yourselves, as well as your prayers. I'm not looking for sympathy. Just seeing if actually writing it down will wake me up from my shock.
Sorry to hear that man. I'll echo what others have said and suggest that you fight it with all you got.
 

JoeKing

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@JoeKing

Feel free to send me a PM man anytime, for some reason I can’t send you one. You know my wife is in medicine if you have any questions or advice on what to expect treatment wise. I(we) are here for ya buddy 24/7 if need be :cool:
I recommend we take this conversation to the other forum we frequent. I still have my PM privilege there.
 

SlammedZero

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Damn man, super sorry to hear this. I really wish they could figure out a way to nip cancer in the butt. I understand we are progressing with it but is still a thorn in the side of humans. Good luck in your journey to fight this (and I don't mean that in a condescending nature. Really, I wish you all the best) and I trust you will figure out the best path for you and your loved ones to deal with this.

I know this may pose difficult, and sound cheesy, but stay positive man! Energy ripples out and effects everything around you. You just may be able to use that effectively in your fight. :)
 

CWR

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Joe, I don't know anything about you or your condition, but there are alternative treatments out there that don't include chemo or radiation. Give yourself some time to recover from the shock of the diagnosis and allow the strength of your faith, family and friends lift you to a better place. Peace to you, Brother. We are here for you.

My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He watched my grandmother fight it the traditional route. This was 25 years ago, and Im sure medicine has advanced. However, after witnessing first hand how miserable her fight was he elected to decline traditional treatments. He instead started a program of juicing, supplements and "zapping," supposedly creating an alkaline environment in his body. Long story short he beat cancer without any supposed medical explanation. Im sure the doctors on this board can argue against what he did, but in his case it worked. Im trying to locate his program manuscript now. Although Id never want to influence anyone away from aggressive treatment, Id at least like to share it with people who have already made up their minds.
 

sean10mm

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You need to be really careful about interpreting things like average life expectancy for X cancer, because that doesn't always mean what it sounds like it means. If you can get past this guy's writing style, he explains why:

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/median-isnt-message/2013-01

He was diagnosed with incurable cancer and given an 8 month prognosis in 1982. He died in 2002. From a lung cancer unrelated to his original terminal cancer diagnosis. He benefited from better cancer treatments, but also from realizing that even back then a lot of people lived way beyond the average just fine.

This was 25 years ago, and Im sure medicine has advanced. .

It hasn't just advanced, it's basically not even the same thing anymore. They're re-writing DNA and stuff. It's like comparing coal power to nuclear fusion.

On the flipside, doctors have gotten way smarter about not even trying mega aggressive treatment when there really is no hope. They're much more likely to give you medical weed and painkillers and let you chill out than do things that are 99% likely to kill you and 1% likely to kill the cancer first.
 
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CouchCoach

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Cancer. Still haven't told anyone in my family. I don't think I'll seek treatment. I've done everything I want to accomplish, seen every part of the world I care to see, and then some. I think I'm done. I'm not looking for well wishes so keep them to yourselves, as well as your prayers. I'm not looking for sympathy. Just seeing if actually writing it down will wake me up from my shock.
Joe, I don't know how to respond to this, especially the bold. So, I am going to ignore that request and I hope after the shock wears off, you can look at your life from the outside in. I mean through your family's eyes.

I lost my wife to that monster coming up on 9 years in February and while I will never be over or past that, one thing I know for certain. She fought with every bit of courage and fortitude she could muster. She fought to stay with us, her family and friends, because she knew how important she was to us. When she went into Comfort Care with Hospice, which is administered morphine and the end, she stayed alive a full 48 hours and her attendant stood there at the end of the bed and shook he head and said "what a strong heart" and all I could murmur was "you have no idea".

Joe, strong heart. I know this is a lot to handle, and it doesn't help with this diagnosis during this time of year, but I've been making a suggestion for years, both at the old forum and now here that I am going to alter for you. I ask posters to just take one moment and look at every person in that room on Thanksgiving and think of life with them not in it. I am asking you to think of them with you not in their lives. That you chose not to fight to be with them.

When my family gathers, there is a moment that someone will bring up just how hard my wife fought the monster and I will look at the faces and see the smiles because they know what I know, that's how much she loved us.

Whatever you decide, let us know and let us know how we can support you because that's the magic here. It's not just about a football team that frustrates us, it's about the camaraderie that comforts us. So, to hell with your request, the well wishes are coming but I will start with the wish that you want to get well.
 

MichaelWinicki

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You need to be really careful about interpreting things like average life expectancy for X cancer, because that doesn't always mean what it sounds like it means. If you can get past this guy's writing style, he explains why:

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/median-isnt-message/2013-01

He was diagnosed with incurable cancer and given an 8 month prognosis in 1982. He died in 2002. From a lung cancer unrelated to his original terminal cancer diagnosis. He benefited from better cancer treatments, but also from realizing that even back then a lot of people lived way beyond the average just fine.



It hasn't just advanced, it's basically not even the same thing anymore. They're re-writing DNA and stuff. It's like comparing coal power to nuclear fusion.

On the flipside, doctors have gotten way smarter about not even trying mega aggressive treatment when there really is no hope. They're much more likely to give you medical weed and painkillers and let you chill out than do things that are 99% likely to kill you and 1% likely to kill the cancer first.

Excellent post.

And while the word "cancer" is often said in hushed tones, many types of cancer are far more common and the survival rate much higher than what many think.

For example, 1 out of 9 men will develop prostate cancer... 1 out of 9. That's a lot! But most do not perish from the disease.
 

Boom

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Joe, I don't know how to respond to this, especially the bold. So, I am going to ignore that request and I hope after the shock wears off, you can look at your life from the outside in. I mean through your family's eyes.

I lost my wife to that monster coming up on 9 years in February and while I will never be over or past that, one thing I know for certain. She fought with every bit of courage and fortitude she could muster. She fought to stay with us, her family and friends, because she knew how important she was to us. When she went into Comfort Care with Hospice, which is administered morphine and the end, she stayed alive a full 48 hours and her attendant stood there at the end of the bed and shook he head and said "what a strong heart" and all I could murmur was "you have no idea".

Joe, strong heart. I know this is a lot to handle, and it doesn't help with this diagnosis during this time of year, but I've been making a suggestion for years, both at the old forum and now here that I am going to alter for you. I ask posters to just take one moment and look at every person in that room on Thanksgiving and think of life with them not in it. I am asking you to think of them with you not in their lives. That you chose not to fight to be with them.

When my family gathers, there is a moment that someone will bring up just how hard my wife fought the monster and I will look at the faces and see the smiles because they know what I know, that's how much she loved us.

Whatever you decide, let us know and let us know how we can support you because that's the magic here. It's not just about a football team that frustrates us, it's about the camaraderie that comforts us. So, to hell with your request, the well wishes are coming but I will start with the wish that you want to get well.

That was beautiful. Thank you for your story.
 

CouchCoach

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I sincerely appreciate everyone's advice and encouragement to not give up.
Brother, I do not know how you feel but I know how that diagnosis feels. I can still recall with minute detail when we were told this was stage 4 terminal but treatable. It was a death senetence but she chose to fight that with every ounce of determination she could bring forth. And when it got worse, she fought harder.

Joe, there's not an hour of the day that she doesn't cross my mind but I cannot tell you how I would feel if she'd just given up. The odds were against us but the odds are numbers, no heart, no soul and she refused to go quietly into that night.

Man, you've been on my mind a lot since you posted this and I just can't shake this. That monster doesn't deserve for you to just give up to it. Because it's never happy with just taking you, it wants to suck the life out of all those that care about you, the damned thing thrives on collateral damage. If I am out of line here, just tell me and I will stop but I am not giving up easily, I lived with a fighter.
 

Keithfansince5

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I am sorry to hear about this Joe. Personally I would not seek medical help as I do not believe what they believe. They think Chemo and Radiation is the answer. It isn't. It indiscriminately destroys everything in its path. On the other hand, there has been Dr's of yesteryear who have discovered cures for cancer but since they do not involve any Pharmaceuticals, they have been ignored and shunned. For instance, Dr. Johanna Budwig discovered how to cure cancer through a diet rich in certain kinds of fats and cottage cheese. She was nominated for 6 Nobel peace awards in her lifetime. She treated patients who had all gone through the conventional methods and were given up to die. She cured 90% of them. Her method is described as the Budwig Protocal. https://healthwyze.org/reports/190-the-true-budwig-protocol

Point is, there are options that won't send you to an early grave.

Prayer for you to know Jesus so your eternity is assured in Heaven. God bless.
 

FloridaRob

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God Bless Joe. While your mom had a long 10 years of fighting that monster, you still had your mom for that long to talk to. I would never want my loved ones to suffer were they to get sick and I truly understand your logic, but I would also want them around as long as they could be and fight with everthing they had to get better. While there have been tremendous improvements in fighting that disease over the past 10 years, what does the next five years or even one year hold for us. Maybe something is just around the corner that will finally defeat cancer. Hang in there as long as you can. My prayers are with you.
 

JoeKing

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@JoeKing . I'm leaving for Rome on Sunday, i will say a few prayers for you from some of the holy sites around the city that i will be visiting.
That would mean a great deal to me. Thank you so very much. Just know I'm a Baptist but a believer none the less. Rome is a beautiful city and the Vatican even doubly so. I just wish I could have visited the catacombs.
 

nightrain

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That would mean a great deal to me. Thank you so very much. Just know I'm a Baptist but a believer none the less. Rome is a beautiful city and the Vatican even doubly so. I just wish I could have visited the catacombs.

Joe, I have always been curious about this process and just wanted to share it with you. All the best to you in whatever you decide upon. Sorry I could't get it to you through PM.
https://www.foundationmedicine.com/...-critical-step-to-help-educate-patients-about
 
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