Things Not to Say to a Cop or a Judge

MWH1967

MWH1967

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You haven't made an intelligent decision today and I don't expect you to start now. So, lets have it, what's it gonna be?
 
csirl

csirl

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I gave our local Superintendent a severe dressing down recently - a couple of his officers messed up an investigation where a family member was the victim.

Would love to have been a fly on the wall when he spoke to the two officers involved.
 
Runwildboys

Runwildboys

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CowboysZone DIEHARD Fan
CF74 said:
Has anyone ever refused to stand for the judge? Your Dishonor!!!
Click to expand...
Back when I was delivering furniture, a woman moved over into my truck while approaching a toll booth. Everyone, including the lady in the booth saw it happen and all stated it was clearly her fault. Long story short, sometime after the event, I got a call from the Massachusetts State Police, asking if I'd appear in court to testify on the investigating officer's behalf. This woman was such a ............well, she filed a complaint against the officer, claiming that he did a poor job of investigating the accident.

When the judge came in, the bailiff called, "All rise.", but she didn't. The judge looked at her and said, "Ma'am, please stand up."
She replied, "If it's all the same to you, I've been on my feet for 2 days, and I'm too tired to stand."
He asked incredulously, "Are you telling me you haven't sat down for 2 days???"
She said, "Well, no..."
"Ma'am, STAND UP!!!!"

She lost her case before it even started. lol
 

Bigdog

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Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Motorist:No
Cop: 90 mph
Motorist: Well I would’ve hit 100mph but you stopped me.
 

Bigdog

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BrAinPaiNt said:
Some years ago we had a check point and one of the questions was...any weapons in the car. Without missing a beat I said...just my wife.
He started laughing and told his buddy what I said.

He never did find out if I had any other weapons in the car.
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One of my friends in college was crossing the Canadian border into Canada and the female border patrol person asked if he had anything lethal in the car. He replied in such a cheesy way by saying the only thing that are lethal are these right here (shows his bicep muscles). She wasn’t too happy, order him out of his Jeep and basically stripped it on the side of the road.
 
Flamma

Flamma

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When a police officer asks your drunk *** to please step out of the car, you say, officer, if I could walk I wouldn't be driving.

Officer pulls a woman over and informs her that she was driving the wrong way on a one way street. She says, I was only going one way.

True story. My mother and father were arguing in the car. Pops was driving. Police officer pulls them over. When the officer reaches the window my mother says...…..Officer, don't mess with my husband when he's been drinking.
 
Vtwin

Vtwin

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Bigdog said:
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Motorist:No
Cop: 90 mph
Motorist: Well I would’ve hit 100mph but you stopped me.
Click to expand...
Me, on I-87 racing the sun to get home at the end of a two+ week 7k mile road trip. Crest a hill and see the NYS trooper in the median. Glance down and see that I am into triple digits. With a heavy sigh I throw up my left arm signaling a right turn and began to pull over as I was going by him.

Trooper: Do you know why I pulled you over.
Me: I might have been going a little to fast.
Trooper: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Well, the speedo read 85 but its a Harley speedo so who the hell knows.
Trooper: Laughs.

A little friendly conversation and off I go with a verbal warning.
 
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