Worst pickup lines that YOU have ever used...

[jacs]

most of them are in spanish but "Si como lo mueves lo bates hay que rico chocolate"

 

[Yeagermeister]

"Need some help with those?" while looking at her breastases

Is that before or after you pay?

 

[jksmith269]

The line I used most was

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Then I'd follow it up with where did you go to school? Always got a conversation going.

Once my buddy and I walked into a Hardees in Richmond and I was telling him to just walk up and use the line on any girl when I noticed a couple hot girls sitting in the back. All macho like I said watch its like this. I walked back and said to the one in the middle "Don't I know you from somewhere? and she replied "Yeah your in my Adv. Marketting class." Shows hom much attention I was paying in class because I really didn't have a clue who she was, or I never would have tried that.

Needless to say I wasn't looking for someone to start a relationship with just someone to hit it with. So that kinda blew up in my face but I did get her number. This was back in 1988 so its been a while ago.....

 

[Mamba]

Me:"Hey, I love you(very subtle)....what's up, how you doing ? "
Her: What ?
Me: How's it going ?
Never Worked....I wonder why ?

 

[Banned_n_austin]

Funny story...sometimes my cousin still calls it my best "Pick Up" line.

We were both stationed in Louisiana and I had just gotten off 24 hour duty.
We shared a place with a couple of other guys off post and he picked me as he had the day off.

We stopped at a video rental store to get some movies to watch later in the day.

We both walked in, he in his civilian clothes, I in my uniform.

Two very nice looking hotties were working in there that day.

So we start walking back to the section with the new movies and I was trying to look all cool and stuff and the urge to sneeze hit me.

Well as you know when you sneeze most of the times your ears kind of clog for that second and you can't anything for that second other then your sneeze.

Well when I sneezed I could tell I just let a rip roaring, cheek flapping, a hole hurting, make you turn around to see if your a-hole flew down on the floor..fart. The thing actually hurt like someone took an old time wash board across my sphincter lol.

Needless to say I was embarrased, the girls looked like they were in shock and started giggling and my cousin was laughing so hard he was crying.

We got a couple of movies and I joked around about it and when we got back in the car my cousin looked at me and said....nice pick up line hahaha.

:laugh2:

 

[Banned_n_austin]

I always say ... "you've got a real nice can on you"

It works every time.

 

[Payton34Smith22]

Hahahaha!

 

[Banned_n_austin]

I've sent tap water (with lemon) to girls a few times and had the bartender tell them it was from the gentleman at the end of the bar (me). Then I'd point and wink.

Thus, living up to your name.

 

[Hostile]

Funny thread.

I love to flirt. It is the only thing I miss about being single.

I have a few.

*********************************************************

This one was used on me by a very pretty blonde.

Blonde: "What's the difference between ooh and aah?"
Me: "I don't know."
Blonde: "Come with me and I'll show you."
Me:

*********************************************************

My brother is a goof. We were in a restaurant and he asked if he could have anything on the menu. The waitress said yes so he dropped it on the floor and asked her to stand on it.

*********************************************************

Me and a buddy were going into a store to get something and saw 2 very pretty girls with car problems. An old couple was trying to jump start them and getting very upset. I asked if we could help. The old man disconnected the cables from his car, threw then on the ground and drove off.

The poor girl who owned the car was so apologetic. Todd pulled his car over and we hooked the cables up to his car. It did not even make a clicking sound. That almost can't be. We let it charge and tried again. Nothing.

So I got in the car and tried. Nothing. Then I happened to notice that the car wasn't all the way in Park. I put it in Park, got out, said "I know what it needs. The electric kiss." I then disconnected the cables, kissed my fingers and patted the car gently.

I told the girl it would start. To which she replied "sure it will." I assured her it would and told her to try it. You should have seen their eyes. She was out of the car and all over me. She wanted to know how I did it. I said, "it's a gift I've always had."

Got phone numbers and then Todd and I went in the store. He asked me how I did it and when I told him he called me a dog.

The 4 of us had a very nice date.

*********************************************************
After Top Gun came out I wanted someone to pull a scam with like the "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" scene. My best friend on the football team in college was just the guy. An absolute nut who looked like he was born on a surfboard.

So Perry and I were cruising the Mall and we saw these 2 nice looking girls. I said, "hey, follow my lead." We walked up to the girls and I said, "excuse me, would you girls settle an argument for us?" They asked what argument.

I said, "which of us is uglier? I'm a lot uglier than he is right?"

Perry jumped right in and started protesting that he was much uglier than me. We then got into a mini discussion in front of them assuring each other that though the other guy was indeed ugly, he was not as ugly.

The girls just sat there trying to figure out how to answer. Finally one of them said, "neither one of you are ugly."

I said, "oh don't be kind. We know the truth. He's ugly, but I'm hideous right?"

Of course she tried to be kind and repeated that we weren't ugly.

I said, "pretty girls like you wouldn't go out with ugly guys like us."

To which they replied, "sure we would."

Mission accomplished.

*********************************************************

I made a little bubble letter sign on a 3" x 5" colored card and colored in the letters. Then I laminated it in hard plastic. I put it in a bowl of water and stuck it in the freezer and let it freeze solid.

Next day I called up the girl and told her I had something for her and asked if I could come by. When I got to her house I handed her this big chunk of ice and told her there was something inside. I had a hammer but she opted to throw it on the sidewalk.

The card popped out.

It said, "Now that we've broken the ice, will you go out with me?"

2 and a half months later we were married.

 

[Mamba]

I made a little bubble letter sign on a 3" x 5" colored card and colored in the letters. Then I laminated it in hard plastic. I put it in a bowl of water and stck it in the freezer and let it freeze solid.

Next day I called up the girl and told her I had something for her and asked if I could come by. When I got to her house I handed her this big chunk of ice and told her there was something inside. I had a hammer but she opted to throw it on the sidewalk.

The card popped out.

It said, "Now that we've broken the ice, will you go out with me?"

2 and a half months later we were married.

I'm doing that right now as we speak.

 

[Juke99]

I made a little bubble letter sign on a 3" x 5" colored card and colored in the letters. Then I laminated it in hard plastic. I put it in a bowl of water and stuck it in the freezer and let it freeze solid.

Next day I called up the girl and told her I had something for her and asked if I could come by. When I got to her house I handed her this big chunk of ice and told her there was something inside. I had a hammer but she opted to throw it on the sidewalk.

The card popped out.

It said, "Now that we've broken the ice, will you go out with me?"

2 and a half months later we were married.

That is SOOOOO bad, it's good.

By the way, did this ice incident happen in OLean?

 

[Hostile]

I'm doing that right now as we speak.

I tried to talk Dale and Catch17 into trying it a couple years ago. They both wussed out.

 

[Kangaroo]

Funny I never ever used any corny pick up lines. Amazingly I was such a dork and goofball in highschool and shy until like the end of my junior year then I was so cocky I would just walk up and ask them for name and phone number and get it.

So I am totaly lost of this subject :

 

[Banned_n_austin]

Here's another one I use: As long as I've got a face, you'll have a place to sit.

 

[Juke99]

Here's another one I use: As long as I've got a face, you'll have a place to sit.

Classy....that and a $10 bill might work.

 

[Juke99]

Funny I never ever used any corny pick up lines. Amazingly I was such a dork and goofball in highschool and shy until like the end of my junior year then I was so cocky I would just walk up and ask them for name and phone number and get it.

So I am totaly lost of this subject :

Winicki, is that you?

 

[lane]

i just let my pheromones do the talking for me.

 

[Crown Royal]

I have always been too chicken to use a line. I am personable enough that I don't need them to break the ice - I just start talking.

Unfortunately, this often comes off as cocky, and I have had a few noses turned up at me.

 

[silverbear]

I use poetry, it's never failed me... you start chatting a girl up, and after a few moments, take both her hands in yours, gaze soulfully into her eyes, and say:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like peanut butter
Let's f***...

Romance will get 'em every time... LOL...

I actually have used that line before, but only on a lady or two with whom I'd already been intimate, girls I knew had a sense of humor...

 

[silverbear]

They need to bring them back

Shortly after I started to work here at the hotel, it was discovered that I was actually semi-computer literate... it shocked me that none of my other coworkers had ever had ANY experience with a computer... anyway, when the boss discovered that I had a little knowledge, I was promptly made the company's computer guru (what a joke)...

One of my tasks was to try to resuscitate the computer in the Business Center (which is there for the guests' use, IOW it was more or less a public computer)...

Well, I brought in my Norton Systemworks and installed it, cleaned out a lot of junk... uninstalled every messenger program on it-- Yahoo, AOL et al... and just for fun, I installed a coupla screensavers, among them Kaleidoscope 95 (which is still my favorite, it's just pretty) and the Bud Lizards... well, on that one Louie would periodically pop off with a one liner like "hey, what are you clicking at??"...

I didn't think to tell my fellow employees that I'd set that one as the default screensaver, and when I came back to work the following night, they were all cracked up-- seems the owner was sittin' in his office (which is right beside the Business Center), and heard ol' Louie and his wisecracks... they said it took him like 20 minutes to track down where the dialogue was coming from, and when he saw that screensaver, he 'bout to fell on the floor laughing...

That really was a pretty funny screensaver, but not quite as funny as the Clinton Blues screensaver (a Bang-style cartoon that featured Bill playing the sax, in shades, while periodically stopping to deliver one liners of his own-- in one, some unseen "fan" throws a huge pair of white panties on stage, and Bill says "damn*t, Janet, I told you to stop doing that)...