Worst pickup lines that YOU have ever used...

[WoodysGirl]

Had to create a thread about this...

Ok one by me.

I told a guy to tell his parents thank you for creating a fine brother like him.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Hey baby I got a beer HUH HUH HUH HUH *butthead laugh*

 

[Juke99]

"Yeah, I swear trick, if you do this, Hos said he'll make you a moderator."

 

[Kilyin]

Nice shoes, wanna f?

j/k

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Funny story...sometimes my cousin still calls it my best "Pick Up" line.

We were both stationed in Louisiana and I had just gotten off 24 hour duty.
We shared a place with a couple of other guys off post and he picked me as he had the day off.

We stopped at a video rental store to get some movies to watch later in the day.

We both walked in, he in his civilian clothes, I in my uniform.

Two very nice looking hotties were working in there that day.

So we start walking back to the section with the new movies and I was trying to look all cool and stuff and the urge to sneeze hit me.

Well as you know when you sneeze most of the times your ears kind of clog for that second and you can't anything for that second other then your sneeze.

Well when I sneezed I could tell I just let a rip roaring, cheek flapping, a hole hurting, make you turn around to see if your a-hole flew down on the floor..fart. The thing actually hurt like someone took an old time wash board across my sphincter lol.

Needless to say I was embarrased, the girls looked like they were in shock and started giggling and my cousin was laughing so hard he was crying.

We got a couple of movies and I joked around about it and when we got back in the car my cousin looked at me and said....nice pick up line hahaha.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Funny story...sometimes my cousin still calls it my best "Pick Up" line.

We were both stationed in Louisiana and I had just gotten off 24 hour duty.
We shared a place with a couple of other guys off post and he picked me as he had the day off.

We stopped at a video rental store to get some movies to watch later in the day.

We both walked in, he in his civilian clothes, I in my uniform.

Two very nice looking hotties were working in there that day.

So we start walking back to the section with the new movies and I was trying to look all cool and stuff and the urge to sneeze hit me.

Well as you know when you sneeze most of the times your ears kind of clog for that second and you can't anything for that second other then your sneeze.

Well when I sneezed I could tell I just let a rip roaring, cheek flapping, a hole hurting, make you turn around to see if your a-hole flew down on the floor..fart. The thing actually hurt like someone took an old time wash board across my sphincter lol.

Needless to say I was embarrased, the girls looked like they were in shock and started giggling and my cousin was laughing so hard he was crying.

We got a couple of movies and I joked around about it and when we got back in the car my cousin looked at me and said....nice pick up line hahaha.

So it's safe to assume you didn't get a date and they never forgot you.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

So it's safe to assume you didn't get a date and they never forgot you.

I blowed them away with my charm...but at last it did not pan out. :

 

[WoodysGirl]

Funny story...sometimes my cousin still calls it my best "Pick Up" line.

We were both stationed in Louisiana and I had just gotten off 24 hour duty.
We shared a place with a couple of other guys off post and he picked me as he had the day off.

We stopped at a video rental store to get some movies to watch later in the day.

We both walked in, he in his civilian clothes, I in my uniform.

Two very nice looking hotties were working in there that day.

So we start walking back to the section with the new movies and I was trying to look all cool and stuff and the urge to sneeze hit me.

Well as you know when you sneeze most of the times your ears kind of clog for that second and you can't anything for that second other then your sneeze.

Well when I sneezed I could tell I just let a rip roaring, cheek flapping, a hole hurting, make you turn around to see if your a-hole flew down on the floor..fart. The thing actually hurt like someone took an old time wash board across my sphincter lol.

Needless to say I was embarrased, the girls looked like they were in shock and started giggling and my cousin was laughing so hard he was crying.

We got a couple of movies and I joked around about it and when we got back in the car my cousin looked at me and said....nice pick up line hahaha.

Now that's funny...
----------
Recently, I actually had a bus driver driving an actual Metro bus pull over and try and pick me up.

When the bus pulled over, I'm thinking "Why is he pulling over. I'm not at a stop."

Guy opens the door and says, "I know you prolly hear this alot, but I just wanted to say you sure is pretty."

I looked at him, like "Huh" and said Thank you and kept walking.

Guy: "Hey, stop for a second let me talk to you."

Me: "Don't you have a route to drive? You don't wanna be late."

Guy: "Awww, why you gotta be like that? You married?"

Me: "No, but I'm dating." ( I wasn't at the time.)

Guy says, "You happy?"

Me: "Yes"

Guy says, "Can I call you?"

Me: "He's the jealous type."

Guy: "He don't trust you? Aww you don't wanna man, who can't trust you."

Me: "He trusts me. We're doing fine thank you."

Guy: "Well, we can just be friends. Talk on the phone sometimes."

Me: "No. And I gotta go. I'm running late. And I think you are too."

Guy: "You ain't gotta be like that. I was just trying to get to know you better."

Me: "Have a nice day."

And I walked away, thinking "Why me? I can't believe I just got hit on by a bus driver while he's driving his bus."

 

[k19]

I blowed them away with my charm...but at last it did not pan out. :

I cant tell mine on a family sight

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Now that's funny...
----------
Recently, I actually had a bus driver driving an actual Metro bus pull over and try and pick me up.

When the bus pulled over, I'm thinking "Why is he pulling over. I'm not at a stop."

Guy opens the door and says, "I know you prolly hear this alot, but I just wanted to say you sure is pretty."

I looked at him, like "Huh" and said Thank you and kept walking.

Guy: "Hey, stop for a second let me talk to you."

Me: "Don't you have a route to drive? You don't wanna be late."

Guy: "Awww, why you gotta be like that? You married?"

Me: "No, but I'm dating." ( I wasn't at the time.)

Guy says, "You happy?"

Me: "Yes"

Guy says, "Can I call you?"

Me: "He's the jealous type."

Guy: "He don't trust you? Aww you don't wanna man, who can't trust you."

Me: "He trusts me. We're doing fine thank you."

Guy: "Well, we can just be friends. Talk on the phone sometimes."

Me: "No. And I gotta go. I'm running late. And I think you are too."

Guy: "You ain't gotta be like that. I was just trying to get to know you better."

Me: "Have a nice day."

And I walked away, thinking "Why me? I can't believe I just got hit on by a bus driver while he's driving his bus."

You're so fine you stop traffic.

lol

 

[Payton34Smith22]

Just call me milk,I'll do your body good.

Did it hurt....when you fell from heaven?

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas,can I visit you between the holidays?

Is that windex your wearing? Because I can see myself in your pants.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Hey foxy mamma what's your sign?

 

[WoodysGirl]

You're so fine you stop traffic.

lol

Guess in this case, it was true...:laugh2:

I'll have to tell you about the taxi driver who stopped me another day. I wasn't so nice, then.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

I cant tell mine on a family sight

Between that exp and the one while in Korea...I was a hurting puppy lol.

 

[Hoov]

Now that's funny...
----------
Recently, I actually had a bus driver driving an actual Metro bus pull over and try and pick me up.

When the bus pulled over, I'm thinking "Why is he pulling over. I'm not at a stop."

Guy opens the door and says, "I know you prolly hear this alot, but I just wanted to say you sure is pretty."

I looked at him, like "Huh" and said Thank you and kept walking.

Guy: "Hey, stop for a second let me talk to you."

Me: "Don't you have a route to drive? You don't wanna be late."

Guy: "Awww, why you gotta be like that? You married?"

Me: "No, but I'm dating." ( I wasn't at the time.)

Guy says, "You happy?"

Me: "Yes"

Guy says, "Can I call you?"

Me: "He's the jealous type."

Guy: "He don't trust you? Aww you don't wanna man, who can't trust you."

Me: "He trusts me. We're doing fine thank you."

Guy: "Well, we can just be friends. Talk on the phone sometimes."

Me: "No. And I gotta go. I'm running late. And I think you are too."

Guy: "You ain't gotta be like that. I was just trying to get to know you better."

Me: "Have a nice day."

And I walked away, thinking "Why me? I can't believe I just got hit on by a bus driver while he's driving his bus."

LOL, that guy sure was persistent.

As for worst lines used, i have to say im more of the blunt type. i'll more or less just walk up to a woman and say i like your eyes, or i like your hair like that, thats a nice look, or your really cute and look her dead in the eye to follow her reaction. if the girl hesitates or blushes its an opportunity for me to start up a coversation or ask for her company for a drink or sandwich or something.

part of it is im not all that witty to come up with a good line on the spot and the other part is i guess i want to know where i stand right off the bat so i dont waste time letting someone know how i feel. i figure the girl will let me know pretty quickly if she's interested or not.

Now if at any time during a conversation with a female there's an opportunity to interject some sexual inuendo or make a sexual reference or joke out of something that wasn't originally intended to be sexul then im always good for that. l

 

[Yeagermeister]

You must be tired because you have been running around in my mind all day

 

[jamez25]

Did it hurt....when you fell from heaven?

good lawd above.... how bout : " I can't remember my phone number....wanna give me yours ? "

 

[Yeagermeister]

Damn baby!!!! You's a fine mutha@#$%^ why don't you let me pull up to that bumper and slap that monkey

 

[WoodysGirl]

Damn baby!!!! You's a fine mutha@#$%^ why don't you let me pull up to that bumper and slap that monkey

C'mon Yeager, you know you've never used that one...

If you did, how'd it go?

 

[Yeagermeister]

C'mon Yeager, you know you've never used that one...

If you did, how'd it go?

How do you think I got Mrs Yeager? :cunning: