Separated/Divorce

[CowboyStar88]

Trust me. I know it sucks.

I was with the same woman for 33 years, with 32 years being married. She left me on Mother's day 2016. I was devastated, but our marriage was not as happy as I had hoped the last few years anyway. After 14 months of separation I was divorced. During the 14-month separation I held out all kinds of hope we would get back together. Most people thought we would get back together because we still joked and laughed a lot when we did talk. When the divorce was finalized I knew I had to move on. Just before the divorce I moved to a different state with a different job and kind of started over. A month later I met the woman of my dreams. We are madly in love with each other and I cannot imagine being happier. We are both in our mid-50s and secure within ourselves to not play stupid games.

I still talk to my ex-wife in friendly terms and she knows about my new woman and I think she is a bit envious I met someone, but I really have moved on and I hope the best for her but I don't lose sleep over her any more.

Everybody told me the split from my ex-wife was for the best and I didn't believe them then, but it really was for the best. It probably is the best for you too.

This is how one of those True Crime stories starts... Good luck!

 

[CowboyStar88]

I think everyone has pretty much nailed this thread especially (@Trouty ). I was married for 8 years got divorced 3 years ago. I loved her but it became a struggle with her battling her demons. When it finally ended I felt a weight had lifted off my shoulders, and I began to enjoy life. About 6 months later I ran into an old acquaintance and her and I ended up dating and moving in together. She wasn’t over her past and decided to move on. A year later she came back into my life and it had been up and down, and the other day she finally said she needed to let me go. So here I am blindsided my friend.

I haven’t felt like this in I can’t tell you how long, but I have found music to be a great source of comfort along with my dogs and work sadly. Keep your chin up.

 

[Melonfeud]

It isn’t, Mel. It isn’t a “good one” or funny. Shame on you

IT'S OLDER THAN DIRT,TOO J

*I've a 'tender heart' & am not deviod of empathy for our fellow forum friend,,,but yer' being a mite melodramatic in the level of expression in projecting yours don'cha think?
I believe it was Will Rogers once said : "be careful of the problems you share with others,as half of 'em couldn't care & the other half are glad to hear you got 'em"

We all knew @lukin2006's situation ,he's merely telling us( his football fan family) that the marriage counseling was a waste of time,,,I can flat out tell you this much my friend, once that woman yards it off& out the front door,there's a reason and seldom, if EVER are they worth the angst, turmoil & constant exerted effort required in keeping them if they do return,,,look pal,, the sooner you understand that lock on the front door of the house is there to keep people out & not locked inside,,,is the sooner you ,yourself can make gainful strides in yer' mental wellbeing

 

[nobody]

Take your time to process and don't make any rash decisions. Don't rush into something because you're afraid of spending time alone. Don't be afraid to give someone a chance because you're afraid of the same thing happening. Right now, just focus on recovering and rediscovering yourself. The situation sucks, but you can get through this.

I've had friends rush to get into a relationship after a failed one because they hate being alone. It's always ended up badly.
I've had friends who took time to recover and then were terrified to give someone else a chance....and were miserable for years alone.

It can be tough to figure everything out, but it takes two to make a relationship work. If one stops and the other is doing all of the work, that's a terrible burden on the one trying. You may find that you have more energy soon.

Just keep in mind that everything that happened before wasn't a mistake. It helped shape who you are now. You're on a journey to find out who you'll be in the future. Embrace that.

 

[The Fonz]

No, I really had my heart set on the one in red....or the one behind her.

In this case Melon has to find another one.That one has been informed about your interest in her.

(Note: you have to go to a karaoke bar at least once a week and also know how to do the macarena dance )

 

[Ranched]

This all came about the last 24 hours ...

I kinda thought that. It's great you're getting it out. But, like my dear good friend @Trouty explained, you may receive some uncalled for replies when posting public. That said, I'm here for you....always.

 

[Ranched]

Lol

 

[Runwildboys]

In this case Melon has to find another one.That one has been informed about your interest in her.

(Note: you have to go to a karaoke bar at least once a week and also know how to do the macarena dance )

Never mind then.

 

[MichaelWinicki]

Well thanks, Mike. What a hell of a contribution for Lukin

Disgusting response, considering the OP, and frankly it should be deleted.

“Yay, this guy knows the stats”....

I’m disgusted by this post. You’re on a lower rung with me, and whether you care or not, I can give a you-know-what-less. And that says a lot, considering our history.

Shame on you for your wickedly blasé answer and shame on those 11 people (and probably counting) that Liked that nonsense, drive-by thoughtless post (other than yourself, as you are seemingly figuring out what all this means, Lukin [ie the meaning of life/love etc], and simpleton responses like the one quoted are like crack for the crack addict, looking for an easy fix to a deep-rooted issue), some simple response that equivocates all of our troubles. It’s never that easy.

It was a joke Trouty.

 

[John813]

@lukin2006 Sorry to hear man.
My parents have gone through a similar thing, without the divorce being finalized.
Father still had feelings, mom didn't. Tough on everyone.

@Trouty I get your point, especially with lukin being devastated over this but I don't feel anyone posted in mean spirits to brush off his sadness/despair. I saw almost everything in a funny manner to hopefully get his mind in a better place, even if only temporary. Anywho, don't want to drag this topic off, but just give my 2cents.

 

[rags747]

I have never been married myself so it would be hard for me to feel what u are feeling but i would say No worries brother you have your life ahead of you just plan it differently.
Get yourself a sweet Filipina and you will feel like a king again.They are low maintenance.I know few people who did and they are having a great time.

Hey, Yesterday it was an Amish girl. What's next...

 

[Runwildboys]

This is hardly profound. Its a blithering obvious stat that we have known for some time, as the disintegration of marriage is very real and has been an epidemic for many years. Very true, and very obvious, and incredibly lazy and not needed or conducive to healing for the op.

"Oh hey, half the marriages end in divorce, you're okay guy"

That's ******* profound to you? Really? **** dude, you're too easy. But hey, Floatyworm agrees...

Wow Brother, you seem to be in a bad mood today, and jumping down everyone's throats for nothing but jocularity.
I'm not all too familiar with your posting, but from what I've seen, this seems uncharacteristic.

Everything okay?

 

[Trouty]

Wow Brother, you seem to be in a bad mood today, and jumping down everyone's throats for nothing but jocularity.
I'm not all too familiar with your posting, but from what I've seen, this seems uncharacteristic.

Everything okay?

It was a bad night, and I'm very sorry to Lukin and this thread. I'm so sorry for the way I was posting last night to everyone in this thread. It's not an excuse, but I just had wisdom teeth surgery and was hopped up on too many pain pills and posting a fool.

 

[Runwildboys]

It was a bad night, and I'm very sorry to Lukin and this thread. I'm so sorry for the way I was posting last night to everyone in this thread. It's not an excuse, but I just had wisdom teeth surgery and was hopped up on too many pain pills and posting a fool.

You've been so cool for so long, I don't think anyone will hold it against you.

 

[The Fonz]

Hey, Yesterday it was an Amish girl. What's next...

We want them all lol

 

[Trouty]

It was a joke Trouty.

i'm so sorry for how i posted at you. i wish i could delete it. i wish i could delete everything i posted last night.

nearly everyone in this thread i know and like, and i was an arse to some of the best people here, including yourself, just so i could be loud and sound off. it isn't fair to Lukin, and it isn't fair to my friends and fellow posters in here.

i absolutely know you're a good, kind-hearted person, and i took an innocuous joke too far. way, way too far. please forgive me, please accept my apology, Mike

 

[Ranched]

It was a bad night, and I'm very sorry to Lukin and this thread. I'm so sorry for the way I was posting last night to everyone in this thread. It's not an excuse, but I just had wisdom teeth surgery and was hopped up on too many pain pills and posting a fool.

Well....that explains alot. You're wisdom is gone!

OMG, forgive me Trouty. But you left yourself WIDE OPEN for that one. Be lucky @Ranching didn't see your post.... yet lol.

 

[Trouty]

Well....that explains alot. You're wisdom is gone!

OMG, forgive me Trouty. But you left yourself WIDE OPEN for that one. Be lucky @Ranching didn't see your post.... yet lol.

A joke, yet probably so true

 

[Ranching]

Well....that explains alot. You're wisdom is gone!

OMG, forgive me Trouty. But you left yourself WIDE OPEN for that one. Be lucky @Ranching didn't see your post.... yet lol.

I was being nice......

 

[Ranched]

Hey, Yesterday it was an Amish girl. What's next...